MetalSucks

Did you know that if you eat before you start slamming shots, you’ll get a little less drunk, but you’ll also have something to vomit up later? It’s true. Also, sometimes when you smoke weed, you get the munchies. These are just two great reasons why you should care about Hellbent for Cooking: The Heavy Metal Cookbook by Annick “Morbid Chef” Giroux. Showcasing “a varied menu of over a hundred recipes from thirty countries,” Hellbent for Cooking features recipes by members of Accept, Anthrax, Anvil, Armored Saint, Brutal Truth, Death, Electric Wizard, Eyehategod, Gwar, Judas Priest, Kreator, Mayhem, Melechesh, Nuclear Assault, Obituary, Repulsion, Saint Vitus, Sepultura, Sigh, S.O.D., Slough Feg, Thin Lizzy, Toxic Holocaust, and about a trillion others (you can get a complete list of contributing bands here).

MetalSucks is teaming up with Bazillion Points Publishing to give away three (3) copies of Hellbent for Cooking. All you have to do to win is create a picture that somehow connects metal to food and post a link to someplace we can view said picture in the comments section below. Use Photoshop to create an image of Lemmy eating a hot dog, use MS Paint to do a portrait of Metallica as the pepperonis on a pizza, whatever you want – it just has to be both food and metal related, and it has to amuse us. Vince and I will choose the three pics that make us laugh the hardest and those pics’ creators win the book.

This contest will end at midnight EST on Monday, December 14. Please note that this contest is open to U.S. residents only, as shipping costs are a bitch. And if you’re too lazy to participate, you can always just order a copy of the book here.

Good luck, and good eats…

-AR

So that was fun, wasn’t it? Devin’s site takeover gave me the day off, and I took advantage by getting in some QT with the MetalSucks Mansion Monkeys. There’s a precocious little fellow named Roberts who’s really shown some smarts as of late… watch out for that little guy in the near future! But for now it’s back to the regular douchebaggery courtesy Uncles Axl and Vince. Sorry folks, Devin day can’t be every day.

Pick-Axe Bobby sent in Roxwel.com footage of Municipal Waste playing the S.O.D. classic “United Forces” with Billy Milano at the Austin, TX stop of the MetalSucks-sponsored Waste the World tour. According to the aforementioned Roberts, this show was exactly one day after the Houston flood debacle. See? I told you he was smart. Even if you don’t dig The Waste or S.O.D. this video is worth the price of admission to hear Billy Milano talk his usual trash — nothing like telling your audience to “shut up” upon entering the stage and claiming Muncipal Waste play the song better than S.O.D. did. Gotta love Billy Milano.

-VN

Municipal Waste feat. Billy Milano – United Forces
www.roxwel.com

Dan Lilker is, to use a technical term, a badass motherfucker. As a founding member of Anthrax and un-PC crossover thrashsters S.O.D. and longtime bassist for Nuclear Assault, he had a significant hand in keeping metal filthy in a time when toy poodle hair and Day-Glo spandex were the norm. With deathgrind innovators Brutal Truth and grind supergroup Venomous Concept, he helped build upon the metal he himself innovated, synthesizing punk and hardcore in a way only someone with a true understanding of both could do. A prolific sideman in a lot of awesome/important bands (as well as a pretty decent bassist), Lilker is perhaps one of metal’s great unsung heroes. So, in theory, he’s entitled to a dud album by a lackluster band every now and again. And Crucifist, his shot at black metal, certainly tests his lifetime pass. And though its failures aren’t what plague other prominent musicians’ ill-fated black metal side projects – a lack of understanding of the genre and/or the inability to decide whether it’s paying tribute to or taking the piss out of it – that doesn’t stop Crucifist from being ultimately incredibly dull overall.

Click to read more…

In 2009, my primary interest in Billy Milano is reading the new and creative ways the dudes at Metal Inquistion come up with to give him shit (read here and here for examples). Still, I recognize that once upon a time the dude made good music, and about a gajillion of you e-mailed us the link to this video of him performing S.O.D.’s “United Forces” with Lamb of God (and Doc Coyle!) at a recent Metallica concert. So, y’know, let’s call this one a reader request.

-AR

In honor of Alaskan metalcore band 36 Crazyfists’ new DVD, Under a Northern Sky (in stores October 27), a list of 35 other famous, metal, heavy, and/or crazy fists:

Click to read more…

As an interviewer, you quickly learn that you have very little control how an interview goes. Of course, you can show up well prepared and ready to chat all day long, but if the person you’re interviewing turns out to be a diva/an imbecile/hungover/whatever, there’s really nothing you can do but try to get through it as quickly and painlessly as possible and hope it translates in way that is at least semi-interesting way for the eventual reader.

Of course, in the case of Sergeant D from Metal Inquisition, making a not-so-great interview with the not-so-bright Billy Milano translate in a semi-interesting way for the reader means constantly pointing out the ways in which Milano turned out to be a limp dick. And thank Christ for that, ’cause otherwise this interview would be awful.

Here’s a nice little sample for ya:

Click to read more…

Metal Inquistion – which may be the funniest metal blog on the net besides the one you’re currently reading – has posted this video of Billy Milano, with the following observation:

“Billy Milano must be one of the world’s most annoying human beings, and also one of the saddest. Watch this video, and tell me you don’t want to just punch him in the face so many times that your hand will break in half…

“The band’s name is M.O.D. for god’s sake….Mr. Milano had such a hard time letting go of S.O.D. that he started a bizarro world version of it. It’s as though Dave Mustaine had been kicked out of Metallica and had gone on to start Netallica.”

Watch the video and see if you agree.

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-AR