FOUR GUITAR ALBUMS FOR THE EAR HORNY
With the occasional exception, guitar solo albums are basically ear porn. I mean, a feature film depends on things like narrative coherence and visual aesthetics, but porn consists merely of all-star fuck machines slamming junk. So the comparison to guitar mega-wankery is obvious: To dispense with the frills (lyrics, vocals) and just get to the acrobatics magnifies one aspect of music to veiny, cartoonish proportions. Shit, have you ever made it to the end of a guitar album? Have you ever sat down with some popcorn and enjoyed 50 straight minutes of dimly-lit shag videos? For non-weirdos, each answer probably is a firm no.
That’s why it’s so fucknuts when a shred album works. But it has happened. Cuz to some guitar records, there’s a message despite the absence of a vocalist; others succeed by sheer momentum and irresistible, awe-striking displays of skill; and at least one guitar instrumental album is a staggering work of narrative art every bit as epic as the greatest conventional rock record. Great guitar albums are hard to find; according to our own analogy above, the creation of one is as unlikely as an Oscar win for All Tit-Fucking Vol. 8. But defying the odds and deserving a spot in every music library are the following awesome axgasms:
