MetalSucks

I found the following quote from a recent interview with Gene Simmons to be (inadvertently) hilarious:

“This is electric church, and no one on that stage — me or anyone else — wears the makeup and platform heels by some kind of birthright. This ain’t Europe; just ’cause your dad was king doesn’t make you the king. You’ve got to earn it. And when you defile KISS, you should be thrown out.”

Gene is referring to dudes like Ace Frehley, Peter Criss and Vinnie Vincent, of course. But I have to wonder what he thinks they did that was worse than this:

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Vinnie Vincent is something of our patron saint here at the MS Mansion. If ever there was a shredder this side of Kerry King whose solos went absolutely nowhere but GODDAMN did they do it fast, that man was Vinnie Vincent. Matter of fact, there’s a life-size bronze bust of the one-time Kiss axe-slinger that greets Mansion visitors as they step into our front yard foyer bathroom urinal closet. 

You shoulda seen the look on Axl’s face when MS Maniac Steve S. sent in this video of Vinnie, well, being Vinnie. Last time I saw Axl get this excited was when MS Mansion Monkey extraordinaire Higgins stumbled upon a website specializing in midget torture porn. True story. But let’s save that one for a different time.

I love how this video is titled “Speed, style & phrasing,” as if there’s one iota of phrasing involved anywhere in this entire clip. After the jump, check out another clip of Vincent doing some intense guitar canoodling live; like everything else the man ever did, it’s completely over the top.

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Revolver has their annual “Hottest Chicks in Metal” issue, which is great if you’re Revolver and want to sell an assload of copies to horny teens and unhappily married men you want to oggle at semi-hot babes that you’ll never have. But for those just looking for a little shot in the arm of self-esteem, Ruthless Reviews presents The 10 Ugliest Men In Heavy Metal History, a list that’s sure to get you feeling pretty good about your chances of gettin’ lucky tonight. Appropriately, the top 3 (none of whom are pictured at right) are all men whose beauty factor we’ve commented on before, and #1 is highly MetalSucks-approved in his own right.

-VN