Lotsa folks entered our Photo Caption Contest last week in which we gave away five t-shirts left over from our inaugural Metal Suckfest. I admit, that photo (at right) is a particularly good one, and fittingly we got a lot of funny captions. Here are my five favorites:

• Dan Braden: “So, who else is excited about that boat sacrifice later? Guys?… what?”
• Sean: “And ‘most smashable’ at the Wormrot show goes to…”
• Buster Keaton: “America’s Goat Talent.”
• SchenkelTown: “To be fair, I pretty much always have my horns up.”
• Crank: “EWEHATEGOD”

This week we’re giving away another five Suckfest t-shirts! These things are seriously sweet — check out this photo. So get crackin’: leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below (sent in by reader “Awesome Bill from Dawsonville”). Remember to use a real email address (or post it along with your comment if you’re logged in with your Facebook or Twitter account).

Last week we offered up two MetalSucks hoodies to whoever could come up with the funniest caption to the photo at right. It is most definitely still really fucking cold here in the Northeast (and cold enough in most of the U.S.), so these two folks will get good use out of their hoodies before spring comes along:

• Rise95: “I wish I could win a hoodie in an Internet contest.”
• Sacajewea: “Cold Man’s Child.”

Nice work, fellas. While rooting around at the Axl Annex of the MS Mansion the other day we came upon a box of shirts left over from the inaugural Metal Suckfest this past November. These shirts are really sweet, and there are only a few left — check out a photo of the front right here — and they’re super-limited edition, previously only available at the fest itself. These shirts and all the festival artwork were design by Mr. Vertebrae 33 himself, Rodney Githens. We’ve got FIVE to give away. So do it to it: leave a comment with the funniest caption to the photo below (sent in by reader CF Santos). Remember to use a real email address (or post it along with your comment if you’re using FB Connect / Twitter etc).

So, hey, I dunno if you guys heard, but earlier this month we put on this totally rad festival, The Metal Suckfest? No big deal, it was just twenty awesome bands in two days, whatever.

So ANYWAY, our brahs over at Metal Injection were there to film another edition of their awesome “Ask the Artist” series, in which they — duhskis! – ask a variety of artists one particular question… in this case, “What sucks about metal?” Check out the answers from the bands that played The Metal Suckfest — plus a couple of incredibly handsome non-musicians (cough, Vince and I, cough, cough) below:

And don’t forget that you can check out more awesome installments of “Ask the Artist” right here. DO IT!!!

-AR

Maybe we shoulda called it MetaSucks?

ANYWAY, here’s some shit we did this week:

• The Austerity Program’s Justin Foley responded to Dr. Katrina McFerran’s study on teens, depression, and music. Then Dr. McFerran responded to Justin’s response. Then Justin responded to McFerran’s response to his response. Then I went permanently cross-eyed.
• We debuted new music by Keith Merrow’s Demisery.
• We spoke to Corey Lowery from Dark New Day and Eye Empire.
• We checked out the latest release from Astomatous and H20, Ringworm, Mindsnare, and Soul Search.
• We showed you some nice photos from both Day 1 and Day 2 of The Metal Suckfest.
• We counted down The Seven Most Metal Video Games Ever Made.
• We were bummed to learn that guitarists Rob Arnold and Matt DeVries are leaving Chimaira at the end of the year.
• We were even more bummed to see Chris Barnes shilling for used cars.
• We argued about the best metal albums of the 90s.
• We found something even worse than Lulu: LIVE Lulu.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I haven’t gotten blackout drunk in a week.

-AR

We had a blast at The Metal Suckfest in NYC last weekend, but don’t worry if you couldn’t make it; earlier this week we shared Justina Villanueva’s photos from Night 1 (featuring Municipal Waste, God Forbid, Today is the Day and more) and today we’ve got Mariel “Tormentia” Pietrykoski’s photos from Night 2. After the jump, relive all the glorious metal brought down upon us by Cynic, Obscura, The Red Chord, 3, A Life Once Lost, Scale the Summit, Last Chance to Reason, Fight Amp, Rosetta and Ultrageist on Night 2.

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So, uh, hey, did we happen to mention that The Metal Suckfest took place this past weekend at the Gramercy Theatre here in New York? Well… it did! And we had an awesome time. Twenty incredible bands all kicked our asses and shredded our reproductive organs; we are truly exhausted, and can’t wait to do it again.

In case ya weren’t able to attend, our friend Justina Villanueva was there to capture all the action. After the jump, check out some killer photos of Municipal Waste, God Forbid, Today is the Day, This is Hell, Howl, Black Tusk, Magrudergrind, All Pigs Must Die, and Ramming Speed. We’ll have some more great pics from night two of the fest later this week!

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If you live anywhere near New York Fucking City and you have half a brain in that ugly domepiece you call a head, you probably went to Day One of the inaugural Metal Suckfest at the Gramercy Theater yesterday.  And what a time it was…..we drank, we smoked, we rocked, we rolled, we laughed, we cried, we made sweet sweet love under the moonlight and then you puked all over me (gross!)……but holy bajeezus it was totally worth it huh?

Well TODAY is going to be even better!!!!!  Why/how, you ask??  1) the staff of MetalBlows will be raffling off hummers (not the cars), 2) ten radical bands (including Cynic, The Red Chord, Obscura, Fight Amp, and SIX MORE) will fuck your face right off, 3) I promise to keep that creepy guy from Metal Injection away from you, 4) free lapdances, 5) there’s a rumor going around that Lake Bukkake will play a secret set in the downstairs bar, 6) Axl will tell you all sorts of wise things about things, and 7) YOU SUCK.

Come party with us tonight, and be prepared to get a little messy……they don’t call it Suckfest for nothing!

-KW

Normally we’d do a “Worst Week Ever” column here, where we run down the week’s top stories. But we can’t today, because literally, right this second, as this was published, the doors opened for this:

And the first band starts in thirty minutes.

So! For the last time: IF YOU LIVE IN THE TRI-STATE AREA, COME TO THE METAL SUCKFEST! Tickets are here, or, of course, you can just walk up to the box office. It’s going to be so awesome, there are truly no words. See ya there!

And everyone else… see ya Monday. Have fun missing the party of the year, Suckas!

The official Metal Suckfest pre-game was a smash last night, with Mayhem, Keep of Kalessin, Hate, Abigail Williams and Woe ripping the Gramercy Theatre’s arseholes like they’ve never been ripped before. Tonight we ratchet up the tension with the fest’s first official night; there’s still time to buy tickets here or at the door of the show. Doors are at 5pm and the first of 10 bands goes on at 5:30, so get there early!

But the fun doesn’t end when the fat lady sings (which in this case, I guess, is Municipal Waste)! After the show we’ll be partying with the bands from Suckfest at Brooklyn’s best metal bar, the legendary DUFF’s, just under the Williamsburg Bridge on the Brooklyn side. Come and booze it up with us into the wee hours of Saturday morning with metal rocking on the jukebox all night long.

And then, Saturday night, after Cynic cap the fest’s second day, we’ll be doing it all over again at our favorite “Bourbon, Beer, Rock” standby Idle Hands Bar on Avenue B and 2nd St in Manhattan. It’s only a $7 cab ride from the Gramercy, AND EVERYONE WITH A METAL SUCKFEST TICKET STUB GETS A FREE SHOT OF WHISKEY! (assuming you’re over 21… duh), so you’ve really got no excuse not to pile into a cab with your buddies and head on down. Idle Hands’ selection of bourboun and beer is aces — make sure you enjoy it.

See you tonight!

Yes, it’s true, and yes, it’s a total bummer. Legendary NYC underground pornogrinders have cancelled their appearance for Day One of The Metal Suckfest tomorrow. It would have been their first show since 2001.

The cause, apparently, is this: the band HATES attention. We’ve had readers asking why their albums aren’t online, why they have no website, etc. And that’s the reason. Lake Bukkake might be the only band in history that DOESN’T want to be famous.

And suddenly they were gonna play Suckfest, and they were getting all this attention. And, basically, they freaked. So they were gonna play in front of a crowd about seven times larger than any crowd they’ve ever played for before? With all this press, ranging from Metal Injection to Brooklyn Vegan to Metal Insider to Time Out New York, present and snapping photos?

They couldn’t handle it. They called us this morning and said they were out. Vince and Axl literally spent all afternoon on the phone with them trying to convince them to play the show, but to no avail.

No one is more heart-broken than we are. But the good news is that every other band previously scheduled to play The Metal Suckfest is STILL going to rock your face. So if Lake Bukkake don’t wanna be there, well… their loss.

Tickets to both days of The Metal Suckfest are just $25 until 10 pm tonight, even if you buy them online — there are NO service fees. Buy tickets here.

And see ya tomorrow!!!

Hell yeah! Yesterday’s sale on discounted tickets to The Metal Suckfest was such a success, we’re keepin’ it going! That means you can still buy tickets for just $25 — down from the original $30, and COMPLETELY FREE OF SERVICE CHARGES, EVEN IF YOU BUY TICKETS ONLINE –until 10 pm tonight! If you haven’t already, you should absolutely take advantage of this deal, because it means you’ll actually pay five dollars less than if you bought tickets at the door. So what are you waiting for? GO BUY TICKETS NOW! To cash in your discount, select the number of tickets you want from the “Discount Offer” menu after selecting the same amount in the “Full Price Ticket” menu.

We also know that some people who bought tickets before the sale feel, well, ripped-off — and, hey, we totally understand. And so, to make it up to those people, if you bought your ticket BEFORE the sale, we’re offering you $10 off any MetalSucks merch, including a sweet, sweet-ass, limited edition foil version of The Metal Suckfest poster (above) that was designed by our friend Rodney Githens from Vertebrae 33 and Metal Band Art. (This offer does not apply merch from the bands — sorry, that’s not our decision to make!) So hopefully you can go home with some cool shit at a way lower-than-usual price, and feel like your Uncle Axl and Uncle Vince still took good care of ya.

See you all on Friday! WE ARE SO FUCKING STOKED!!!!!!!

-Axl & Vince

The Metal Suckfest is this weekend!!! And in case you’re not familiar with, or are somehow not sold on, the twenty incredible bands we’ve booked to play THE party of the year, we have scoured YouTube for recent live footage of ALL the artists playing the fest… so you can have a little taste of the madness we have in store for ya! You can see clips from all the bands playing on Friday, November 4 here; and check out clips of all the bands playing on Saturday, November 5 below.

And don’t forget: TODAY and TODAY ONLY, ALL TICKETS TO THE METAL SUCKFEST ARE JUST $25 EACH with no added fees, regardless of whether you buy tickets online, or just walk up to the box office at the Gramercy Theatre. So if you don’t already have your tickets, make sure you take advantage!!!

And now, without further ado, enjoy concert footage of all the bands playing Day Two of The Metal Suckfest!

CYNIC

More after the jump!

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You asked, we listened: you said that the “fees” added to the ticket price of The Metal Suckfest were too much, so for today only we’re eliminating ALL ticket fees! As if that weren’t enough, we’re discounting the ticket price by an additional $5 for a grand total all-in ticket price of just $25 per day!! Considering a lot of big metal tours with only four bands cost $25 or more and we’re giving you TEN awesome bands per day, we think that’s a pretty fucking sweet deal!

But the deal only lasts until midnight tonight (Wednesday, November 2), so be sure to jump on it now. Tickets are available at this link; to cash in your discount, select the number of tickets you want from the “Discount Offer” menu after selecting the same amount in the “Full Price Ticket” menu. See you Friday!

Congrats to reader Charles Madison. He correctly identified last week’s logo as belonging to the band Zagharos, and for his troubles, he wins  five CDs from MS Mansion Archives. Invisible oranges up for Charles!

This week we have another ridiculously great prize for you cats, courtesy of Relapse Records: two, count ‘em two, copies of Set the Dial, the new album from Black Tusk. The band is scheduled to destroy this Friday at The Metal Suckfest (tickets on sale tomorrow for just $25!), and I can’t even tell you how stoked I am to get to hear some of these new tunes live. So either get off your ass and order a copy, or enter this contest and keep yer fingers crossed!

All you gots to do to win is identify the name of the band whose logo appears below, then shoot me an e-mail at axl AT metalsucks DOT net with your answer, your name, and your address. ALL ENTRIES WITHOUT AN ADDRESS WILL BE DISQUALIFIED. From everyone who gets it right, we’ll randomly select one winner and announce his or her name a week from today.

This week’s logo was suggested by reader  Erick Sierra… thanks, Erick!!!

-AR

The Metal Suckfest is this weekend!!! And in case you’re not familiar with, or are somehow not sold on, the twenty incredible bands we’ve booked to play THE party of the year, we have scoured YouTube for recent live footage of ALL the artists playing the fest… so you can have a little taste of the madness we have in store for ya! (The exception is Prime Evil, who are actually reuniting after being dormant for some time. So their live footage is from back in the day.) Today, we’re posting clips of all the bands playing on Friday, November 4; tomorrow, we’ll post clips of all the bands playing on Saturday, November 5.

And don’t forget: TOMORROW and TOMORROW ONLY, ALL TICKETS TO THE METAL SUCKFEST ARE JUST $25 EACH with no added fees, regardless of whether you buy tickets online, or just walk up to the box office at the Gramercy Theatre. So if you don’t already have your tickets, make sure you take advantage!!!

And now, without further ado, enjoy concert footage of all the bands playing Day One of The Metal Suckfest!

MUNICIPAL WASTE

More after the jump!

Click to read more…

You read the headline correctly! This Wednesday, November 2, for 24 hours and only 24 hours, all tickets to The Metal Suckfest are dropping from $30 to $25 — even if you order tickets online, they’re still just $25, regardless of service fees!!!

So, like, what else do you need to know? Twenty bands in two days for just twenty-five bucks a day?!?! That’s just $2.50 a band. That’s re-goddamn-diculous.

You can order tickets right here, or just walk up to the box office at the Gramercy Theatre. And don’t forget that if you purchase tickets your tickets before the show, you’ll be entered a win a contest where one winner each day (Friday and Saturday only; Thursday’s “Pre Game” is not included) will be able to arrive at the show before doors open to meet with the bands backstage before the concert, listen to soundcheck, and hang out and watch as everything gets set up. Each winner will also receive a bag full of metal swag put together by MetalSucks! Folks who purchase tickets online are automatically entered into the raffle, while those who purchase tickets at the Gramercy Theatre box office can drop a ballot in the “enter to win” box located in the box office window.

IT’S ALMOST HERE!!! After months and months of hard work and planning, The Metal Suckfest is this Friday + Saturday!!! We are obviously beyond excited. And we’re gonna have a ton of more news for you about the fest throughout this week, so you can get the maximum amount of fun out of your MSF experience.

For example: the legendary Cynic, who are headlining The Metal Suckfest on Saturday, November 5, will also be doing a special release party for their new EP, Carbon-Based Anatomy (our review here)!!! That event will take place on Wednesday, November 2 at Idle Hands Bar starting at 8 pm. The band will be signing copies of the EP, which doesn’t even come out ’til November 15, so if you come to this event, you can get yours two weeks in advance. And, as if that wasn’t cool enough, they’ll also be doing a special acoustic performance!

But wait! It gets even better!!! Idle Hands will be offering drink specials, including their signature $10 Tasting with Sierra Nevada. So you have a chance to see Cynic twice in one week, in totally different environments, doing totally different kinds of gigs, and you can get totally sloshed doing it. Not too shabby, eh?

You can get more details from Idle Hands’ official website. And we’ll have even MORE news on Idle Hands and a post-Suckfest party for you sometime this week. Stay tuned…

UPDATE: If ya didn’t get to listen-in live, you can now download the episode right here!

In case ya hadn’t heard, the Metal Injection Livecast is on Sunday nights now! And I’ll be on tomorrow as a guest to participate in the madness, and, naturally, shameless plug next weekend’s Metal Suckfest. But in case you hate me or I’m just not enough for you or whatever, Steel Panther vocalist Michael Starr will also be calling in! It’s gonna be an awesome time.

So tune in, this Sunday starting at 7pm Eastern (4PM Pacific Time, 12AM Mon. In London) and going until 9PM eastern time for an all new edition of the Livecast. The show will stream live right here. You can be even chime in by calling us at 646-929-1357. Don’t miss it!

-AR

Longtime MetalSucks readers already know that we are absolutely OBSESSED with Lake Bukkake, the NYC underground pornogrind outfit who emerged with a bang* in the mid-90s and disappeared just as suddenly in 2001 because, we quote, “Of 9/11, and also the lack of really good pussy in this town.” There have been rumors for years that the band was working on a new album — their first since 1999′s I Left My Heart in Lake Bukkake — entitled Chinese Bukkakacy. And we’ve been trying to track them down FOREVER to beg them for an interview, a preview of the new record, whatever. But to no avail.

Well, all that has changed. After months and months and months of negotiations — and by “negotiations,” we mean “us pestering and begging them constantly” — the group has FINALLY agreed to emerge from their shell to play the opening set on Day 1 of The Metal Suckfest, one week from today, Friday, November 4. The band will play both I Left My Heart… and 1996′s Shut Up it’s Good for Your Complexion in their entirety. (The combined running time of both albums is less than fifteen minutes.) They also PROMISED us to debut at LEAST two songs from Chinese Bukkakacy, which they have, indeed, been working on for awhile (although apparently it may not be called that anymore — “The idea seemed pretty funny in 2006, not so much anymore,” the band told us by e-mail).

This performance alone suddenly makes The Metal Suckfest just that much more exciting, and we will be there, right up front, moshing our brains out for it. We hope you join us. Buy tickets for this very special event here.

-Axl & Vince

*Almost literally — their now-legendary first show at the now-defunct Wetlands was abruptly shut down when then-bassist, a shemale known only as “Jizzis Joplin” (who, alas, died of an O.D. a year later), rubbed one out on-stage, blowing his/her load in the direction of the audience.

The Inaugural Metal Suckfest is almost here!!!! Twenty bands will DESTROY The Gramercy Theatre on November 4 and 5, PLUS there’s an awesome, five-band pre-party at the venue the night before, making this THE can’t-miss hang of the year.

Tickets are on sale now right here, and you can hit up the fest’s official website for more info on the shows, including the complete line-up. In the meantime, we’re counting down to this weekend of chaos and debauchery by speaking to one member from each band on the bill. We continue today with guitarist/vocalist Paul Masvidal of Cynic, whose new EP, Carbon-Based Anatomy, comes out November 11 via Season of Mist (read our review here). And in case you didn’t know, Pal also sometimes blogs for MetalSucks, too!

Read our chat after the jump. And don’t forget to check back in the coming days and weeks for interviews with more of the musicians participating in this awesome event!!!

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