Still have no idea what to get your loved one this Valentine’s Day? How about buying them a special Valentine’s Day-themed SLAYER t-shirt with a FREE Slayer condom? That’s right, folks: you could be dipping your Slayer-adorned dong in your lady’s pink clam while yelling “Fucking Slaaaaaayyyyyerrrrr!” at the top of your lungs and you’d actually be telling the truth. That’s a once in a lifetime opportunity that seems too good to pass up!

Visit the Slayer webshop to take advantage of this special deal (which, at $26.99 per shirt plus an item that’s given away for free at most bars, actually isn’t a very special deal at all). There’s one t-shirt design for men and one for women, so whichever way you swing there’s something for your partner (but let’s be honest, we know for a fact that 90% of MetalSucks readers are dudes).

Upon closer inspection, the condom actually just looks like a regular Durex in Slayer packaging. Man, they really missed an opportunity to make something especially sick and twisted. So, if you’re really hard up for a gift and your loved one likes Slayer… buy an overpriced t-shirt.

-VN

The rumor was that this year’s edition of Mayhem Fest would feature Slipknot, Slayer, Motorhead, Anthrax, The Devil Wears Prada, As I Lay Dying and Whitechapel; yesterday, we got confirmation that Slipknot are indeed headlining the outing, and now all the other bands have been confirmed, too. In fact, the only band on the bill that WASN’T rumored to be in the line-up is Asking Alexandria. I’m assuming the festival’s organizers kept that one top-secret on purpose; I mean, I wouldn’t want people to know I was working with Asking Alexandria, either.

All kidding aside, the only bands here I’d consider a total miss are The Devil Wears Prada and the aforementioned Asking Alexandria, and I’m aware that, yes, while I personally may loathe those bands, they will put butts in seats. The rest of the line-up is great; this is obviously Slipknot’s big U.S. comeback tour, and the combination of them and Slayer alone should pretty much guarantee that every metal fan in the country shows up for this thing.

Dates are after the jump, courtesy of Metal Inejection.

Click to read more…

Uh… whoops.

The full line-up for this year’s Rockstar Energy Mayhem Festival isn’t scheduled to be unveiled until tomorrow — but a rep for Ibanez has now confirmed that the rumor that Slipknot will be one of the headliners on the this year’s installment of the tour. I don’t know if it was an accident and the guy didn’t realize he wasn’t supposed to say anything, or if he’s a marketing genius and he realized that letting the cat out of the bag early would get thousands of metal fans across the web to watch a video about the product he’s selling, but whatever I guess.

You can check out in the video below; the confirmation of Slipknot’s participating in the fest comes at about the ten second mark.

A source close to the festival told us over the weekend that several of the other rumored acts, including Slayer and Anthrax, will, indeed, also be on the this year’s bill. I guess we’ll find out for sure when the roster is officially announced tomorrow.

-AR

[via The PRP]

Earlier this week, rumors began to circulate about the line-up for the 2012 edition of Summer Slaughter, and if they’re even kinda-sorta true, the package tour may have put together its best bill ever. Now, The PRP is reporting unconfirmed rumors about the line-up for the 2012 edition of Mayhem Fest, and it sounds like the organizers of that tour ain’t slouching, either: Slipknot, Slayer, Motorhead, Anthrax, The Devil Wears Prada, As I Lay Dying and Whitechapel are all said to be possibilites for this year’s installment of the festival.

Like I said, these are currently unconfirmed rumors, and even The PRP says that “a grain (or more) of salt should be taken” with ‘em. But can you imagine if that line-up is real? I actually think the bill has been on the weaker side for Mayhem for the past couple of years, but even with The Devil Wears Prada (who are horrendous) and Whitechapel (who aren’t horrendous but just really are not my thing) on the tour, having Slipknot, Slayer, Motorhead, Anthrax, and As I Lay Dying all on one show would make it unmissable. And I have to imagine that those would all be mainstage acts, which means there would still be X number of potentially awesome slots available on the secondary stages.

The actual, official line-up will be announced on January 25, so this time next week, we’ll know whether or not these rumors were not really rumors at all. Fingers crossed…

-AR

Our pals over at Metal Injection recently unearthed the below video of Fantomas playing a medley of old Slayer tunes, and, yeah, it’s pretty great. Despite the presence of Slayer drummer Dave Lomabardo, Fantomas put their own unique spin on the material, rather than just doing rote copies of the originals. Killer stuff… check it out below:

-AR

UPDATED:

And the Awesomest Idea of the Week award goes to Metal Injection, who have now created the Tom Araya Scream button. It’s a relatively simple concept, sure — you click a button like the one pictured below, and Tom Araya’s legendary scream from “Angel of Death” blasts at full volume — but isn’t genius the obvious idea that somehow no one has ever thought of before?

Click here to check out the Tom Araya Scream. It feels great if you have some aggression to burn.

ORIGINAL POST:

Click to read more…

UPDATED:

Jeff Hanneman has been out of commission for most of 2011, even missing Slayer’s appearances at various Big Four shows, due to almost dying from a spider bite — which, as far as ways to almost die go, is incredibly fucking metal.

Now Hanneman has recounted the tale of his near-death experience in an interview with Classic Rock, and not only is it chock-full of surprisingly funny quotes (like the one in my headline) and details (his doctor at the hospital was a Slayer fan), but with the simple line “I could see the flesh corrupting,” it proves that Hanneman talks the same way he writes lyrics. Which is, y’know, awesome.

Here’s the juicy part of the interview:

Click to read more…

via Badass Digest

Dj Slashba — noun – 1. A temp. 2.  A fill-in, placeholder. 3. A pretender to the throne. 4. Someone who keeps an unlit cigarette dangling from lips. 5. A retard.

Props to our friend Nick for teaching us a new term.

Here’s some shit we did this week:

• We got a tour of the live rig used by Obscura’s Christian Muenzner.
• We debuted new music by Czar, and, thanks to our pals at Decibel, Agoraphobic Nosebleed.
• We spoke to Nader Sadek.
• We checked out the latest releases from Locrian, The Wounded Kings, and Astomatous.
• We examined Slayer’s tour rider.
• We wondered if this commercial will really help sell lingerie or not.
• We over-thought the latest ramblings of Courtney Love.
• We contemplated the most over-used words in extreme metal writing.
• We considered the music of Fallujah.
• By special request, Sergeant D. reviewed Carnifex’s Until I Feel Nothing.

Next week we have some very cool interviews, some very cool music premieres, and, oh yeah, we gorge ourselves on Turkey and celebrate ridding ourselves of that pesky little Native American nuisance. See ya then.

-AR

Ever wonder what Slayer’s rider looks like? Well, now we have the answers: The Most Metal Metal Band of All Time apparently loves Gogurt, Bowflex, Hogan’s Heroes, hand sanitizer, and hand satanizer.

And the craziest part about this document is that it’s apparently 100% real — Transmission Entertainment is the company that puts on FunFunFun Fest, at which Slayer appeared this year. AND the band apparently sent it out BEFORE Danzig had his little bitch fit at the fest, so it’s not yet another example of Slayer having fun at Danzig’s expense.

That being said, we can safely assume that it’s meant as a joke. We hope.

Check it out below… click to enlarge:

In other news, Slayer are still cooler than every other band in the Big Four combined.

-AR

[via Hard Rock Chick by way of Corey Mitchell]

Yep, that’s what this video portrays. You’re either curious to see it or you’re not. There is nothing else I can really say to tempt you. It’s not like it turns out the bear is Keyser Söze or anything. So watch this. Or don’t. I really don’t care.

-AR

[via Metal Insider]

…the results sound a lot like one of those really poorly-produced black metal albums. Hm. Interesting. Slayer’s influence is even further-reaching than we suspected!!!

-AR

[via Metal Injection]

At this past weekend’s FunFunFunFest in Austin, Texas, a heavy metal behemoth slayed all comers as far as garnering the positive headlines. No, I’m not talking about thrash legends Slayer, who closed out the fest with a brilliant set (review forthcoming) that made their Big 4 NY appearance look tame by comparison. I’m definitely not talking about The Artist Formerly Known As Mr. Kitty Litter AKA The Artist Now Known For French Onion Soup and A Wendy’s Chicken Sandwich AKA Mr. Glenn Danzig (see recap of his divantics™ here). Nope, I’m talking about Mr. Hollywood Hunk his own bad self, Mr. Ryan Gosling.

Click to read more…

So, hey, remember how Danzig acted like a real douche at Fun Fun Fun Fest this past weekend ’cause he didn’t get a bowl of French onion soup?

Well, Slayer — who also played the festival — have never been above a little good ol’ fashioned shit talking in the press, and I guess they decided to have some fun at Glenn’s expense. ‘Cause they posted the below photo on their Facebook page, along with the caption “Great show tonight @FunFunFunFest got everything we needed.”

Bravo, Slayer. Bra-fuckin’-vo.

-AR

Additional reporting by Antonin Skullia, Esq.

Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…

We’ve done three special one-off Decibels now, and have pimped them in this very spot like Jodie Foster in Taxi Driver (you can do anything you want with them… but no rough stuff, all right?). The one you see above is my favorite, not necessarily because I prefer thrash to black metal or a general ’90s metal countdown, but because a shark eating a skeleton eating a pizza is only half the fucking cover art by acclaimed metal artist Andrei Bouzikov (Municipal Waste, Skeletonwitch, Cannabis Corpse).

Anyway, the content is just as choice: a galloping rundown of the top 50 thrash albums of all time, buffered by seven radical Hall of Fames:

Slayer, Reign in Blood
Anthrax, Among the Living
Testament, The Legacy
Metallica,  …And Justice for All
Megadeth, Rust in Peace
Anacrusis, Reason
Prong, Beg to Differ

The latter three are exclusive to this issue, duh. If you’re wondering why the Big Four haven’t been fully represented in the Hall until now, well, it took years of busting ass from writer Chris Dick to make it happen. (Which you probably could’ve guessed—I mean, it’s Megadeth.) But it’s really funny and harsh and long—I’m sure I’ll post some deleted scene action here someday, since we basically had to cut it in half. Anyway, the Thrash HOF issue is available only in Decibel’s webstore and select indie record shops (go here to find a store near you). If you missed out on our previous special issues, we’ve put together this triple-threat bundle for extreme convenience. You’re welcome.

Any other thrash-centric HOFs you wanna see in the future? Comment away.

-AB

You can order this very special one-off issue right here. And, of course, the December 2011 issue of Decibel – which features Megadeth, Municipal Waste, Animals as Leaders, Landmine Marathon, Hammers of Misfortune, and an awesome Goatwhore flexi disc – can be ordered here. But why not just get a full subscription to ensure that you never miss one an issue?

I don’t watch NCIS: Los Angeles, or the regular NCIS, for that matter, but last week the reader known “The Flying Scotsman” (That’s a silly handle, everyone knows Scottish people can’t fly!) tipped us off that a recent episode of the former show had included a pretty funny bit involving the names of various metal bands. At the time only the full episode was available for streaming, but last night Scott Ian from Anthrax — one of the bands referenced in the scene — tweeted the individual clip. So now that you don’t hafta skim the whole episode to get to the one metal-relevant joke, I thought you might enjoy seeing it.

And if not, well, blow me. I’m trying to keep you guys entertained, you could at least be grateful, dicks.

Funny, no? I think there’s actually a little bit more in the full scene, but you get the idea.

And then I found twenty bucks.

-AR

Happy birthday, Reign in Blood! We love you. You don’t sound a day over one.

Here’s some other things that happened this week which are worth celebrating:

• We started the countdown to The Metal Suckfest.
• We debuted new music by Immolation and a new video by Early Graves.
• Devin Townsend and Textures’ Jochem Jacobs and Bart Hennephof took us through their live rigs.
• GWAR’s David Brockie discussed the NFL, Daath’s Eyal Levi discussed getting the fuck out, and God Forbid’s Doc Coyle discussed how the times, they are a changin’.
• We spoke to Mike Muir from Suicidal Tendencies, Mother of Mercy’s Bob Wilson, and directors Sean Dunne and Kenneth Thomas.
• We checked out new releases by Ghoul and Taake and Craft.
• Sergeant D. became the most popular feminist in metal.
• Bring Me the Horizon’s Oli Sykes had a bad week.
• We mourned the death of the album intro track.
• We wondered if Mastodon’s live vocals are getting better.

Now go crank some Slayer.

See ya Monday.

-AR

The highlight of last week’s Big Four show at Yankee Stadium was Slayer, and with all due respect to Kerry King, Tom Araya, Jeff Hanneman, and, in this instance, guest guitarist Gary Holt, the highlight of any Slayer show is Dave Lombardo. Never mind that, at the age of 46, he hasn’t slowed down a bit, and is still ten time better than most drummers half his age — he’s so good he has the ability to make Slayer songs on which he did not originally play, like “Disciple,” sound better. And I say that being a fan of Paul Bostaph, who recorded “Disciple” originally.

So, while I’m as sick as discussing of the Big Four as anybody, I just HAD to post these drum cam videos of Lombardo at the concert, ’cause you can’t celebrate that dude’s excellence too much. Also, because they offer the best perspective of just how many people (41,451!) were at this damn show.

Here’s “Disciple”…

…and you can check out “Post Mortem,” “Hate Worldwide,” and “War Ensemble” after the jump.

Click to read more…

via WWTDD

So much of this week ended up being devoted to the Big Four that I honestly don’t wanna think about any of those bands again for at least the remainder of the year. So to wrap this shit up, here’s everything Big Four-related we did this week:

• We live snarked the Big Four show at Yankee Stadium.
• We went to an Anthrax press conference.
• We went to the Metal Masters clinic and saw Phil Anselmo jam some Pantera with various Big Fourers.
• We debated the merits and demerits of Anthrax’s Worship Music.
• We listened to Lars Ulrich on Howard Stern.
• We had fun at the expense of Dave Mustaine’s faith.
• We had a Big Four edition of Show Us Your Metalsucks.
• We helped Metal Injection with their Big Four-themed Livecast.
• I also made an appearance in Metal Injection’s Big Four video recap, which you MUST watch because a) it’s awesome and b) I’m so handsome!

During our Big 4 Live Snark on Wednesday, we reported that during Megadeth’s set, Dave Mustaine told the crowd he needed neck surgery, and had been in a hospital as recently as Tuesday; in fact, not only was there a rumor on Monday that Megadeth were gonna miss the show, but word around the campfire was that Exodus had even been approached about possibly taking ‘Deth’s spot should the Davester have to drop out. (Fans offended that Exodus and not Testament were approached should keep in mind in that Gary Holt was already playing with Slayer anyway, so, y’know.)

Now Rolling Drone has scored a non-scoop by getting Mustaine to say in print that which he already said at the concert: he needs neck surgery. So, in case you didn’t believe him the first time he said it, now you should believe him because he told the magazine that gave St. Anger a positive review.

The interesting part of the interview, though, is Mustaine’s claim that G-O-D fixed it so he didn’t have to miss the Yankee Stadium show despite his neck issues:

Click to read more…

Hey-o!!! If you’re not sick of listening to us ramble on and on about The Big Four yet, I’m gonna be on the Metal Injection Livecast tonight at 8 pm eastern/7 pm central to continue to discuss the show. You can even call in at 646-929-1357 if you wanna ask a specific question, or tell us what assholes we are for not saying unconditionally nice things about each and every band and daring to have an opinion. (I know one of you left a comment under our live snark yesterday saying you hope I die in front of my parents, which seems like a pretty reasonable punishment for daring to suggest that Metallica in 2011 might not be the best thing ever.)

Listen here. The fun starts at 8 pm eastern/7 pm central.

-AR