Portnoy (left) with Tom Morello, John goddamn Sykes, That Metal Show host Eddie Trunk, and Doug Pinnick of King’s X

There are days when it seems like ex-Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy is underachieving (cough Adrenaline Mob), but the wider view reveals a hard-working guy who cares greatly about quality music. His mistakes are mistakes (singing on DT records, 12-stepper lyrics, AX7), and his post-DT career so far is basically frantic, low-confidence base-covering, but hey that’s the reality of a messy break-up. You get a little crazy and scared. But with time and patience, Portnoy will land another Images And Words-sized creative success. This is my belief.

So imagine how smugly right I feel about that belief when it was announced Monday that Portnoy is pairing with hungry, mega-talented ace John fucking Sykes (Blue Murder, Whitesnake). Bonerz!
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Judas Priest are probably one of the best metal bands in the history of the genre, and certainly one of the most important. And, sure, their post-reunion-with-Halford studio albums haven’t been so great, but they haven’t been unbearably terrible, either, and the band still puts on a really, really fun show live.

So why am I feeling so over it with them? Well, let’s begin by going over all the drama that has surrounded the group just in the past seven months.

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I was bummed last month when I heard that FUBAR‘s Dean “Deaner” Murdoch (Paul J. Spence) was detained at the Canadian border and would not grace the SXSW Film Festival with his presence. So, I took matter into my own hands and tracked the one-balled mustachioed metalhead down and asked him for some sticky pearls of wisdom. Instead, he gave me a Top 10 list. – CM

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Oh, hey, it’s St. Patty’s Day! Like so many holidays, it’s an excuse for people to get totally fucked up… as though anyone needed an excuse to get totally fucked up. Still, I hope everyone has fun today.

Man, it seems like there is a serious dearth Irish metal bands. There’s Thin Lizzy (if you consider them metal at all) and Primordial and Altar of Plagues and… that’s it. Even most of the famous celtic metal bands aren’t actually from Ireland. Bizarre. You’d think people who liked to drink and fight so much would make a lot of angry music, but I guess they’re too busy, uh, drinking and fighting.

Now, I’m not a Primordial fan, and I know there’s a new Altar of Plagues album coming out, but they haven’t officially released any new music yet, so we’re shit outta luck there. And I already used Thin Lizzy for this holiday back in 2009.

So I’m going with the Dropkick Murphys. Yeah, they’re not metal, and they’re not actually from Ireland, but they do rock, and I am reasonably certain that they could kick everyone in Primordial’s ass without breaking a sweat.

Now who’s got my Shamrock Shake?

-AR

P.S. If anyone knows of any other good Irish metal bands, by all means, please feel free to leave suggestions in the comments section.

In 1968, Gary Moore (above, top left) was just 16 years old when he joined future Thin Lizzy frontman Phil Lynott in the Dublin blues-rock quartet Skid Row*. So, Moore was a charter member of the Society of Overachieving Teen Guitarists that would later include Steve Vai (19, Frank Zappa), Zakk Wylde (19, Ozzy Osbourne), and Devin Townsend (19, Steve Vai). Pretty elite company.

After a pair of short stints in Thin Lizzy, Moore again reunited with Lynott in 1979 for the band’s seminal Black Rose: A Rock Legend (see Axl Rose’s Black Rose-themed tattoo here, upper left). More than twenty solo albums followed, including 2008’s Bad For You Baby.

British tabloid The Sun reports that Moore, 58, was discovered unresponsive by medical staff in a Spain hotel suite where there were “definite signs of alcohol.” The Sun also quotes a source at the hotel who has stated that Moore “seemed fine when he left [the hotel bar] around 11 pm.” A post mortem has been scheduled.

After the jump, check out the MetalSucks round up of tributes to Moore by members of Obituary, Opeth, Black Flag, Testament, Black Sabbath, and mo(o)re.

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Man, Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry is having a rough month. First, his arch-frenemy Steven Tyler finalized a spot on that TV show about pre-failures caterwauling hit songs while nervous. And this follows know-it-all beardo John Kalodner’s description of Perry as “completely wrong,” “jealous,” and “ultra-pissed off,” which supposes that Perry hoped that the AI judge seat was to be shared by the Toxic Talkshit Twins. Actually that would’ve been cute, every week Tyler perched gamely on Perry’s lap, stroking his abs while some featureless shriek-droid performs “Don’t Stop Believin’” to a theater of fame-wet spectators. Well, that’s what I dreamt last night anyway. Cough.

Anyhow, when Perry awoke and rolled off a pile of my money this morning, he was probably too crabby to just ignore the announcement that his band is the latest victim of an Atreyu Cover Version attack. It happened to Bon Jovi in 2004, when Atreyu launched an emo-guided missile of Twilight-level corniness at “You Give Love A Bad Name” (I complained all about it on The Deciblog). Then, an unapologetic lameness mine overturned both Faith No More’s “Epic” and “Clean Sheets” by The Descendents in 2008 and holy shit let’s not validate that type of ear-terrorism with discussion of any kind. (It never happened if everyone on Earth denies it. You fuckin’ deny that shit.)

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My top 5 artists/rock bands constantly change but right now I’d have to say these are them!

# 5 – Robin Trower

One of the greats!

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Did you know that if you eat before you start slamming shots, you’ll get a little less drunk, but you’ll also have something to vomit up later? It’s true. Also, sometimes when you smoke weed, you get the munchies. These are just two great reasons why you should care about Hellbent for Cooking: The Heavy Metal Cookbook by Annick “Morbid Chef” Giroux. Showcasing “a varied menu of over a hundred recipes from thirty countries,” Hellbent for Cooking features recipes by members of Accept, Anthrax, Anvil, Armored Saint, Brutal Truth, Death, Electric Wizard, Eyehategod, Gwar, Judas Priest, Kreator, Mayhem, Melechesh, Nuclear Assault, Obituary, Repulsion, Saint Vitus, Sepultura, Sigh, S.O.D., Slough Feg, Thin Lizzy, Toxic Holocaust, and about a trillion others (you can get a complete list of contributing bands here).

MetalSucks is teaming up with Bazillion Points Publishing to give away three (3) copies of Hellbent for Cooking. All you have to do to win is create a picture that somehow connects metal to food and post a link to someplace we can view said picture in the comments section below. Use Photoshop to create an image of Lemmy eating a hot dog, use MS Paint to do a portrait of Metallica as the pepperonis on a pizza, whatever you want – it just has to be both food and metal related, and it has to amuse us. Vince and I will choose the three pics that make us laugh the hardest and those pics’ creators win the book.

This contest will end at midnight EST on Monday, December 14. Please note that this contest is open to U.S. residents only, as shipping costs are a bitch. And if you’re too lazy to participate, you can always just order a copy of the book here.

Good luck, and good eats…

-AR

Here’s some Irish rawk for ya.

-AR