MetalSucks

There’s some hype around Jennifer’s Body ’cause it’s the first film that stripper-turned-screenwriter Diablo Cody has written since she won the Oscar for Juno, which is one of those movies you either love or hate. But it’s from the director of the live-action Aeon Flux, which is a bad sign, and besides The Sword, the soundtrack is mostly hipster-douche bands I can’t stand. Of course, some people would argue that The Sword are a hipster douche band…

Anyways, it’s a slow news month, and any excuse to post Megan Fox looking all whorish pretty much the way she always does, right?

Jennifer’s Body comes out September 14. It takes place in a world where Amanda Seyfried is considered the ugly girl.

-AR

I love Metal Insider’s Bram Teitelman so much right now I could kiss him on his Quaker Jewish mouth right now (And no, I’m not kidding. And, oddly enough, Teitelman is the second Quaker Jew I’ve known. Bizarre.). See, Bram noticed what the rest of us failed to – that the riff from the new Kiss song, “Modern Day Who Gives a Fuck,” is more or less a total rip-off of The Sword’s Freya.

Think Bram is wrong? Listent to both and decide for yourself.

Here’s Kiss:

And here’s The Sword:

Click to read more…

When it was announced last month that Killswitch Engage would be on Disturbed’s fourth Music as a Weapon tour, we were flooded with so many irate e-mails from readers you’d have thought that Howard Jones had just been caught raping hundreds of metal fans’ mothers; KSE fans just couldn’t seem to wrap their heads around the concept of the American New Wavers acting as support for one of the most love ‘em or loathe ‘em nu metal acts on the planet. We didn’t report on the development at the time, though. Frankly, I figured it was just one of those things; sometimes awesome bands tour with crappy ones. You can’t please all the people all the time.

But now that Chimaira and Lacuna Coil have joined the tour, I gotta ask: what the frick?

Click to read more…

I wonder if this guy had toked a leel on my baby blue bubbler and listened to this song, would he still have gone buck wild and done what he done?

[link courtesy of the one-and-only Hurricane Doneski (from thefamousish.com), my favorite non-Mexican Mexican and Vince and mine's host into hell in March for SXSW 2009 -- whoop whoop/apologies in advance to my poor liver...]

THE SWORD – “Lament for the Aurochs”, from Age of Winters (2006)

-KW

Thank YOU for taking part in our “Give Thanks to Metal” contest, in which we asked you to tell us why you’re grateful to have metal in your life. You guys are truly a thankful bunch, and we received several quality and heartfelt entries. Congratulations to Daniel Jaryniewich of North Arlington, NJ; Daniel’s letter made us laugh and made us cry, proving to us that he is truly, honestly and completely thankful for metal. For that he wins an Epiphone guitar signed by the members of stoner metal phenoms The Sword; don’t say we never did nothin’ for ya.

Daniel’s excellently crafted winning entry in its entirety, after the jump. Enjoy.

Click to read more…

In the spirit of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, MetalSucks is giving you the chance to win an Epiphone guitar signed by the members of The Sword! This sweet Sword sword — which is also imprinted with the band’s logo — can be all yours for the price of FREE; all you have to do is write a comment below or email news [at] metalsucks.net (with “Sword Sword” in the subject) and tell us why you’re thankful for metal. Monsieurs Axl and Vince will pick their favorite entry after Thanksgiving on Monday, December 1st, and the guitar shall be yours. U.S. entrants only please, as we gots to ship this thing and it ain’t cheap. Praise be metal!

A whole bunch of you emailed us yesterday following my review of Northern Ireland’s meat n’ potatoes rockers The Answer; seems you all really like this kind of stuff. So hows about we take a trip in the not-so-waybackmachine to explore some jams from the likes of Year Long Disaster, Karma to Burn and The Sword?

Click to read more…

So rumor has it that Wolfmother are done. Which is fine by me – I always thought that band sucked anyway. Hipsters will have one less metal band to worship I guess, but, hey, The Sword are still going strong.

Here’s the now infamous video of a certain Monsieur Michael Patton expressing an opinion not dissimilar from my own:

I knew there was a reason I worship Mike Patton…

-AR

So while it was rumored for awhile that this year’s edition of Ozzfest would be a two day event – but it has now been announced that it’ll be just one single day, on Saturday, August 9, at at Pizza Hut Park* in Dallas, Texas. The line-up will be as follows:

Main Stage
OZZY OSBOURNE
METALLICA
SERJ TANKIAN
HELLYEAH
JONATHAN DAVIS
CAVALERA CONSPIRACY
SHADOWS FALL
APOCALYPTICA
IN THIS MOMENT
All-Star Tribute To “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott

Second Stage
SEVENDUST
DEVILDRIVER
KINGDOM OF SORROW
SOILENT GREEN
WITCHCRAFT
GOATWHORE

Texas (Third) Stage
THE SWORD
DROWNING POOL
RIGOR MORTIS

Actually, that is, by no means, a terrible line-up; if the stages are staggered at all (and I imagine they will be), it would be plenty easy to keep oneself occupied during sets from In This Moment, Jonathan Davis, and HellNo. And I guess it’s honorable of Metallica to let Ozzy play last, even though, at this point, a) they’re much bigger than Ozzy and b) Ozzy has to be in bed by 8 pm. I mean, if I was Ozzy, and I’d spent recent Ozzfests getting blown off the stage by the likes of Maiden and Priest, I certainly wouldn’t wanna follow Metallica. But, y’know, nice of Ulrich and Hetfield to step aside for one night and let the Ozzman cometh.

Click to read more…

Another fine metal Tuesday of new releases is upon us.

The most talked-about release today is In Flames’ controversial new album A Sense of Purpose. Does it represent a step towards current trends or the next logical evolution of the band? Read Vince’s Sunday Spotlight feature on In Flames for a career retrospective of the band up until this point.

Sevendust release their seventh record Chapter VII: Hope & Sorrow today, less than a week after announcing the return of original guitarist Clint Lowery, making this album kind of irrelevant. It’s the third Clint-less album, and hence the third to sound exactly the same. But it’s Sevendust, and there are a few gems within. Read Vince’s long review and short review.

Dream Theater release the aptly titled Greatest Hit and 21 Other Pretty Cool Songs 2-disc retrospective set. Ironically, the one “greatest hit” has been remixed and robbed of its originality.

Retro-Sabbathian metallers The Sword release their new one Gods of the Earth today; Kip W. will have a full review shortly, but preliminary reactions have been so-so.

Elsewhere, Ministry finally release their covers album Cover Up after embarking on their farewell C U LaTour with Meshuggah. Apparently Joe Satriani has a new album out, and though we haven’t heard it we’re pretty sure we know what it sounds like. And experimental art metallers Nadja have a new one too; color me interested to hear it.

So hit your local record store (at least one city, Seattle, still has an awesome one called Everyday Music that I visited this weekend), iTunes, or your favorite torrent legal music download service and get these new jams.

According to The Syndicate (and other sources), The Sword played an entire set under the name The Zombie Eaters, performing Faith No More’s classic album The Real Thing in its entirety.

The band, who’s amazing album Gods Of The Earth is dropping on April 1, took the stage wearing 80s-themed shirts and commenced playing most of FNM’s third album, The Real Thng [sic]. What they missed in dead-on musicianship, they made up for in enthusiasm. Great way to start off the convention!

Whatwith Faith No More being broken up and a reunion seeming unlikely due to callaborations with members of Korn and Limp Bizkit and pumpkin farming, this probably would’ve been the closest I could get to seeing those songs performed live (perennial cover favorite “Epic” notwithstanding). Oh well… we can always hope.

-VN

Personally I’m not so psyched about Gods of the Earth, the new album by The Sword — granted, I’ve only listened to it a couple times, but it immediately felt like a rehash of their awesome debut Age of Winters, and I for one was hoping for some semblance of evolution. The tunes are fine, but nothing spectacular as I was expecting.

That said, if you’re aching to get your Sword fix on, you can check out this track right heah…

“Fire Lances of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians” at Black Balloon

-KW