From Craigslist Boston:

metal band seeks manager/promoter. (Nashua NH.)

Hello and thanks for the interest. i will try to keep this brief. I currently reside in three bands at this time. all three are in need of heavy promotion. i am not paying cash to have this done. i will be paying in international award winning tattoo ink. i am a professional tattooist/illustrator of 18 years. i run a very successful tattoo shop in downtown Nashua Nh called the TaTToomB. . for every public acknowledgement of the bands material, you will receive 50 to 100 dollars in tattooing. let me break this down. if we receive a good review from a respected source, and it is due to your efforts towards the bands publicity, you will receive one half hour in my chair. a 50.00 dollar value. you would earn this by mailing our c.d.’s out and doing online promotions for us. reviews will add up quickly and you will have a lot of tattoo time acquired. interviews with the band will pay more. label interest will pay you more. mainly we seek a good promoter. visit www.thetattoomb.com for samples of my work. this is a barter/trade service. between me and you. the rest of the band owes nothing. if you are looking for top quality safe and sterile tattoo work, you cant do better then this. e-mail if interested. my efforts will meet yours. thanks.

This ad pretty much makes fun of itself, but please note well:

• thanks for doing us a favor by keeping things “brief”
• international award-winning
• 18 years experience = being in a band is for losers, scientific proof
• “downtown” Nashua! this guy’s legit.

So… someone owes me $50 of tattoo time, nahmean?

-VN

As you all know, metalheads are a tattooed bunch. Especially since the year 2000, it seems like becoming heavily tattooed has become the norm rather than the exception. So when I saw this Sailor Jerry contest looking for aspiring female models who are tattooed, I got to thinking — has it really gotten to the point where so many folks are tattooed that it’s totally feasible to run a big contest like this? And then I got to thinking… are tattoos even considered cool anymore? If so many people have them, are they really the badge of originality they purport to be? Lord knows, all those C-tier metalcore and deathcore bands with tattoos from head to toe are gonna hella regret that shit years down the road when they’re all faded and their skin is all saggy and nasty.

So, what do you think? Are tattoos cool or are they lame?

n

Last week’s Worst Tattoo Ever of the Day post — in which some sucker drew with crayons tattooed his back with logos of ’80s hair metal bands from the most popular all the way down to Tora Tora — seems to have struck a nerve. The post elicited a healthy number of comments while being spread on the Interwebs via Twitter and Facebook. Whether people were laughing at this poor chap or laughing with him really matters not — regardless of whether your skin is virgin clean or you’ve got a few bad tattoos yourself, this shit’s kinda funny, right?

MS Maniac Ryan F. sent in a photo of a bad tattoo of his own doing, pictured above. Explains Ryan: “I bought a tattoo gun online for about 50 bucks and my friends and I used to get wasted and tattoo each other. I decided one night to get ‘What Would Phil Anselmo Do?’ down my leg.” I can see Ryan explaining this one when his grandkids ask, “Grandpa, who’s Phil Anselmo?” “Well, Phil Anselmo sang for this metal band and sometimes ranted and raved about white pride… err, um, nevermind.”

This is fun. I could see it becoming a regular series. Got a funny/bad/embarrassing metal tatoo? Send ‘em in to news [at] metalsucks [dot] net, or better yet post ‘em in the comments for all to see/laugh/excoriate.

-VN

[From Metal Injection]

-VN