Every time you feel the need to bitch about tours like Ozzfest, The Cool Tour, or any other summer package-fest-thinger, just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and tell yourself: suffering is relative. Yes, those tours might not have the strongest line-ups imaginable, but they do have good bands on them, and things could be way, way worse.

For example: The “Scream Like You Mean It” tour, which will feature Silverstein, I Set My Friends on Fire, Dance Gavin Dance, and a bunch of other bands I don’t actually know but I think I can safely assume are pretty awful. (If a band called “Ivoryline” actually turns out to be any good, then I will fuck my sister. Wait, I don’t have a sister. Okay, I’ll fuck your sister, then. Your sister.) The Sayreville, NJ stop of the tour will even throw in The Devil Wears Prada, Miss May I, and Your Demise, just to make extra-sure that you never ever wanna go to this fucking tour, ever.

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Protest the Hero’s recent release Fortress is, even at this early stage, in the running for my favorite album of 2008 (read my review). So I was thrilled to have the opportunity to chat with vocalist Rody Walker, who, between the time of our chat and now, posted a message on the band’s MySpace announcing they’d be pulling out of their already-underway tour with Silverstein due to being “exhausted and miserable.” Though this interview was conducted on the second day of Protest the Hero’s tour for the Fortress album cycle, it’s evident that the band were already having their share of problems on the road.

Rody told us about the pitfalls of touring during the winter, his feelings on the commercial success of Fortress, the band’s writing process, and his perpetual hard-on for Symphony X. Read the entire chat transcript after the jump.

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