MetalSucks

Vince is in Kentucky scouting land for a SECOND MetalSucks Mansion and against the advice of Gary Suarez and my own instincts, I’m off to see Terminator Salvation. We shan’t be posting Monday ’cause it’s Memorial Day, but we’ll be back Tuesday. In the meantime, here’s some shit that happened this week:

• We did a video interview with IWRESTLEDABEARONCE! We also spoke with The Haunted’s Peter Dolving, God Forbid’s Doc Coyle, and Unholy.
• We stole Daath’s Eyal Levi away from Headbanger’s Blog.
• Sigh’s Mirai Kawashima graced us with another totally excellent studio blog.
• Corey Mitchell says this is the best album of the year so far.
• Fuckface Durst finally went too far.

As Baz would say, “I’ll be Bach.”

-AR

I should’ve known that my interview with The Haunted’s Peter Dolving would come off as more of an armchair philosophy session than a by-the-numbers band interview. But that’s where I was hoping the interview would go, and that’s where it went. Dolving is your atypical metal frontman, as anyone who reads his blogs on the regular should be able to infer. Dolving was thoughtful, measured and articulate in his thought, pausing frequently to make sure the words he uttered carried the meaning he intended, and was anything but the macho metal man you might expect if your only exposure was seeing him perform on stage with The Haunted.

Dolving sure had a lot to say. He spoke about why touring musicians are inherently dysfunctional, what he did while the brothers Bjorler toured with the reunited At the Gates (”Cried a lot… I really did spend a lot of time last summer in a little crawled up package whimpering with a lot of snot involved.”), what it was like for him to go through therapy, what he hopes to accomplish via his controversial writing, the interactive nature of the Internet and how that affects communication, the haters on Blabbermouth (”… there is so much ignorance involved in the internet community.”), and the difference between having knowledge and being smart. Like I said, a philosophy session.

I’d eaten a “special” cookie a couple of hours before the interview that took a while to kick in, and I was kind of worried I wouldn’t be able to hold it together… but I think I pulled it off. This was the interview I was most looking forward to at the festival, and I’m quite happy with the results. Read our whole chat, after the jump.

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Seriously. Ever since Metal Hammer gave us that Web of Death thing, I’ve been knee-deep in pussy. Incredible. It’s amazing that I’m even able to type right now, I’m so worn out. And that’s why you start a website. For the groupies.

Which brings me to my next point: now that we’re famous, we don’t want to be friends with you anymore. Don’t take it personally, we just prefer to rub elbows with other fabulous, famous people. You were great on the way up, but now? Fuck you. M’kay?

Here’s what else went down this week:

• We spoke with Lacuna Coil’s Christina Scabbia, and managed to get through it without embarrassing ourselves too badly.
• Sigh’s Mirai Kawashima wrote another awesome guest blog from the studio, begging the question: is Dr. Mikannibal’s diet hot or not?
• The Haunted’s Peter Dolving lashed out against Lamb of God; you lashed out against Peter Dolving.
• NEW CONVERGE SONGS! NEW CONVERGE SONGS! NEW CONVERGE SONGS!
• Someone actually played IWRESTLEDABEARONCE’S “Tastes like Kevin Bacon” for Kevin fucking Bacon.
• How many Andrew WKs are there, anyway?

Alright. I’ve got like ten girls clawing at me right now, beckoning me back to bed. I’ll see you Monday, if they’ll give me a rest, already.

-AR

Dallas may be laying off the haterade as of late, but thankfully Peter Dolving is always there in a pinch to take a big, giant swig of the Internet’s favorite, venomous beverage. In his latest rant sent to us in a press release, The Haunted frontman tells you why you should come see his band on their MetalSucks-sponsored North American tour (also featuring Merauder and The Agonist), and takes a swipe at Lamb of God as being part of the big, bad, generic, corporate metal machine:

Seriously folks. You could go out and see any of a number of bands in the next four weeks. What you’ll receive will of course be generic deliverance of generic metalcore by the numbers and certainly you won’t be more than slightly disappointed. The big one this time around out there being the Lamb Of God tour. Which will according to business-planned management crawl itself around the North Americas for the next year and a half or so like a big snake. You could dig that shit and think ‘Holy mutherfucking hell! That shit rocks!’ or you could go and see the Haunted once and for all prove what metal is all about. But only if you want to have a good time. Only if you want to feel alive. Only if you like that feeling of actually realizing everything is not fucked utterly and beyond belief. But I guess if you are a sad, self-pitying son of a bitch you won’t go. Oh what the hell, really, don’t go. Most of those who read this don’t really give a shit anyway do you? You’d rather stay in a saline filled tank fed intravenously with a constant intake of whatever, whoever carries the biggest gun and wad of dollars has to say wants to feed you.

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Seriously, does anybody have worse luck than this poor dude? First Nachtmystium weren’t able to complete last year’s tour with Opeth, then they’re kicked off of the free Scion fest for some bullshit about Nazis (which, for the umpteenth time, is NOT TRUE), and now the band has to drop off their upcoming, MetalSucks-sponsored tour with The Haunted because Judd has broken his leg. Says the band:

“Sorry to anyone hoping to see us in April! After this whole bullshit fiasco with the Scion Rock Fest a few weeks back, and now this, it’s been one thing after the other around here. Fear not, we will be back soon enough.”

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By all accounts, the Meshuggah / Cynic / The Faceless tour earlier year was exactly the masturbatory dude-fest it promised to be from the get-go. With a lineup like that, how could it be anything less than completely mindblowing? Before the show I had the opportunity to catch up with Meshuggah guitarist Marten Hagstrom. I asked him about the touring lifestyle, how the band’s sound has evolved and changed over the years, Meshuggah’s now near-legendary cult status, and one question that really got his goat about the hoardes of Swedish melodic death metal bands that have grown to popularity in recent years. Our chat, after the jump.

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Lots and lots of you have e-mailed us this week to ask about the fact that Intronaut and Kylesa have both dropped off The Haunted’s upcoming, MetalSucks-sponsored headlining trek in order to go tour with the almighty Mastodon. And, yeah, it’s bittersweet news at best; we were looking forward to seeing them with The Haunted, but it’s not as though the Atlanta quartet is really any less awesome than our favorite Swedes.

Of course, the always spectacular non-Nazis in Nachtmystium are still doing The Haunted tour, and now the replacement bands for Intronaut and Kylesa have been announced: Merauder and The Agonist.

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Actually I doubt that Scott Smith’s book or the ensuing cinematic adaptation really had much influence on the makers of The Haunted’s new video, “Trenches.” But, I’m sleepy and simple minded today and they’re both about killer plants, so, there ya have it. Deal with it, bitches.

The Haunted are doing an awesome tour later this year with Nachtmystium, Kylesa and Intronaut. While you’re waiting for it to come to your town, don’t forget to check out Haunted frontman Peter Dolving’s guest blogs for MetalSucks here and here.

-AR

It’s only January 7th but already three ridiculously awesome North American tours are planned for the early part of the year:

Soilwork + Darkane + Swallow the Sun + Daylight Dies (in some markets)

Meshuggah + Cynic + The Faceless

The Haunted + Nachtmystium + Kylesa + Intronaut

Like, woah.

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Ever gone to the fridge and, for whatever reason, ended up making yourself a sandwich consisting of several seemingly incompatible food stuffs that, once combined, managed to still somehow end up being totally delicious? C’mon, you know you’ve done it. Maybe it was the middle of the night and you were tired or maybe you were high or maybe you just didn’t have any turkey left like you thought you did, but somehow you ended up with horseradish and peanut butter both ending up on the pumpernickel and mmmm, it turned out pretty good.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the weird sandwich tour of 2009: The Haunted (whose Peter Dolving has blogged for MetalSucks not once but twice) and Intronaut (whose Sacha Dunable is a regular contributor to MetalSucks) will be the fresh baked bread bookending Nachtmystium and Kylesa as the meat.

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This coming Monday the entire MetalSucks staff will each release Top 10 lists for the entire year in metal of 2008. Get psyched! Things have been slowing down here at the MS Mansion as the holidays approach, but we still found ways to keep it fun this week:

• Axl Rose finally did some press to support Chinese Democracy… but as usual, there’s an asterisk.
• We debuted a new, exclusive Daath track — a medley of Cannibal Corpse, Morbid Angel and Dying Fetus covers.
• We interviewed members of Clutch, Bison B.C., Dir En Grey, and Fear Factory / Arkaea.
• Job For a Cowboy’s Jonny Davy blogged about urination and hotel trashing, while Darkest Hour’s Mike Schleibaum’s guest blog claimed that Entombed’s Uprising and Morning Star are two of the most underrated albums of all time. Oh, and The Haunted’s Peter Dolving blogged about sleep.
• Gojira’s Joe Duplantier orders you to stop the killing of baby seals but apparently has no problem with ripping New York City a new arsehole.
• Meshuggah + Cynic + The Faceless = The Erection Tour of 2009.
• The metal industry lost a kindred soul. R.I.P. Adrian Bromley.

[Seems that The Haunted frontman / twisted genius Peter Dolving has gotten wise to his record label's marketing ploys and our hopes/dreams/desires to have him write another blog entry for MetalSucks in one fell swoop; and we couldn't be happier. Enjoy Dolving's latest rant on the world, spirituality... sleep. -Ed.]

Sleep, and stuff I think about…

Do you ever think about the amount of sleep you get? I’ve been starting to pay attention to this stuff lately. Seriously trying to learn more about it and how it affects me. Seems like I’ve been missing out on the basics for pretty much most of my life. Really. As it turns out, sleep and food within approximate regularity actually serve a purpose.

Wow.

Oh, and by the way; I also came to the realization that; I am NOT a machine.

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You guys either reeeeeallly love Mudvayne or you’re a bunch of cheap fucks who want a free guitar; or both. Either way, last week’s photo caption contest was our most popular ever, with 500+ entries and counting. But only one of you will receive the coveted Washburn guitar signed by the members of Mudvayne, and that person is:

David Duran: “How come no one ever comes to my tea parties?”

Congrats, David! This week we’ve got some yet-to-be-determined goodies from The Haunted two prize packages to give away — each containing both a CD and Vinyl copy of the Haunted’s latest, Versus — to the clever chaps who can come up with the funniest captions to the below photo. Good luck!

Just because Blabbermouth doesn’t pick up The Haunted frontman Peter Dolving’s MySpace blog rants anymore doesn’t mean we won’t. So if the guy doesn’t want to blog for MetalSucks (his one-off guest blog excluded), fuck it, we’ll just post ‘em anyway! In his latest blog du jour, Mr. Dolving posts an entire email exchange turned pissing match with an Australian fan (or ex-fan, as it were) named Scott. A simple question quickly devolves into a shit-storm of insults. When it comes to Dolving blogs, this is the way we like ‘em.

As you know we’ve played 4 shows in Australia. The Land Down Under.

Now to me, Oz is the other side of the planet, obviously. And besides the Triffids, Hunters and Collectors, Rupert Murdoch, Rugby and “G’day mate” I am painfully ignorant about this huge continent. As it were, we just had snow back home in Sweden and it being spring/summer(?) in Australia I asked, honestly wondering if there was anyone who had never seen snow. This kid, Scott must have been
waiting for a while to rag on my ass. Here’s the little drama that followed… enjoy

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Live music videos are hit or miss; either they capture the live spirit and energy of the band in all their glory or they come off as cheap, completely sucking the life out of potentially great bands. This week we’ve got three brand new live music vids that run said gamut.

File The Haunted’s new one for “Moronic Colossus” — the first single from their recently released record Versus (read David Bee Roth’s review) — as a big fat win. That The Haunted chose to stick with the live audio rather than laying the studio track on top of live video like most bands do is a testament to how virgin-tight and crushing this band is in the live setting. Big ups!

On the other side of the spectrum we’ve got a live video for “Pray” by King’s X, a good song — and an excellent live band — whose video is a total snoozefest guilty of precisely the pratfalls The Haunted avoided with theirs. Oh well. I still love this band and will go see them pretty much any time they roll through NYC.

Squarely in the middle we’ve got a new one from Suicide Silence which does a stellar job of being completely “meh.” This whole band is meh. I know Axl likes ‘em, but I just don’t see it; what I see is a scenecore/deathcore band who admits to liking Korn. I guess the video does a good job of making these guys look awesome live (footage from this past summer’s Rockstar Mayhem run), but to thee I say: studio audio! Fail.

I suppose you’d actually like to WATCH these videos rather than read my boring analysis of them, eh? Click on through to the other side.

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The Haunted have always offered us, the discerning metal listener, the most reliable fallback we could have hoped for in a post-Slaughter of the Soul world. While some members of that recently reunited band have put their various talents to the fulfillment of crusty grindcore (Skitsystem) or eyeliner goth jams (Dani F.’s Tap-dancing Cadaveret), the Bjorler brothers and co. succeeded in a pedal to the floor, no bullshit approach to heavy metal. They created a group that could both distinguish itself from their previous legacy and still maintain a presence around the world. Twelve years and five albums later, The Haunted have shown beyond any doubt the consistency of their output, both in quality and release schedule.

Now, however, with Versus we, the discerning metal critic, are offered a quake and a fracture in the rock solid foundation that previously seemed unmovable. This autumn offering is unfortunately inconsistent, which is frustrating because it has a lot going for it.

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[This is Part 2 of Norther's tour diary from their first-ever North American tour. Part 1 can be viewed here. Enjoy. -Ed.]

22.09.2008 Quebec, I’ imperial

Our next show was in Quebec. The place was this fantastic looking venue called I’imperial, but when we arrived to the venue, we heard from the local crew that (thanks to our schedule) we were running about 4 hours late. So very quick setup on stage, about 10 minute sound check and off to give room for the local support to play. It was a very big stage, so support band could set their gear up easily and we wouldn’t have to move anything. We tried to delay the doors to have some more time for sound-checking, but it couldn’t be done for some reason. This later bit us in the ass..

When Nefastus Dies goes on stage, we start our “backstage rituals” (More to come from these). Usually Pete entertains everyone with a bunch of crappy hard rock or death metal riffs that always end in crazy ass laughter. :) if that isn’t happening, we’re listening to good music to get the mood going. Artists like September, The Haunted, Slayer, Fun Lovin’ Criminals or others that get us all in good mood is a must before the show. :)

Anyways, show time. We rushed to the stage to kick off with “My Antichrist” followed by “Down.” One, Two, Three, Four… CHAOS… This would be the exact description of unleashing hell. Everything was totally fucked, instantly.

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While we were busy paying homage to the world’s biggest metal band yesterday, turns out some other kind of important stuff actually happened too. Who’d've thunk it?

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That’s actually a really misleading headline – I mean, we love The Haunted here at MetalSucks, and we’ve heard their new album, Versus, and it’s fucking great. Seriously. I’m sure we’ll do a full review at some point or another, but in the meantime, you should know that Versus is fucking great.

You can get your first taste of Versus by heading over to The Haunted’s MySpace page, where they’re currently streaming the new song “Moronic Colossus” (hence my stoopid headline). Don’t let the ho-hum cover art fool you: the song is worth your time, we promise.

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Ponder the Freudian nature of Metallica’s new album artwork as you grill hot dogs this weekend. I know I will. Here are the key headlines from the week:

• Very old Italian friar fronts a metal band, makes most of today’s scene kids look like pussies.
• Metallica released the album artwork for Death Magnetic, which in fact does look just like a hairy old vagina.
• Whitechapel’s new record scanned over 5,000 units in its first week of release… zuh??
• We launched a new mini site-redesign. (BIG ups to our pals at Metal Injection for their help!)
• Tommy Vext and Dino Cazares scuffle backstage at a show; Dino’s wife gets caught in the crossfire and receives some wicked bruises.
• The Haunted’s Peter Dolving blogs for MetalSucks.
• Jucifer gets booted from the stage at a Brooklyn show.
• Snot get back together, hiring Tommy Vext to fill the shoes of the late Lynn Strait. No word about who will fill the shoes of Lynn Strait’s dog.