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As you may be aware, MetalSucks recently invited  musicians from across the vast spectrum of the metalsphere to tell us what their favorite albums of 2011 have been. But the always-unique Eugene S. Robinson of Oxbow fame turned in a list of a somewhat different nature. The silver lining is, his list is so great that we opted to run it anyway! And so please enjoy Mr. Robinson’s list of “Top Ten Records for Making Everybody in the Room Uncomfortable…”

10. Sylvia, Pillow Talk – Sure, she started Sugarhill Records, which was on the map for giving birth to what Morrissey (more on him later) would call “pop thuggery” in the form of hip hop, and sure, she just died, but nothing says “douche chills” like her making fuck noises on this record. For like twenty minutes. Complete with baby talk and the lyric, “What I’m teaching you tonight, boy, you never learned in school.” In fact, any song with fuck noises in it gets on this list. Think I’m a prude? Try playing this shit when your mom’s around. Also, why does heavy metal, outside of Black Flag’s Slip It In, have so little simulated sex going on in it?

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The Starbucks Incident

Yes, I am going to continue to bitch about Slash. I understand that Slash is not Jimi Hendrix but this might be the single biggest betrayal to my formative years since Metallica released everything they’ve released from Load on, and I need to mourn.

So. Some lady says that the following singers are all on Slash’s new solo album, How Could Taking My Cues from Carlos Santana Possibly Go Wrong? I have added my own thoughts because that’s what we do around here. Click to read more…

I know this probably too much Metallica news for one day, but fuck it, I gotta get this off my chest.

I don’t have anything against Flea. I don’t have anything against the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And I know that the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame is probably even more insignificant than the Grammys.

Still: I just can’t believe that in the entire world, there was NO ONE MORE METAL who could have inducted the band. I understand they want someone whose name they can say on TV to boost ratings, but there had to be SOMEONE more qualified. Is there a rule against having a band that was inducting do the inducting? Were the dudes from Black Sabbath not available? Slash? Eddie Van Halen? Alice in Chains? Marilyn Manson? ANYONE?

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I know we’ve been talking about a movies a lot today; I dunno, it’s a cinemetal kinda day. Maybe ’cause the Oscraps were last night.

ANYWAY, are y’all familiar with the fine work of Mr. John Sayles? He got his started writing Roger Corman b-movies like Piranha (the Jaws rip-off) and Alligator (about a giant alligator eating people in the sewers of NYC) and still makes ends meet by doing re-write work on big budget crap (Bad Boys II, for one – but he also wrote a draft of Jurassic Park IV that was about, I shit you not, genetically modified super dinosaurs that the government uses to combat drug lords). But his true calling is being a director of little, intimate, talky indie movies – Lone Star, Sunshine State, and The Brother from Another Planet, amongst others, are all John Sayles joints.

Why am I telling you all this? Because apparently Sayles is going to write a new HBO series based on the life of Red Hot Chili Pepper front dude Anthony Kiedis.

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