I get bummed out when a girl breaks up with me, but it’s kinda fun in a way, right? I just love that moment in the End of Relationship talk when the break-upper can no longer resist loudly listing my faults. Sure, most girls will attempt to execute the break-up humanely ,without telling me the reasons in explicit terms. But if needled, coerced, and (if all else fails) brow-beaten, any departing ladyfriend will be happy to smash through that veneer of kindness and read me the fucking riot act.

This is when I’m in my element, ’cause it’s hilarious to hear the exact same shit every time, like Groundhog Day or W.A.S.P. albums. The first complaint, accompanied by a chuckle, is usually a variation of “Dude, you’re quite stupid. Seriously.” The next is delivered with a bit of sensitivity, lest I lash out in denial: “Anso, you display persistent symptoms of [insert mental illness here]. Get help.” Then, in most cases, we move on to my more tangible failings: the pervasive vulgarity, the sociopath’s disregard for human life and rights of property, drugs, NBA mania, manipulation, hair rock fandom, paranoia, spitting, reckless driving, cheapness, violent sleepwalking, and everything else.

I’ve found that it makes a fun game to shout out the complaints as she’s saying them, followed by a “JINX! You owe me a Coke!” Sometimes, I can even harmonize if she and I agree in advance on a key. (Tip: Try Dm, the saddest of all keys.)

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While we have no intention of going to see Kittie play with a bunch of clowns and The Insane Clown Posse, I suspect we will find our way to Soilwork’s next U.S. tour, which will be with Death Angel and feature support from Augury, Mutiny Within, and Swashbuckle. We haven’t gotten to check out the band since Peter Wichers re-joined, and, truth be told, it didn’t feel quite right without The Wichmeister.

And I promise never to refer to him as “The Wichmeister” again.

Dates after the jump!

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Many of you expressed a deep satisfaction last week when I goofed and [accurately] proclaimed Demon Hunter’s “Collapsing” a Figure Number Five-era Soilwork ripoff, not realizing that Bjorn “Speed” Strid actually made a guest appearance in the song. Oops! Congratulations folks, you really pwned me on that one. But hey, guess what? You still like Demon Hunter and therefore fail at metal. QED.

Here’s the video for “Rejection Role,” the opening track on said Soilwork album. This video is particularly appropriate because it features a guest appearance by Soilwork’s own forebears in In Flames. The difference is that this song doesn’t suck.

Soilwork are working on their new album The Panic Broadcast right now… as in probably right this very minute. They’ve been posting updates over at The Deciblog, including this nugget from Speed in the most recent entry: “… we really feel that it’s a schizophrenic masterpiece. There’s a lot of surprises and trippy parts and sometimes so full-on that it leaves you absolutely breathless. It is the most intense Soilwork album so far, without a doubt.” That quote gets me more excited for the new album than watching bassist Ola Flink do his goofy stage moves… and those get me really excited!

-VN

Apparently all those goody-two-shoes Christian values don’t mean anything when it comes to ripping off your heroes. Demon Hunter’s new song “Collapsing” is a pretty damned good Figure Number Five-era Soilwork impersonation, right down to the hollow-sounding drum production, razor-sharp synth sounds and sing-songy chorus. All it needs to do is be better and you’d have a dead-ringer for Soilwork circa 2003.

-VN

Thanks: Samuel A Favata

Dirk Verbeuren is a fucking MONSTER behind the kit. Dude could just be playing 1/8th notes on the hi-hat and nothing else, and he’s have more finesse and style than 99% of drummers in metal today who can out-blast each other into oblivion. Just sayin’.

Check out Verbeuren in this video (first posted on Blabbermouth) of the recording sessions for The Panic Broadcast, Soilwork’s forthcoming album. As if watching this guy pound away at the kit weren’t enough, we get the added bonus of (sort of) getting to hear the rest of the music, sans-vocals, of a new Soilwork track. We even get a guitar solo, presumably played by Peter Wichers. This video gives great reason to be hopeful that the new Soilwork record will be as good as we hope it will be.

-VN

Phew! There’s been a lot of news about some great bands’ new releases these past few days. Here’s a quick round-up:

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Soilwork have a lot to prove with their next record, which a press release from Nuclear Blast tells us will be called The Panic Broadcast. It’s not that 2007′s Sworn to a Great Divide was bad, but it’s that it was just OK. Ever since the departure of primary songwriter Peter Wichers from the band before that album was recorded (and the subsequent departure of his uncle, longtime guitarist Ola Frenning), it’s felt like Soilwork have been rambling along somewhat aimlessly, trying — and falling just short of — re-living their past glory.

But now that Wichers is back in the band the game has changed.

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Death metal butchers Aborted have launched the title-track of their forthcoming EP, Coronary Reconstruction, at the band’s redesigned MySpace page.

Aborted have recently announced a new line-up, featuring Sven de Caluwe (also of System Divide) on vocals, Dirk Verbeuren (Soilwork) on drums, Eran Segal (ex-They Swarm/Whorecore) and Ken Sorceron (Abigail Williams) on guitar and Cole Martinez (System Divide) on bass…

Wait wait wait wait wait wait. The dude from Abigail Williams is in Aborted now? How the fuck did I miss that?

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There’s nothing terribly innovative or groundbreaking about Italy’s Disarmonia Mundi but sometimes a healthy dose of pop-melodeath is just what I need (and God no, I’d never listen to that Sonic Syndicate abortion). More known for often partnering up with Soilwork vocalist Bjorn “Speed” Strid than anything else, Disarmonia Mundi are actually quite good at what they do even if they are essentially to Soilwork as Soilwork are to In Flames, a slightly poppier version of their forebears. I stumbled upon Disarmonia Mundi years ago because I was totally obsessed with Soilwork — ok fine I still totally love everything Soilwork do — and uncovered their linked histories via that bastion of music minutae AllMusic.com.

So Disarmonia Mundi have a new album on the way December 9th called The Isolation Game. The new record does in fact feature guest appearances by Speed Strid, a press release tells us, but to what extent isn’t quite clear. The band has a couple of new tracks streaming up on their MySpace. If you like this sort of music I imagine you’ll eat this up. If not… sucks for you.

-VN

Alright, people. I feel like fucking death. I just wanna go lie down and hopefully never wake up. Let’s get this over with:

• We finally finished the goddamn motherfucking list with “Albums We Wish Had Made It” entries from my man Vince (Soilwork’s Natural Born Chaos) and my girl Amy Sciarretto (DEP’s not-really-eligible Calculating Infinity).
• We got another exclusive world tour video tour diary from Misery Index. We also spoke with Johnny Kelly of Type O Negative and Seventh Void and got our bro-bros at Thrash Hits to do a video interview with Trigger the Bloodshed for us. Thanks, dudes.
• We lost IQ points just watching this video interview with the singer of Attack! Attack!
• We have it on good authority that there’s gonna be an Acid Bath reunion.
• Dallas Coyle is now answering your questions.
• So is Gwar’s Oderus Urungus.

We’ll be at Summer Slaughter on Sunday. If any of you spot us and want to buy us a drink, please, for the love of all things holy, don’t.

-AR

Soilwork, Natural Born Chaos (Nuclear Blast, 2002)
Björn “Speed” Strid − Vocals
Peter Wichers − Guitars
Ola Frenning − Guitars
Ola Flink − Bass
Sven Karlsson − Keyboards
Henry Ranta − Drums
Produced by Devin Townsend

When Soilwork dropped Natural Born Chaos in 2002, “metalcore” was not yet a twinkle in the eye of a million American copycats. Just pure. Fucking. Swedish. Heavy metal. Though their countrymen In Flames may have melodicized death metal first (or second, after At the Gates, I suppose), Soilwork arguably did it better, and the Devin Townsend-produced Natural Born Chaos stands as the band’s defining moment.

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You bitched and moaned about daylight savings time, even though you were asleep when the clocks changed and you get an extra hour of daylight every day until November. You are all retards.

Here’s what else happened this week:

• Sigh’s Mirai Kawashima gave us another studio report (no naked Dr. Mikannibal pics, sorry), Early Man’s Mike Conte got his cheesesteak on, and Neuraxis’ Alexandre Leblanc gave us his final tour blog.
• We spoke with Darkane’s Christofer Malmstrom, Meshuggah’s Marten Hagstrom, Soilwork’s Peter Wichers and Ross the Boss (ex-Manowar)
• Our man-crush on Trent Reznor grew ever greater.
• You argued over who was the most important member of Metallica, past and present.
• We looked at new releases by Razor of Occam and Karl Sanders.
• It was a big week in the Norwegian courts… the Gorgoroth case was settled, and Varg was granted parole.
• Crazytown and Skunk Anansie are getting back together.

Next week Kip and I take off for Austin, TX on Wednesday. We’ll be live-blogging whenever possible. To everyone else, have fun not being there, suckazzz!!

-VN

Watching Peter Wichers play with Soilwork last month at New York’s Highline Ballroom was like witnessing a homecoming of sorts. Sure, it wasn’t the very first show back for Wichers, a founding member and key songwriter who recently returned to the group after a four-year hiatus, who had already been playing with the band for weeks on tour with Darkane, Warbringer and Swallow the Sun. Still, it just felt so right. Without Wichers, Soilwork was like a lumbering beast doing its best Soilwork impersonation… but it wasn’t quite Soilwork. Sworn to a Great Divide was a decent album, but “decent” was exactly as far as it went. Before the show I caught up with Wichers to ask him about the circumstances leading to his return to the band, balancing life on the road and life with a family, what it’s like to play someone else’s material in your band, his production work on the Nuclear Blast Allstars project and Warrel Dane solo record, and what the future holds for Soilwork. Our chat, after the fold.

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U.K. prog-death-thrashers (yeah, I said it) Sylosis are without a doubt one of the young bands that interest me most in 2009, thanks in no small part to the urging of several MetalSucks readers. Their Nuclear Blast debut Conclusion of an Age is a refreshing burst of modern thrash and death metal, rolled into a nicely accessible little package and sprinkled with prog influences that show the maturity and restraint of a band twice their young age. We’ll post an official MetalSucks review shortly, but in the meantime I was able to catch up with guitarist Josh Middleton to ask him a few questions about the formation of the band, the events that led to their deal with Nuclear Blast, their upcoming touring plans and their metal heroes.

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The splendidly worded (and completely, 100% grammatically correct) phrase above came from one of the Blabberbrats who was commenting on Soilwork’s new video for “20 More Miles.” And y’know what? I’m inclined to agree! Sure, this clip is the kind of slo-mo behind-the-scenes of a tour-type thing we’ve seen a million times before, but it still works, ’cause it’s fuckin’ Soilwork!

Don’t forget that Soilwork’s MetalSucks sponsored tour with Darkane, Swallow the Sun, and, depending on which date you attend, either Daylight Dies or Warbringer, kicks off this Friday. It’s gonna be a helluva time; get complete tour dates at Soilwork’s MySpace page.

-AR

It’s only January 7th but already three ridiculously awesome North American tours are planned for the early part of the year:

Soilwork + Darkane + Swallow the Sun + Daylight Dies (in some markets)

Meshuggah + Cynic + The Faceless

The Haunted + Nachtmystium + Kylesa + Intronaut

Like, woah.

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No, the band didn’t break up; but two days ago marked the shortest day of the year so it’s all uphill from here, baby! This time of year I always get to thinking of bands like Daylight Dies and Swallow the Sun because it’s so fucking dark, cold and depressing all the time. To that end, here’s Daylight Dies’ video for “Lies That Bind,” a MetalSucks-fave by a band that’s from the wintry, isolated, dreary wilderness of… North Carolina.

Catch ‘em on the MetalSucks co-sponsored North American tour this winter with Soilwork, Darkane and — who else — Swallow the Sun.

-VN

Fiftywatthead – Fogcutter: The band’s name aptly described their sound, but the name of this record should actually be Ballcrusher. Giant-sized, Mastodonian stoner metal that invokes equal parts Neurosis low-end and Kharma to Burn riffage, but often veers a bit too jammy / rambly for their own good.

Fiftywatthead – “Fogcutter”

Silencer – Divisions: Modern melodo-Euro-death-thrash; like The Arcane Order or Soilwork’s heaviest through the lens of Mnemic or (sometimes, almost) Meshuggah. Good chops and solid songwriting but lacking in the dynamics department both song-wise and vocal-wise. Nevertheless solid.

Silencer – “betrayal and massacre: an overture to germania”

Both albums:

(three out of five horns)

[View Musings Part 1]

What was already shaping up to be one of the most exciting tours of early 2009 just got even better. The North American jaunt, headlined by Soilwork with support from Darkane and Swallow the Sun, just added North Carolina’s princes of gloomy-death-doom Daylight Dies (read Chris Roddy’s glowing review of Lost to the Living) in place of Warbringer, who were forced to drop off due to recording obligations. It’s not that we don’t like Warbringer — in fact, they’re one of our collective favorite bands of the current re-thrash movement — it’s just that… dude, Daylight fuckin’ Dies!! And Swallow the Sun! On the same bill! Headlined (finally!) by a newly re-Peter Wichers’ed Soilwork!! Dude.

Head exploding. For serious. Full list of tour dates after the jump.

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The chill of fall is in the air but the gossip mill never cools off at the MetalSucks Mansion. This week’s notables and quotables included:

• Original guitarist Peter Wichers returned to Soilwork and ex-At All Cost guitarist Mike Carrigan replaced Kris Norris in Darkest Hour; we rejoiced that great Soilwork music will once again be made and that Mike’s got a job. But the good was tempered by the bad as Christian Alvestam left Scar Symmetry and Spineshank reunited. There is no justice.
• Winds of Plague’s Kristen Randall showed the world her bewbs!
• We reviewed solid new albums by Into Eternity, Enslaved and All Shall Perish, and waxed ecstatic about Burst, Vince’s new proverbial wet dream.
• New videos from The Human Abstract and Amon Amarth are unbelievably epic.
• A scandal erupted involving the audio quality of Death Magnetic, alternate Guitar Hero mixes, and the now infamous “Better, Shorter, Cut” abridged edition.
• Vince & Axl [almost] reveal their true identities.

See ya next week.