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As you may be aware, MetalSucks recently invited  musicians from across the vast spectrum of the metalsphere to tell us what their favorite albums of 2011 have been. But the always-unique Eugene S. Robinson of Oxbow fame turned in a list of a somewhat different nature. The silver lining is, his list is so great that we opted to run it anyway! And so please enjoy Mr. Robinson’s list of “Top Ten Records for Making Everybody in the Room Uncomfortable…”

10. Sylvia, Pillow Talk – Sure, she started Sugarhill Records, which was on the map for giving birth to what Morrissey (more on him later) would call “pop thuggery” in the form of hip hop, and sure, she just died, but nothing says “douche chills” like her making fuck noises on this record. For like twenty minutes. Complete with baby talk and the lyric, “What I’m teaching you tonight, boy, you never learned in school.” In fact, any song with fuck noises in it gets on this list. Think I’m a prude? Try playing this shit when your mom’s around. Also, why does heavy metal, outside of Black Flag’s Slip It In, have so little simulated sex going on in it?

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Josh Homme’s favorite band, the ever-defiant and unabashedly offensive Dwarves, needs no introduction to any of you awkward overgrown boys who stood gawking and giggling in the local Sam Goody at their album covers as even more immature adolescents. Fronted by miscreant Blag Dahlia, the group made itself known as much for its brash punk rock tunes as for intentionally, sacrilegiously tasteless artwork that could be considered pornographic to a hapless Palin-esque puritan. After a retrospectively hilarious Beatles-referencing stunt of “killing off” exhibitionism prone guitarist HeWhoCannotBeNamed, the band was evicted from the unamused Sub Pop and ultimately found a new home a few years later on Epitaph. Despite not having released a new album since 2004, the Dwarves carry on with live assaults for their rabid fans.

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Without Tesco Vee, Touch & Go would not exist. Without Touch & Go, we might never have heard Big Black and Scratch Acid, nor their antecedents Shellac and The Jesus Lizard. So for that alone we should all give thanks and praise to him. Then, of course, there’s The Meatmen, which remains his gas-guzzling off road vehicle for obnoxious, offensive, and olfactory sounds, as evident as ever on this year’s self-released Pope On A Rope. Fresh off a decade-long hiatus and reignited ’cause it feels so good, Tesco’s act has got a few shows lined up next week in Philadelphia, New York City, and Cambridge/Boston, and Satan willing he’ll have a whole mess of merchandise and CDs in tow. Perhaps the new DVD The Devil’s In The Details Volume 1, full of footage and filth from the last 28 years, might be available too! Go on, East Coasters, and treat yourself to meat. But for now, feast your eyes on this recent live footage replete with classic Tesco banter.

-GS