Cosmo Lee at Invisible Oranges called the below commercial, for next month’s Brainsqueeze Fest, ”the best ad I’ve ever seen for anything,” and it’s hard to argue with him. The spot is clever, funny, understand its target audience, and, oh yeah, small detail, makes it clear what it’s selling long before the product logo actually appears on screen. (Although, truth be told, it’s so damn good that even if it turned out to be an ad for Garnier Fructis, or Axe Body Spray, or Maximum Douche, or any other number of products, I probably would have purchased that item.)

I suspect that at least some of the ad’s success stems from the fact that it is truly DIY — it was made, in part, by musicians and indie label peeps involved with the fest. So its creators actually have a passion for what they’re selling, as opposed to some Madison Avenue executive whose attitude is ostensibly, “We’re being paid to shill for this product that no one actually needs and that doesn’t really do anything, so let’s not-so-subtly tell the viewer that his or her life sucks and will cease sucking only when they buy this useless piece of shit.” You should head over to Invisible Oranges to learn all the ins and outs of who did what — but I will tell you that the ten year old is MetalSucks’ favorite prepubescent blogger. No, I don’t mean Ziltoid.

Ads like this one can exist today because television is no longer required for broadcasting. That’s the good news. The bad news is, I don’t think this spot will ever actually run on T.V. But holy shit, it would be awesome if it did.

Brainsqueeze Fest takes place October 8 and 9 Oakland. The line-up is pretty killer, and includes Municipal Waste, Cannabis Corpse, Toxic Holocaust, Ghoul, and more. Get details and tickets here.

-AR

Actually the song in this video is called “Lord of the Wasteland,” but I wanted to do my usual put-the-song-title-in-the-headline bullshit. So I cheated. Sue me.

ANYWAY, Toxic Holocaust and Municipal Waste, two bands that certainly both have a sense of humor, are playing here in New York on Earth Day next week; unfortunately I can’t make it (although I think MS will represented at the show by Antonin Skullia, Esq.). The show is most certainly going to be better than Avatard, which comes out DVD the same day (My local Best Buy is advertising a special midnight release party for the Smurf movie’s arrival; if I walk by there in the hours prior and see anyone lined up and as though OHMYFUCKINGGODWHATIFTHEYDON’THAVEENOUGHCOPIESOFTHEAVATARDDVD?!?!?, I’m going to give them a titty twister.) But at least I can watch Toxic Holocaust play live via the footage in this video! And I don’t even need stupid glasses to enjoy it! (I mean besides the stupid glasses I always have to wear in order to see. But not another pair of glasses on top of that.)

Find out if you’re luckier than me and can go see these dudes live – check out their current tour dates. “Lord of the Wasteland” appears on the album An Overdose of Death…, which is out now on Relapse.

-AR

A couple weeks ago, I did an interview with Metal Injection for a retrospective on the highlights, trends, and cultural significance of the heavy music scene from an insider’s perspective concerning the last ten years. Near the end of the interview, I was asked if there were any sub-genres or trends that I didn’t like, or that seemed to get on my nerves. I thought about it for a minute, and generally annoying things like nu-metal or screamo or stale metalcore just seemed obvious and an easy target, when something dawned on me. I was generally annoyed by the whole ReThrash scene.

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Did you know that if you eat before you start slamming shots, you’ll get a little less drunk, but you’ll also have something to vomit up later? It’s true. Also, sometimes when you smoke weed, you get the munchies. These are just two great reasons why you should care about Hellbent for Cooking: The Heavy Metal Cookbook by Annick “Morbid Chef” Giroux. Showcasing “a varied menu of over a hundred recipes from thirty countries,” Hellbent for Cooking features recipes by members of Accept, Anthrax, Anvil, Armored Saint, Brutal Truth, Death, Electric Wizard, Eyehategod, Gwar, Judas Priest, Kreator, Mayhem, Melechesh, Nuclear Assault, Obituary, Repulsion, Saint Vitus, Sepultura, Sigh, S.O.D., Slough Feg, Thin Lizzy, Toxic Holocaust, and about a trillion others (you can get a complete list of contributing bands here).

MetalSucks is teaming up with Bazillion Points Publishing to give away three (3) copies of Hellbent for Cooking. All you have to do to win is create a picture that somehow connects metal to food and post a link to someplace we can view said picture in the comments section below. Use Photoshop to create an image of Lemmy eating a hot dog, use MS Paint to do a portrait of Metallica as the pepperonis on a pizza, whatever you want – it just has to be both food and metal related, and it has to amuse us. Vince and I will choose the three pics that make us laugh the hardest and those pics’ creators win the book.

This contest will end at midnight EST on Monday, December 14. Please note that this contest is open to U.S. residents only, as shipping costs are a bitch. And if you’re too lazy to participate, you can always just order a copy of the book here.

Good luck, and good eats…

-AR

I can’t even believe that shit like this still happens in America in 2009, but that’s progress for you. Reader Andrew Morales sent us a link to this story from the Examiner – which I gather is either a Christian publication, or one where the reporters are very, very biased – that reports on a controversy brewing with regards to Toxic Holocaust and The Black Dahlia Murder playing at a Christian-run venue in Nashville last night. The biased writing of the article makes the whole thing inadvertently hilarious – check out some excerpts:

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With Converge’s critically acclaimed Axe To Fall still commanding the attention of the metallic hardcore faithful, this week’s release of a new album from Belgium’s Rise And Fall could naturally be overlooked. However, that would be to the detriment of those currently enjoying that higher-profile record. An intelligent, intense burst of recorded vehemence, Our Circle Is Vicious–which you can and should buy now–was (like so many Deathwish Inc. albums) produced by Converge’s Kurt Ballou and stands as a considerable improvement on 2005′s Into Oblivion. Listen to “Built On Graves” and “In Circles” at the band’s MySpace page.

The band play a few U.S. shows this week before heading back to Europe for a month-long tour with Iron Age, whose recent album The Sleeping Eye we streamed back in August and is on Vince’s “Best Of 2009″ shortlist. That tour culminates in Rise And Fall’s hometown of Gent, with a final show that also features Goatwhore, Skeletonwitch and Toxic Holocaust. The band will wrap up 2009 with a December tour through Australia, only to kick of the new year with a few gigs with labelmates The Hope Conspiracy. All dates are below.

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I listened to The Infection over the weekend for the first time in a little while. Guess what? Still kills. I can’t wait to see some of this shit played live.

Here’s a not-so-great quality bootleg of the band playing the first cut off the album, “The Venom Inside.” As Vince says, “This song just makes me happy.” What a killer way to open the show. Sounds like the crowd is almost as loud as Mark Hunter.

Friendly reminder: Chimaira are on tour right now with Hatebreed, Dying Fetus, Toxic Holocaust and Winds of Plague. Then they head to Europe in September with Unearth, Throwdown, and our friends in Daath. You can get all the tour dates here.

-AR

Straight out of the heavy music mecca that is Providence, Rhode Island, Howl kick so much ass that it’s not really funny but actually rather serious on account of the aforementioned painful ass kickings. Relapse recently released the band’s self-titled three-song EP, which is streaming at Howl’s MySpace and available to purchase here They’re heavy, unpretentious, and not easily pigeonholed into any one of the bandied about subgenres in this grand thing we call metal. I’ll leave it to the opinionated chicken-chokers that make it their lives’ work to define metal in our comments section, but I’d say if the adjective “sludgy” sounds appealing then you’re going to want to get in on the ground floor with Howl before they’re headlining bigger venues.

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