When I was in the tenth grade, back in 1997, someone in my school’s administration decided to lump me in with the 30 or so fuck-ups, or, sorry, “at-risk” group of kids. My grades weren’t terrible, and I didn’t really get into trouble or use drugs that much. However, I did wear shirts from bands like Cannibal Corpse and Anal Cunt just about every day, so I suppose they were justified in thinking that I had emotional problems. I never complained though, because once a week I got to skip class and go to some special room with my fellow flunkies and have what I can only assume is the equivalent to an AA meeting. It was interesting to hear these kids talk about smoking crack, the pleasures of meth, and beating people up over bad weed deals. I don’t think I ever had what it takes to lose myself to substance abuse, but if I did, I’m sure this helped me stay on a positive course. Sometimes we’d have guest speakers come in to these meetings. There are two that I remember most vividly. One being Robert Downey Jr., who was presumably there as part of some community service he had to do. The other was some woman who had a lengthy discussion with us on how marijuana will never be legalized in our lifetime.

That woman is either dead or choking on her own foot now, because in November, California will be voting on proposition 19. If passed, it will legalize marijuana for recreational use in our state.

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“Why would you do a Raddest Teeth In Metal list? I mean, who thinks about that stuff? Isn’t this kind of lame?”

Yes it is! Let’s do this! [Perhaps our article on Ben Falgoust's chompers subliminally inspired him. -Ed.]

5th place – The douchebag singer from that vampire band

I’m almost ashamed to admit that this guy was the inspiration for this blog entry (and I won’t even give them the extra google search result by printing his or his band’s name here), but will you just look at those pearly whites? Before mommy and daddy bought him his first rackmount auto-tune processor and showered him with enough love and self-confidence to make such embarrassing music, they must have spent a fortune on braces and regular dental visits. At least he might make up for his band’s crimes against humanity’s eardrums by promoting good dental hygiene to the 5th graders who make up his fanbase.

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Hey all, its been a while since I’ve updated this blog. We’ve been super busy over the past few months, most recently with the tour we just finished with Mastodon and Kylesa. This was without a doubt one of the most awesome tours we have ever been a part of. I’d like to publicly thank everyone in Mastodon and their crew for going out of their way to be helpful and make us feel welcome. It’s nice to see that all the success hasn’t jaded you guys. It was also a pleasure to meet and bro down with Kylesa for five weeks. I hope we can all do this again some time.

Here are some highlights:

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Quite often, in interviews or just in conversation with random people, I am asked about my marijuana consumption. Imagine some nerdy Canadian metal journalist dude over the phone, going (read with accent) “DUDE, how much WEED did you smoke during the writing process for that record?” I get seriously annoyed by this, as I think it’s really immature to assume that pot has some magical power that actually writes the music for you. It reminds me of being 16 or 17, getting together at band practice, and someone coming up with the idea to “get really high and just jam” with the tape recorder running. 100% of the time, the result was a droney mess consisting of boring, meterless drum beats, monotonous “singing”, and one guitar playing an open E with a flange pedal left on at full blast. I just want to grab these people, throw them against a wall, hold them by their throats, and scornfully inform them that drugs are stupid, they themselves are stupid, and that it takes actual skill and thought to write interesting music.

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