We can’t believe that this is really happening. To paraphrase John McClane in Die Hard 2, “How can the same shit happen to the same band twice?”

More than two years ago, Winds of Plague’s then-keyboardist, Kristen Randall, took a picture of herself topless — and the picture subsequently found its way onto the internet (you can see it here). Since then, Randall has been replaced not once but twice with different young ladies, presumably because WOP need an attractive woman in the band at all times, lest their fans notice the band’s lack of talent.  The gimmick has gotten so silly that following the announcement of Randall’s latest successor, Alana Potocnik (formerly of The Breathing Process and Abigail Williams) was announced, Vince joked that maybe someday she’d have leaked nudie pics, too.

Well, guess what? Now she does. They were apparently first posted at Is Anyone Up, but were sent to us by an anonymous reader. And because we’re mental midgets who still find both female and male nudity hilarious  (don’t forget that we’ve posted pics of Rose Funeral’s Dusty Boles thrusty pole and Lars’ little Ulrich, too) we find them amusing. Needless to say, they’re NSFW.

There are three pics, but only one of them displays Ms. Potocnik’s face, so the other two could be fakes, but, uh, maybe not. In any case, we’re starting to wonder if Potocnik and Winds of Plague are doing this on-purpose; it’s just too big a coincidence that the female members of Winds of Plague keep enduring the same scandal. ‘Cause if they’re not doing it for the publicity, then, uh, well, that’s just sad.

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Before we get to today’s regionally-themed “Reader’s Choice,” I’d like to set three quick ground rules for this thing moving forward, since some of you don’t seem to think so good:

• Leaving a comment saying “Hey, do this city!” ain’t gonna do nuthin’. You need to send me an e-mail with your suggestions. Sorry.
• That e-mail should include LINKS TO WHERE WE CAN HEAR THE BANDS. I can’t believe we still have to say this. We’re not gonna google these bands just ’cause you said so. LINKS, PEOPLE, LINKS.
• That e-mail should be relatively polite. If you say “I can’t believe you did this town and not that town” or “I can’t believe you included those local bands but not those local bands,” guess what? I have no choice but to assume you’re dumb. ‘Cause this is “Reader’s Choice.” The band’s are — you guessed it! — selected by readers. If you didn’t e-mail me about your town or about particular bands, well, what were you expecting? That I would just happen to be familiar with every local scene in the world? That’s just not feasible; people send us so much shit that I could probably listen to twenty bands I’ve never heard of every day and STILL be behind. So chill.

Now that I’ve gotten that outta my system, let’s check out some Connecticut bands recommended by the reader known as “needly needly doo,” shall we?

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I haven’t been able to shake this cold, and so I’ve actually been playing a lot of on-line Scrabble with a friend this week (because I’m just that cool). It would be really hard to play Scrabble at a metal show, though, not least of all because so many metal d00dz can’t spell.

When we weren’t beating this whole Uno debacle to death like it had just heckled us, here’s what was happening in the world of metal:

• We streamed Mutiny Within’s self-titled debut album, and premiered a track by Dallas Coyle’s new project, Genetic.
• God Forbid’s Doc Coyle defended mainstream metal, As I Lay Dying’s Nick Hipa discussed the cliffside cave list on L O S T, and, yeah, Intronaut’s Sacha Dunable and Daath’s Eyal Levi each weighed-in on a certain incident involving a certain card game.
• Each of the MetalSucks writers endorsed a finalist for the Scion No Label Needed Contest.
• We checked out new albums by The Breathing Process, Hayaino Daisuki, and Bane and Rhinoceros.
• We debated the morality of a label head posting a link to an album leak.
• We are woman, hear us roar.
• We looked at Mike Patton’s penis, and are now increasingly happy our shrink is coming back from vacation next week.
• Our homeboy Corey Mitchell is co-authoring Phil Anselmo’s autobiography!

Okay. Back to Scrabble! See ya Monday. Stay warm.

-AR

Ask almost anyone in the last ten years, and they’ll make a case of how the album is dead. Starting with Napster and moving up to our current state — where music purchased legally or illegally is generally cherrypicked instead of being taken as a part of a greater whole — the album been significantly devalued to the point where, to most, it’s just a hodgepodge of files with some cover art. But this doesn’t mean the form itself — a collection of songs strewn together by, at the very least, a collective mood if not an overall theme — is necessarily a thing of the past. When given an record to review, I still view it as an album: does it have a good flow, do the songs belong together, do I get bored by the end of it or does it just stop to leave the listener underwhelmed? If you’re going to put out a CD, it should still be able to provide an overall experience without having to break down how good each individual song was one-by-one. If that’s the sort of thing you’re looking for, you most likely shouldn’t be reading album reviews, but instruction manuals, Cliffs Notes, or… well, user reviews on Encyclopedia Metallum.

All that being said, I don’t think a proper perspective of how The Breathing Process’ latest album, Odyssey (un)Dead, goes from promising blackened death metal excursion to sub-Bleeding Through gothic metalcore shitshow can be properly expressed in any way other than semi-chronologically. Like a good album, yes, it provides a journey; unlike a good album, it’s not, as a whole, remotely any good.

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I think it’s safe to say that Full Blow Chaos front man Ray Mazzola is the funniest interview subject we’ve ever had. If you’ve read the interview, you know these dudes get into some crazy, crazy The Dirt-style shit when they’re on tour.

So it’s just been announced that they’ll be hitting the road again in July, first to do a string of headlining gigs with The Breathing Process and Sons of Azrael, then to do some shows with science fiction lovers/pure misanthropes Shai Hulud. You should really, really make an effort to go to one of these shows and buy Ray and company a drink or twelve. If you’re nice to them, I’ll bet they’ll let you co-indulge in whatever shenanigans they get up to. And there will be shenanigans.

Just leave your girlfriend/sister/mother/whatever at home. It would be a shame to see anyone you really care about get a bottle shoved up any place that is extremely uncomfortable… like the back of a Volkswagen.

After the jump, get FBC’s complete tour itinerary.

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