…Iron Maiden, for the song “El Dorado,” and Them Crooked Vultures, for the song “SERIOUSLY WHO GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THEM CROOKED VULTURES YOU OLD FAT FILTHY FUCKS?”

So the thing is, if you look up the word “meaningless” in the dictionary, you will find a picture of a Grammy. There’s really no reason to be bummed about this. And while I don’t think “El Dorado” is a very good song, I’m glad that Maiden won as opposed to, say, Korn. Actually, I would have been okay with any of the nominees that weren’t Korn winning.

But for Them Crooked Vultures — or, really, any of the bands that weren’t Alice in Chains — to win just proves what a joke these awards are. I don’t even feel like I have to type anything else to prove my point — just the words “Them Crooked Vultures” should make you automatically say through your yawn, “Next!”

-AR

One of these men will not be on the new Kyuss album. Guess which one?

Kyuss Lives!, the ridiculously monikered Kyuss non-reunion which replaces Josh Homme with some dude no one has ever heard of, are apparently “thinking of doing another record,” according to this interview with vocalist John Garcia. I object to the use of the word “another” because in case these dudes haven’t noticed, they’ve never made a record before, but I’d like to think that the phrase “thinking of”* means “it’s not written in stone yet,” “there’s still time to stop the madness,” and “we said this to gauge the reaction of fans, possibly as represented by an incredibly smart, exceedingly handsome Jewish blogger from New York.”

So, assuming that Garcia was, indeed, trying to get a message to me to see what my thoughts were, I’d like to now respond by saying: I don’t think this is a good idea.

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The Grammy nominations have been announced, and, as per usual, they’ve got nuthin’ to do with nuthin’. This isn’t a shock; the Grammys have been a meaningless award, and will remain a meaningless award. But if you’re morbidly curious, as I am, as to who old white dudes think are the créme de la créme of our music of choice, the nominees, and some more snarky commentary from yours truly, are after the jump.

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As this blog’s unofficial grunge rock correspondent, I have Internet filters in place to catch for news related to the dinosaurs of that otherwise dormant subgenre. So when my tricked-out Commodore 64 started billowing black smoke, I knew that something big was happening in the world of flannel metal–well, big to the sense of old, weepy, nostalgic farts like me. So what caused this mechanical meltdown of FAIL-like proportions? Was it news that Butch Vig (producer of Nirvana’s Nevermind) would be producing the new Foo Fighters record? Hardly. As it turns out, Dave Grohl’s accompanying boast that this would be the Foos’ “heaviest album yet” overloaded my computer’s custom-made Bullshit Detector. I mean, c’mon!

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Reader Shane Gillis sent in this video, which appears to be a bunch of clips strung together of an obviously overcaffeinated Dave Grohl in the studio with Them Crooked Vultures (who are pretty “meh” even by “meh” supergroup standards). And while, on the one hand, it’s pretty funny, on the other hand, I know that in real life I hate being around people this loud and obnoxious. Guess it’s a good thing that Grohl is a rock star and we’ll never be friends. I didn’t wanna be friends with him anyway…

-AR

My good friend Rob at Metal Injection thinks that “SNL was actually pretty good this week,” and while I love Rob, I have to violently disagree: a friend and I watched the show when we were so blitzed that watching SNL actually seemed like a good idea, and I think we still only laughed two or three times. And I’m sorry, but Them Crooked Vultures are lame.

One of the better sketches, though, was the below, which… well, the less you know about it beyond that fact that Dave Grohl is in it, the better. Suffice it to say, the evidence is growing that there’s at least one writer at SNL who knows what’s up. If anyone knows who that writer is, please drop me a line. I’d love to interview him or her and ask if they think the show might ever actually be good again.

NOTE: I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with the video embed, but you can watch the skit here.

-AR

We’re shuttering the Mansion early this week in celebration of the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday. Axl closed down his Annex hours ago, and I’m bidding farewell to the Vince Division as soon as I finish this here “Worst Week Ever” column. The Monkeys will have to make due on their own ’til Monday.

• Devin Townsend sold some records.
• Noisecreep released their “Best Songs of the Decade” and “Best Albums of 2009” lists. Predictably, arguing ensued.
• Cristina Scabbia posed for a PETA with clothes on (imagine that!), then she took our joke a little too seriously.
• We looked at new releases from supergroups Shrinebuilder and Them Crooked Vultures.
• There’s drama in The Human Abstract camp.

That’s it. We out. Maybe we’ll do SSTGST and Black Metal Brunch columns. Adios!

-VN

Them Crooked Vultures debuted in the Top 20… how ’bout that. Not surprising given the cast of characters, I suppose. MetalSucks guest blogger Devin mothafuckin’ Townsend debuted in the Top 200, while a few other metal releases maintained. It’s all holiday shlock and best-of compilations from hereon out.

[UPDATE: Devin will be calling in to the Metal Injection Livecast tonight at 8pm EST! Make sure you tune in; get details here.]

Soundscan shite after the jump…

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While there are more obvious statements than “supergroups more often than not fail to meet our expectations” – “fire will ruin your house” and “Guns N’ Roses have gone through numerous line-up changes” are tied with it – there aren’t many. And yet, with the announcement of a formation of one, excitement is usually the first emotion called upon. And while saying that supergroup prospects should immediately be met with caution is like saying a new car should be approached with the attitude that you will most likely wrap it around a tree, the failure/success ratio is sadly stacked toward the former. However, this usually isn’t the fault of the uber-collective, but our own gargantuan expectations assuming that this new band featuring members of other bands we like will be as good as all the involved bandmembers main projects COMBINED. And while there have been some out and out failures as of late (cough Greymachine cough), the other two most notable supergroups that reared their heads this year – scraggly doom metal gathering of titans Shrinebuilder and semi-unkempt gathering of some dudes from your uncle’s favorite bands Them Crooked Vultures – have gotten an unfair rap in the wake of their respective debuts’ releases. While to say the bands’ detractors dislike their albums because they don’t rival Neurosis, Sleep, the Melvins, Nirvana, Queens of the Stone Age, or Led fucking Zeppelin is unfairly ignoring their actual grievances, to write off either Shrinebuilder or Them Crooked Vultures would be a damn shame, in that, while not reinventing any sort of wheel, in a year where the biggest supergroup commercially was Chickenfoot, a solid doom metal album and a solid stoner rock album are two pretty significant things to dismiss.

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MS reader AcidBeagle sent us the below YouTube embed of a brand new Them Crooked Vultures track called “Mind Eraser.” It’s pretty good (pretty, pretty, pretty good!), but that’s about as far as I’m going to go with it.

While the prospect of a Grohl/Homme/JPJ union was indeed tantalizing in theory, the partnership has turned out to be pretty “meh” in practice. It’s perfectly fine boogie/blues/whatever rock music, but would anyone ultimately give a shit if not for the star-studded cast of characters involved? Methinksnot, but you be judge.

-VN

Honestly, I was never that excited about Them Crooked Vultures, for the simple reason that supergroups are anticlimactic nine out of ten times (and the fact that Queens of the Stone Age haven’t made a record I’ve wanted to listen to more than once since Songs for the Deaf didn’t help). Still, I was open to giving the band a shot.

Then I heard their first single, “New Fang.”

When Gary Suarez described this band’s music as “seriously generic and geriatric classic rock,” he wasn’t kidding.

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A little over a week ago, I still felt so very excited about Them Crooked Vultures, the supergroup featuring such rock stars Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters, Nirvana), Josh Homme (Kyuss, Queens Of The Stone Age), and John Paul Jones (some obscure 60s/70s band). With Grohl back behind the drums again and Homme as frontman, this somewhat clandestinely publicized grouping swelled with potential and promise.

Then, I saw them live.

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People seem to be pretty into Them Crooked Vultures, the new group featuring Josh Homme, Dave Grohl and John Paul Jones. Ya’ll have been emailing us all sorts of live clips that have been popping up, and Blabbermouth posts news about them any time one of the members so much as takes a shit. I admit, the prospect of this band is pretty tantalizing and I’m quite excited about them myself — I just don’t need to get all in a tizzy about 30 seconds of crappy cell-phone footage and a U.S. tour that doesn’t even hit New York (prediction: CMJ. Watch for it.)

Anyway, here’s some actual, real, worth-reporting news about the band: there’s a preview of the song “Scumbag Blues,” along with some nifty old-school looking animation, posted on Them Crooked Vultures’ official YouTube account (sent in by MS Maniac Jonathon Edwards). Watch it below.

So the guy with the umbrella/cane is obviously JPJ (cane = old, and all of those platinum records on the wall behind him), but of the other two vultures which is Grohl and which is Homme? Your guesses are as good as mine.

-VN

Last month I reported on the tantalizing supergroup combo of Dave Grohl, Josh Homme and John Paul Jones. In the past few days that post has become tremendously popular, either because ya’ll really want to know about this group or because my headline of HOMME + GROHL + JOHN PAUL JONES = BONER is attracting people curious about the dick size of the aforementioned men. But we’re pretty sure it’s the latter, because the supergroup, now dubbed Them Crooked Vultures (how fucking perfect is that??) made their live debut this past Saturday evening at a Lollapalooza afterparty to a sold out crowd at the Metro in Chicago.

The Internet’s a buzzin’ with news and speculation about the band. I’ve seen no less than a dozen Facebook/Twitter posts; Spin.com has a list of funny things overheard at the show; Blabbermouth has a 30-second teaser of the song “Nobody Loves Me And Neither Do I” which I’ve re-posted below. Pretty much any excuse to talk about this band… oh wait.

No word yet on a release date for an album. Check out the teaser clip below… it sounds pretty much like you’d expect it to, which is a great thing.

-VN