If you haven’t read Part One of my interview with Melvins frontman Buzz Osborne, you might want to check it out before you go any further. In this second and final installment of that conversation, King Buzzo pulls no punches. See below to learn his thoughts on grunge, crabcore, and why he’d rather open for Madonna than ever play Ozzfest again.

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The past, present and future best band on the planet are currently working on a new album, according to the March Newsletter post on their official website. As with any post on Tool’s hilariously out-of-date website there’s a ton of abstract writing that has little to do with anything, but there are a couple of tid-bits you oughtta know:

• The three instrumental members of Tool are currently working on writing new material while Maynard finishes up touring with Puscifer.
• There is the possibility that the band will do two mini-tours this Summer, one each of the West and East coasts.

Tool’s last album, 10,000 Days, came out almost exactly 4 years ago. Lateralus before it came out in 2001, a 5-year gap. Tool are notoriously slow writers and recorders, but if all goes well we could have a new Tool album around this time next year. Let’s hope!

-VN

Thanks: L Regli

One of the best parts of the Tool Lateralus tour cycle was drummer extraordinaire Danny Carey’s drum-off with various guest drummers. Vince and I saw him do it a couple of years ago with a drummer whose name I unfortunately can’t remember, and it was awesome; then, last summer, we saw him do it again with Frank Ferrer from Guns N’ Roses, and it was even awesomer. (And that was when we heard the always-brilliant Maynard James Keenan use the phrase “drumsterbation.”)

But this pro-shot video of Carey drumsterbating with Mastodon’s Brann Dailor is awesomest. I mean, these two fuckers can play, y’know. Now if only they could’ve made it a three-way with Mike Portnoy…

-AR

[via The PRP]

The headline pretty much says it all. I don’t really have any way to elaborate, other than to say that it just goes to show ya, you can always turn metal into something my mom might listen to if you just get a little creative.

Props to Bram at Metal Insider for finding this.

-AR

I don’t know why it bothers me so much when people rip-off some bands, like Tool and Meshuggah, but not that much when they rip-off other bands, like Slayer and Pantera. I mean, every fucking band in the world steals from Slayer on a regular basis, but I’m never like “Oh, fuck these guys, they’re no Slayer.” On the other hand, some band comes along that clearly wants to be Meshuggah, and I can’t be bothered. Are Meshuggah just so inimitable that I can’t handle anyone even trying to ape them? I dunno. I’ll bring it up in therapy this week.

While we wait to see what the good doctor has to say on the matter, here’s “High Pain Threshold,” the new video from Poland’s Neurothing, who clearly want so badly to be Meshuggah you wonder why they didn’t just name their band “Meshuggoh” or some shit. I wrote very briefly about how little I like this band when their album Murder Book came out last year, and this video hasn’t changed my opinion, which basically boils down to, “YOU’RE NOT MESHUGGAH SO JUST CUT IT THE FUCK OUT.”

At least the director found a clever way around his budgetary issues: just don’t light anyone.

-AR

[via Metal Underground]

I originally saw “Make a Move” at The Deciblog, where Chris Dick rightly notes that “At War get all Adam Jones” for this video. And this is a rare instance where I think the video is better than the song. The animation is sweet, but I can’t stand the vocals.

Watch for yourself and let us know what you think…

-AR

So apparently Ozzfest is coming back this summer, and is coming back as a traveling tour again (as opposed to the one-off fest it was in 2008). And that’s all well and good, only… who’s gonna be on the bill?

Mayhem, which is basically Ozzfest 2.0, has already scooped up a lot of big-name bands for the summer, including many who have played multiple past Ozzfests – namely Korn, Rob Zombie, Lamb of God, Atreyu, Shadows Fall and Hatebreed, the latter of whom I think have been on something like 90% of all Ozzfests ever.

Add to that other Ozzfest alum like Chimaira, In This Moment and Norma Jean, and some bands the kids today all seem to like, such as Winds of Plague and They Who Shall Not Be Named, and, well, that’s a whole bunch of potential mainstage and second stage draws right there.

Then there’s the mini-fests like Summer Slaughter. I can’t tell you which bands we already know are booked for some of these tours without betraying a lot of people’s confidence, but I can tell you that some great bands are now no longer available for Ozzfest.

And, oh yeah, Megadeth, Slayer, and Testament are now doing their American Carnage tour in the summer, so they’re out.

So who’s left? After the jump, I’m going to play my favorite game: it’s called “over-think about something incredibly unimportant.”

Before we proceed, it’s worth noting that I’m going to try and be semi-realistic when moving forward with some barely-educated guesses about who’ll be playing Ozzfest. If a band already has summer tour dates booked, I’m going to assume they’re not avail, although I acknowledge that they could cancel those dates in favor of playing for a bigger crowd. And I’m not even going to bother with bands like Pig Destroyer, Sigh, and Salome – bands that will play Ozzfest right around the time Joey Belladonna’s solo band plays four sold-out headlining shows at Giants Stadium. Also, obviously not all of these bands are gonna end up on the bill – these are just bands I think could end up there.

And so, without further bullshit…

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Last month we told you about Blood Into Wine, the new documentary about the winery owned by Tool’s Maynard James Keenan. The fascinating subject matter – both Maynard and the wine – combined with a cool trailer and the promise of cameos by Patton Oswalt, Bob Odenkirk, and some other famous people I care less about, suggested that this was, at the very least, going to be a fun movie.

Well, now it has release dates! The press release says that these are the “first nationwide screenings,” which suggests that other markets should get it soon. But that kind of decision often rests on how much money a film makes during its initial run. Which is my way of saying: if anyone sees this and it actually turns out to be good, please let us know, and please spread the word so that we get it here in NYC. Not be selfish or anything.

Release dates and locations after the jump.

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In the “bands that obviously look up to Tool but don’t sound exactly like Tool” department, Australian quintet Karnivool are clear winners. Their sound is big, dense, layered and just as intricate as the music of the aforementioned heavy prog rock masters… but unlike so many bands, Karnivool aren’t content to simply rape and pillage the tones of their heroes. Karnivool’s sound is a whole lot more atmospheric, lighter (in terms of mood) and a touch more melodic — and shit, maybe even a little more varied.

Karnivool’s album Sound Awake is old news to those in the band’s native Australia but the album isn’t officially getting released stateside until February 16th. Unsurprising then that they’re a pretty big deal at home but are only starting to get a foot-hold here; when they played Don Hill’s in NYC (a shithole in the truest sense of the word) last month, eyewitness reports came flooding in that the band absolutely blew the roof off the place, even without the aid of the phenomenal light show they usually bring in tow.

I’ve got my hands on a copy of Sound Awake and it’s a doozy indeed, but more than anything I’m anxious to see Karnivool live when they hit the states in March and April (dates on their MySpace page) starting with an appearance at SXSW. Stream the new track “Goliath” in its entirety below.

-VN

Goliath by Karnivool

A reader known simply as “Al G” submitted this, and… man, just… I just wanna say, thanks, Al. This is incredible. Truly incredible. It brings a tear to my eye, it does. And brings new meaning to the word “tool.”

-AR

Puscifer, Maynard James Keenan’s bizarro electro lounge music side-project, just announced a string of East Coast and Midwest dates for Spring 2010… and while I was initially very excited, upon further reflection I’m not so sure.

I feel like I’m in a cartoon, when a character has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, both strongly making the case for their cause. Here’s what mine are saying:

Angel: It’s Maynard! He’s a genius! While Puscifer might not really be your bag, Maynard’s one of the most creative guys in all of music and will surely put on a show that’s at the very least entertaining. Go to the show! Come on! Do it! You know it’s the right thing and you won’t regret it.

Devil: Don’t bother with this tripe. The music’s not that interesting, and the show won’t be what you’re hoping for. Ultimately you want this to be Tool, and it isn’t Tool at all. Don’t waste your money or your time… no reason to go to this!

I’m divided. I really don’t know what to do. Halp!

Full list of tour dates after the jump.

-VN

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So not only does Tool’s Maynard James Keenan have his own winery, but someone made a documentary about it? How did this news completely escape me ’til now?

No matter. Blood into Wine, the documentary in question, is going to premiere at the W Hotel in Scottsdale, AZ on Feb. 19 at 7:00 pm. It will also see a limited theatrical release that same day, followed by a DVD release in the spring.

The process of making wine is actually pretty fascinating, but I’d be lying if I said my primary interest in this film isn’t getting a better glimpse of “a larger picture of the often reclusive singer,” as the press release promises. For all the times I’ve seen Tool and A Perfect Circle live and all the interviews with the guy I’ve read, I still don’t feel like I really know him. Of course, that’s part of Maynard’s appeal – in the trailer for the flick, he admits that “I’ve made a career out of not giving away the whole farm” – but I’d still love to try and get some kind of feel for who Maynard actually is. And the fact that Patton Oswalt, Bob Odenkirk, and some other cool non-metal peeps are all in the movie doesn’t hurt.

Check out the trailer by clicking on the image below.

-AR

Tool are another example of a band that aren’t being included in as many decade-end lists as they should be simply because they don’t have a new album out and aren’t fresh on writers’ minds. I have seen Lateralus pop up on a fair number of lists (deservedly so), but I feel like if Tool had a new record out and were ever-present in the media this year, people would be all “OMG TOOL ONE OF THE BEST AND MOST UNIQUE BANDS EVER OF THE DECADE.” Alas. Save your e-breath on the “not metal” argument because you’re an idiot and I don’t wanna hear it.

Back in August I posted an epic piano cover of the title track from Lateralus, and last night MS reader Jeremy S sent in a video by the same dude covering “Vicarious.” The guy’s incredibly talented; writing the piano arrangement, mastering the movement of both hands, keeping track of all the crazy time signatures and singing at the same time is quite an undertaking. My hat’s off to you, dude… well done.

-VN

Our friends at Noisecreep must really enjoy getting yelled at by internet trolls, because now they’ve gone and published a list of the Best Metal Bands of the Decade. Like the other lists they’ve published as of late, this one was compiled by polling “a panel of music insiders,” which included yours truly. Look, ma! I’m an “insider!” You’re gonna make it after alllllll…

Anyways, I voted for four of the ten bands that made the final list, and I realize now that there’s one I didn’t vote for that was a major oversight on my part, so I’m glad they made it on there even without my help. And I think it’s a pretty solid line-up overrall. I suspect that more than a few of you will shit your pants over the inclusion of Slipknot, but I think Slipknot might be one of the most famous metal band of the past ten years that wasn’t already firmly established prior to 2000 (e.g., Slayer, Tool, etc.) and didn’t spend the decade sucking down goat semen (e.g., Metallica, Korn, etc.). By the way, I didn’t vote for Slipknot, I’m just saying I don’t think they deserve all the shit they take. Just some of the shit they take.

But I digress. Read the list here, and then come back and bitch and moan because Yog Sogolgoth (or the so-underground-no-one-knows-who-the-fuck-they-are tr00 kvlt band of your choice) didn’t make the cut.

-AR

We loved the last tour blog that Bison B.C.’s Dan And did for us so much, we’re only all-too-happy to present another! Below, please enjoy part 2; you can read part 1 here.

Sep 28 ’09 (Albuquerque NM @ Launch Pad)

The first thing that struck me about this venue was the framed posters that line the walls… Melvins, High on Fire, Fu Manchu… some killer bands have been through here over the years. I was also struck by how nice and clean Albuquerque seemed. I would later find out that the town is ranked in the top five for violent crimes in the US. Okay then, never mind.

Played with a rad band called Roñoso. Weirdest guitar tone ever but it totally worked in their crust-saw sound. Kylesa sounds fucking huge tonight. Their (hilarious) sound guy Dave is working the system like it owes him money… and it probably does.

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Mere hours before Gojira played the best show of 2009, our friends at Metal Injection interview G to the Jira main man Joe Duplantier, and even got him to pick his favorite metal videos. No shock: the man has good taste. So, needless to say, this is pretty awesome.

Vince’s own interview with Joe should go up sometime next week. You’ll wanna read that, too. Trust me.

-AR

Thrice are something of an enigma, a band that’s refused to ever stay the same. The Irvine, CA-based foursome started out as a metal-influenced heavy punk band that incorporated more and more progressive elements into their music with each album. 2005′s Vheissu took a complete left turn by adding indie and electronic elements, a path down which the band ventured even further on their 2007/2008 4-part album suite The Alchemy Index. Beggars, their latest offering, incorporates all of their prior influences and stretches their indie wings still wider, still experimenting with new sounds and expanding their fanbase.

A few weeks ago I spoke with drummer Riley Breckenridge about the band’s constantly evolving career arc, public and critical perception of this change, the new album Beggars and its super-early leak, consuming music in the digital age, and what the band hopes to accomplish in the near and distant future. Our chat follows.

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Have you ever listened to Tool? Have you ever listened to Tool… on weed??? Have you ever listened to Tool played on a piano by one man… on weed???

This is pretty fucking incredible. The fact that composer Adam Monroe was able to create a piano rendition of “Lateralus” is pretty impressive. That his version doesn’t just ape the original but includes a whole lot of his own flair is really fucking impressive. And the fact that he sings on top of it and nails the performance of this epic song is just… wow. I really can’t fathom how he stays on top of three different rhythms and melody lines all at once — left hand, right hand, vocals. This is no small feat given Tool’s penchant for having each instrument do its own thing, only each guy in Tool only has to focus on his own part while this guy is doing everything at once. You know those crazy buskers you see on the street sometimes who play drums with their feet, sing, and play two different instruments with their hands? It’s like that. Unbelievable.

-VN

Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s just sad. Sad that this band, The Flood, thinks they’re actually doing something original. Sad that they don’t realize they’re ripping off Tool in every way except they aren’t nearly as good. The press release I got about this band says they just wrapped up a tour Static X… hopefully they’ll go right out on another one so I don’t have to ever cross paths with either shitty band again. Jeez. This band is just downright offensive.

-VN

This past Saturday night, Vince and Axl bought tickets to hipster-douche fest All Points West with the express purpose of seeing Tool and Tool only. There was a serious and very visible divide in the crowd – namely, other metalheads vs. people who think Interpol is cool  – and your MetalSucks editors were privy to some pretty funny dialogue as a result:

1. “I think they’re called, like, ‘Tools?’”
2. <robot voice>”Intergalactic, planetary. Planetary, intergalactic.” </robot voice>
3. Beat-boxing.
4. “Gogol Bordello are awesome.”
5. “Please don’t block my view of the stage.”
6. “There won’t be any moshing. Look at all that mud! No one wants to get dirty.”
7. “Where are the fried Oreos?”
8. Scowling at Axl’s Slayer shirt.
9. Scowling at Vince’s Paganfest shirt.
10. “What’s that smell?”

No matter; Tool kicked major ass anyways. It’s like there’s an unspoken agreement between the band and their fans: “You bring the weed. We’ll bring the lasers.”

Here’s Tool at All Points West on Saturday night, performing with special guest drummer Frank Ferrer of Guns N’ Roses fame.

-AR & VN