MetalSucks

This guy’s actually not terrible. I mean, he’s not great, and his choice of songs to cover is extremely questionable, but the guy’s low growls are pretty good.

For all the shit we give people who post vocal covers on YouTube — and some them of them are downright awful jokes obviously posted in self-parody while some of them just plain blow — the majority of them are just kids honest-to-goodness trying to express themselves. And the coolest part is that [some] people actually offer legit criticism in the YouTube comments. Like in this video and another one by the same dude, people tend to agree that his low growls are good but his high growls need work. It’s neat to see some positive reinforcement on the Internet from time to time. I’ll bet this kid goes and practices his high growls and improves them greatly in the coming months… and who knows, some day he might front a great metal band. Even if he never goes any farther than covering August Burns Red and The Devil Wears Prada, it stands to reason that some percentage of kids doing these YouTube covers will go on to be members of popular metal bands. It’s scary, but true.

-VN

[Thanks: Patrick Greene]

The below video is a collection of the “Best Keyboard/Synthesizer Breakdowns of All Time.” I saw it today on Sergeant D’s Stuff You Will Hate, which is certainly living up to its name. Because, y’know, I always thought “Gee, totally generic breakdowns could really use some irritating keyboards.”

A couple of good groups, like Horse the Band and Veil of Maya, seem to have snuck their way onto the list, but by and large, this stuff is just as terrible as you’d think. And let’s all thank the guy who made this for not even being able to come up with ten different bands to include – Born of Osiris and HTB are both on here twice.

Also, does The Devil Wears Prada really have a song called “Dogs Can Grow Beards All Over?” ‘Cause that would be an adorable sentiment coming from a three year old. A Christian metalcore band, not so much.

-AR

We’ve worked pretty hard to achieve our title of the “Most Negative Site in Metal.” And we’re proud of that title. We’ve earned it, damn it.

So we’re jealous that those fuckers at The Deciblog, and not us, thought of this brilliant idea:

THE DECIBLOG SCREAMO COVER ELIMINATION BRACKET.

Luckily, they invited us to participate.

Here’s the description of how it’s gonna work:

Click to read more…

Last week was somewhat of a slow one for metal record sales. There weren’t a whole lot of new releases, but a few records that have been out for a while hung onto their spots in the Top 200 and Hank III’s Assjack project had a solid debut. Click through for chart positions and sales numbers.

Click to read more…

When I left the bar on the relatively early side last night to get back to the Mansion and walk Sacha the Death Metal Puppy (one task the MetalSucks Mansion Monkeys can’t seem to master no matter how I berate them: picking up dog poop without flinging it at someone), Anton OyVey was proving that Jews really do love bacon by keeping one of the shiksas from Reign in Blonde pinned down in the corner (I think it was the, uh, blonde one), Frank Godla from Metal Injection was tolerating a conversation with some dude whose entire argument for why The Devil Wears Prada are a good band was based on how many records they’ve sold (by which standard I guess Transformers: Everyone Done Know Sambots Don’t Do Much Readin’ is the greatest achievement in the history of cinema), and I think Vince was actually dancing. Dancing.

Then at about 5 am this morning I had a serious John Hughes moment when I was dreaming that a cute girl was licking my ear, only to awaken and discover that it was, in fact, Sacha, trying to entice me into a game of fetch with his favorite stuffed animal, or, at least, the limb of his favorite stuffed animal (said toy was torn apart recently during a particularly rowdy listening session in which Sacha took the band name “Dissection” to heart). ‘Cause, y’know, fuck sleep.

What was my point? Oh yeah. This:

-AR

This week in Soundscan, supergroup Chickenfoot shifted a ridiculous number of records. I’m baffled too. Elsewhere, Iron Maiden had a solid debut and bands like Nickelback, Hollywood Undead, Shinedown, Slipknot, and Metallica continued on with business as usual.

Click to read more…

It’s Friday, and it’s nice out. I’ma go have a whiskey. Booze and drugs make you look cool and get lots of pussy… it’s true.

Here’s what happened this week that made us batty enough to turn to the dark side:

• We got sick of metal bands doing ironic pop cover songs just in time for a metal band to do another terrible pop cover song.
• We spoke with Barney Greenway of Napalm Death, Chris Arp of Psyopus and Karl Sanders of Nile.
• We were Gay for Gojira and Crazy for The Chariot.
• The Devil Wears Prada: way too popular.
• We looked at new records from Black Math Horseman, Agoraphobic Nosebleed, as well as a new track from Suicide Silence and a new track from Dream Theater.
• xAxlRosenbergx got all anti-straight edge on your asses.

See you next week. Don’t get too stoned tomorrow with yer Uncle Kip.

-VN

There is something wrong with a world in which a generic Christian-core / haircut-core / breakdown-core band can sell more records first week than a truly talented group like Chimaira. Apparently The Devil Wears Prada’s new album With Roots Above and Branches Below is on pace to sell between 25k and 30k first-week and a press release tells us the band is #2 on iTunes. Can I get a rousing round of “What the fuck???” from the MetalSucks Haterati??

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?

Chew on that as you sip your morning coffee and contemplate where the fuck you went wrong in life.

-VN