As we mentioned last week, Guitar World recently roasted Zakk Wylde, and managed to snag a cavalcade of stars to help ‘em out, including Rob Halford, Duff McKagan, Corey Taylor, Scott Ian, and comedians Brian Posehn and Jim Florentine. One dude who did not make an appearance at the event, however, was Jim Breuer, a comedian who, like Posehn and Florentine, has earned a reputation for being metal friendly over the years.

So why didn’t Breuer show up to join in on the fun? According to a recent appearance on The Opie & Anthony Show, it’s because he finds Wylde deplorable. It seems that a few years back, Wylde attempted to recruit Breuer to help him out with an idea for a television show which would have somehow combined rock and sketch comedy — and Breuer’s experience with the guitarist was exactly F WNDBWA. Some of the more charming behavior in which Wylde indulged while working with Breuer includes:

• Screaming about “chinks” in a Chinese restaurant while his wife, Barbaranne, insisted she was concerned with protecting Zakk’s “image.”
• Choking some dude with a chain.
• Pissing on the windshield of his own truck.
• Claiming to be sober when he is clearly anything but.

You can listen to Breuer’s entire story — which, really, if you’ve ever read anything about Zakk Wylde, is not at all surprising — in the below video, starting around the 1:47:40 mark:

In other Zakk/Roast news, our bro-bros at Metal Injection sent the always hilarious Johnny Orlando Jr. to cover the Red Carpet at the event. You can watch video of that coverage right here.

-AR

Thanks to the anonymous reader who sent this in!

So Guitar World roasted Zakk Wylde last week, and now a video of one of the roaster’s, uh, roasting has made its way online, and holy poopsicles, was I ever excited to watch said video. ‘Cause it’s by The Ultimate Warrior, who wasn’t just one of my favorite professional wrestlers when I was still a wrestling fan, but has also been the source of a lot of (mostly inadvertent, I think) comedy, both in his prime as a star of the WWF/WWE/whatever, and more recently as a personal trainer for terrible bands.

Unfortunately, The Warrior — or whomever wrote his roast material for him (assuming he used an outside writer or writers) — blew it. I mean, roasting Zakk Wylde should be like shooting fish in a barrel — hell, we’ve practically made our living doing it here at MetalSucks. And yet, the vast majority of the gag in The Warrior’s video is that Zakk Wylde owns an Ultimate Warrior edition of one of those old Wrestling Buddies stuffed pillow thingies, and the Wrestling Buddy is mad at Zakk because… I dunno, I fell asleep. That’s not even a funny premise, and the video goes on for more than four minutes. Sheesh.

Presumably more video footage from the event will be released soon, and hopefully some of the other roasters — including Rob Halford, Duff McKagan, Corey Taylor, Scott Ian, Brian Posehn, Steel Panther, Jim Florentine, Gus G., “Stone Cold” Steven Austin, and, of course, the Osbournes — had better material to work with. Guitar World‘s non-video recap of the event would certainly suggest that this was the case.

-AR

[via Metal Insider]

So the young ‘uns might not remember this, but back in 1995, following the release of Ozzmosis, Zakk Wylde actually had to bow out of Ozzy Osbourne’s touring group. The reason? ‘Cause Mr. Wylde was busy waiting to see if he got the second guitarist spot in the then-biggest band in the world, Guns N’ Roses. GN’R's original rhythm guitarist, Izzy Stradlin, had quit in ’91, and his replacement, Gilby Clarke, was fired in ’94; the band was having a hard time filling the slot (an issue which apparently ended up being a major factor in Slash’s eventual decision to leave the group), and Axl Rose got it into his head that having a second lead guitarist would be a great idea, and would “push” the two axe slingers to challenge themselves in new and interesting ways (a theory Rose continues to test in his current version of Guns). In hindsight, this was probably a terrible idea, but at the time, when word got out that Wylde was jamming with GN’R, everyone was all excited by the possibility.

I’m not quite sure why it didn’t work out between Wylde and GN’R (Rose says that Slash refused to share the spotlight with a second lead guitarist, Slash says that Wylde was too impatient to wait for Rose to get his shit together), but last week fans got a kinda-sorta glimpse of a what a Wylde GN’R might have sounded like when the guitarist, whose Black Label Society was opening for Rose and company, hopped up on stage with the band to perform a cover of AC/DC’s “Whole Lotta Rosie.” Metal Insider has found multiple fan-filmed videos of the event, one of which I’ve re-posted below; it’s actually pretty amazing, ’cause Wylde doesn’t use a single guitar squeal the entire time. I wonder if that was one of Rose’s conditions when allowing him to perform with GN’R?

And since we’re on the topic of Zakk Wylde almost joining Guns N’ Roses in the mid-90s, here’s a video of Wylde and Slash jamming on Jimi Hendrix’s “Voodoo Child” from roughly that same time period. Hearing the way these two trade licks and interact with one another might actually give you a better sense of how GN’R could have sounded had Wylde actually ended up in the band. Enjoy:

Click to read more…

I have finally reached the point where I can’t even muster outrage or disappointment over Zakk Wylde’s career choices. Twenty years ago, I probably would have lept from an airplane without a ‘chute if the dude had asked me to. Ten years ago, if he had announced that he was doing a guest spot on, say, a new Dope record, I would have wept hot, burning tears of anger and betrayal. Now, it’s been announced that he’ll contribute a solo to the new EP by Black Veil Brides — a band whose music ranks somewhere in-between anal warts and sensitivity training with Phil Labonte on the list of “Things I Hope to Avoid” — and I can’t even muster a shrug. Like, I tried to shrug, and my shoulder muscles were all, “Dude, don’t even waste the energy.” And so here I sit, shrugless.

Click to read more…

I’m way pumped that Steel Panther’s Balls Out album broke the Top 40 for first-week sales. That is awesome and it brings reality one teeny notch closer to my dream of a Ozzfest-sized mega-glam festival curated by SPanther and friends. In my fantasyworld, the bill would mix glory-era acts that still rip (Cinderella, Kix, Winger), now-dormant underdogs from that time (Junkyard, Dangerous Toys, Love/Hate), super-special events (Ozzy, Zakk, Geezer, and Vinny play all of No Rest For The Wicked; the returns of Badlands, Blue Murder, and Bonham) and most vitally a bunch of great, young glam bands like Crazy Lixx, The Last Vegas, and Crashdiet. This historic fest would hail the genre’s redwoods and fertilize its saplings for tomorrow’s party metal forests. Um yeah. And absolutely, positively no Eddie Trunk LOL.

But for now, the reality is that Sweden’s brightest glam light Crashdiet is in Los Angeles to kick off a run of West Coast dates (info here). Fuckin’ A right they are. The Little Glam Metal Band That Could looks ready to party in hair metal Graceland (above, with beardo), so expect some big-boner performances this week. Let’s consider it dress rehearsal for Steel Panther and MetalSucks’ MEGA-BONER FEST L.A. 2015. See you there!

-ADF

Get awesome Crashdiet tourdates here and records here. 

William Shatner’s cover of “Iron Man” is the worst thing ever despite — or maybe, in part, because of — guitars by Zakk Wylde. So Metal Insider‘s assertion that the below video of Shatner recording vocals for that cover is better than the actual cover itself is dead on. Remember when we saw The Shat giving Zakk Wylde all these kinds of ridiculous, pretentious directions that couldn’t possibly be applied to the performance in any kind of tangible way? Well, his own approach to the vocals is only slightly less silly. In fact, I’m starting to think (hope?) that maybe the joke is on all of us — maybe Shatner KNOWS he’s being funny.

Or maybe I’m giving him too much credit.

Watch below and make up your own mind.

-AR

To help promote their upcoming tour, on October 11 Judas Priest will release The Chosen Few, their umpteenth career retrospective, and one which does not feature any new material. The Chosen Few does have a hook, though — I mean, beyond the fact that the band members appear on the cover only as silhouettes, I assume at least in part to downplay the fact that a certain key member is no longer in the group.

No, the hook  (and this is actually a neat idea) is that the band has let a lot of other celebrity musicians — including Ozzy, Lemmy, James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich, Kerry King, Slash, and Vinnie Paul  – choose which songs would appear on the collection. And, yeah, it’s interesting to know that Zakk Wylde is way into “Grinder,” and and that Randy Blythe and David Coverdale might actually have something to talk about at a cocktail party, and that Joe Satriani likes his Priest heavier than I might have suspected.

But like I said, there’s no new material here, so I can’t quite imagine why anyone would want this album anyway. The coolest thing about The Chosen Few is seeing which dude chose which song, and you can do that after the jump. So, look, we just saved you ten bucks.

Click to read more…

When we first heard about William Shatner and Zakk Wylde’s cover of “Iron Man” in February, I made fun of The Shat for thinking that following direction would somehow increase the quality of Wylde’s performance:

“Finally, he’s dying… and this is like hell for him… he is dying in hell. Now, if that adds any character to what you’re playing… if it becomes more stark, more hell…”

Now that I’ve heard the song, though, I realize I owe Shatner a massive apology. This version of the Sabbath classic does, indeed, feel like dying in hell.

Revolver Mag debut William Shatner Iron man feat. Zakk Wylde by Cleopatra Records

I have no idea when the rest of the album will be released, but when I see the Four Horseman racing across the landscape, I’ll know to check iTunes.

-AR

Even if I haven’t exactly been thrilled with Slash’s post-Guns N’ Roses output, I never thought his guitar playing got bad; listening to No More Tears over the weekend, I was struck (again) by the fact that Zakk Wylde’s playing has become a parody of itself, but Slash still seems to have an endless arsenal of killer guitar solos left in him. If the dude could just get Izzy Stradlin to write him some decent songs, I have little doubt that the man would be able to turn me back into a fanboy faster than you can say “Saul Hudson.”

Case in point: “Kick it Up a Notch,” a new song Slash has recorded with a couple of cartoon characters. And, no, I don’t mean Axl Rose and Scott Weiland.

Click to read more…

We at MetalSucks got first crack at a Q&A with leukemia survivor Adam “Nergal” Darski in late March, at which point the Behemoth frontman sounded pumped for a return to action but still in the early stages of recovery; that is to say, the spirit was willing but the flesh weak, like in that Sting song. Since then, we tireless reporters/nosy jerks have been keeping two eyes on Nergal’s progress on the path to his band’s upcoming shows in October and, natch, to a lasting recovery.

And so we thank Hatebreed singer Jamey Jasta for sharing a pic (above) of himself and Nergal (probably) at the Metal Hammer Golden Gods Awards in London on Monday, at which Behemoth took home the Metal As Fuck award over Slipknot, Slayer, Deftones (?), and Zakk Wylde. For that big win, for his birthday on Friday, and mostly for his good and improving health, we say cheers brah! Win!

-ADF

Go here for info on how to help the battle against Leukemia. Here you can order Behemoth’s Abyssus Abyssum Invocat, a collection of out-of-print EPs Conjuration (2003) and Slaves Shall Serve (2005), live bonus tracks, lyrics, and new artwork.

Uhh…

Uhh…

Uhh…

Huh?

-AR

Jamey Jasta’s Jasta is out Jastaly 26 via eJasta Jastas.

American Idol week 13

Wed The final eight perform famous movie songs. Gosh thrilling concept, guys.

Thur Live results + lots of fast-forwarding

Misery Index Shut up shut up shut up all of you!

Tyler-o-meter “I am fucked up right now!”

Hey friends! This week, let’s check out the Idol Remains mailbag! The first comment comes from the nice person who does my boss:

Hi Anso, It’s me Metalgf. I am Vince [Neilstein]’s girlfriend and a fan of Idol. I also saw Idol taped live earlier this year, as you may recall. I am just a mess over the results. Pia [the pageant singer] was so much better than so many other Losers on this show. I HATE James Durbin and Paul [McDonald] is fine but not Idol material, Laura [the winner] is a snooze factory and Haley [Reinhart] is nothing to write home about. Stefano [Dimples] is just a pretty face. Pia and Jacob [Down With Jesus] and maybe Casey Beardo have real talent. But MOSTLY PIA. She was the best. I think I will stop watching the show now. I am just so disappointed and it’s just ridiculous. I obviously, as usual, do not agree with America at large. Our tastes differ more than I ever imagined.

Hi Metalgf, it’s me Anso. I am Vince’s um “silent admirer” and not a fan of Idol. You’re so right that it seems like Pia and Jacob are talented. But do you agree that it’s natural for many viewers to decline any further full-tilt caterwauling from these two? I mean, taken as a whole, the performances of each resemble that movie Titanic if it consisted only of the big finale on a loop until the viewer must stop watching. And now, people are starting to stand up and file out on Pia and, god willing, pitch-weak Jacob too. I guess it’s not about who’s best. That’s why Steve Vai isn’t the world’s most popular guitarist. Superhugz! Thanks for reading!

Click to read more…

Zakk Wylde appeared on American Idol last night, accompanying contestant James Turbin on a cover of Sammy Hagar’s “Heavy Metal,” ’cause, I dunno, I guess he felt like he had too much cred left.

We’re not going to try and give you any actual detailed analysis of this blessed event, though, because, well… that’s why we have ”Idol Remains,” Anso DF’s stupefyingly entertaining weekly re-cap of the show! Anso suffers so we don’t have to… and, besides, his writing is far more enjoyable than the program itself. Just check out these rave reviews!

“‘Idol Remains’ make me sad I’m not actually on the show anymore :( :( :(”
-Paula Abdul

“‘Idol Remains’ is so good it, it makes me wish I could actually sing!”
-Phil LaBonte

“Where am I? Who’s talking? Hello? Is there anyone there?”
-Ozzy Osbourne

So what are you waiting for? Catch up on all of Anso’s “Idol Remains” here. His latest installment will run tomorrow afternoon!!!

No guitar pedal is more well-known and widely used (or over-used if you’re Kirk Hammett) than the Cry Baby wah-wah. If you’ve got some time, dig into this new hour-long documentary on the Wah that started it all and its lasting effect on music, which our Brohemoths at Metal Injection posted over the weekend. Interviews with Eddie Van Halen, Jerry Cantrell, Slash, Kirk Hammett and Zakk Wylde should make it interesting for staunch metalheads while interviews with dozens of other guitar luminaries will delight your inner guitar-nerd.

Oh, what’s that? You’re not made of time? Make sure you at least watch the 2-minute intro sequence in which grown men do their best to vocally imitate the sound of the pedal. Because nothing says “metal” like a 65 year-old dude making funny noises with his mouth. Also, Eddie Van Halen officially sounds like he’s 153 years old.

After the jump, the official description of the documentary:

Click to read more…

Not you after today

In the past few years, my group of friends has come to include a bunch of fancy-pants musicians-for-hire. They get majorly paid for backing gigs and session work cuz they execute on their instruments with nuclear precision. And it’s great hanging out with them for their big shot habits of picking up every check and throwing exquisite summer parties. You want that — we all do. But maybe you don’t have the time to, say, top your class at Juilliard or grind out a degree from Berklee. Hey, even if you did, you’d just as soon end up posting internet clips of yourself blasting through BTBAM runs and Hammerfall solos unless you move to West Hollywood and starve for two years. Meh.

Well, here’s good news! You can still get chicks horny and sound good enough for Youtube and hold up to passing scrutiny and possibly even land a gig in a million-selling metal band! Unlike violin, for example, guitar isn’t that hard to fake provided you master picking fast and good pitch on bends. To play Steve Vai, you’d have to match his regimen of 23 daily practice hours; for the following face-melters — ear-friendly, multi-leveled solos every one — all that’s required is like 23 total minutes. Let’s call it the Hammett Workout. Not everybody is “Under A Glass Moon” material, but just approximate these imprecise, jabby solos and I swear you’ll look cool! Check it:

Click to read more…

In 1968, Gary Moore (above, top left) was just 16 years old when he joined future Thin Lizzy frontman Phil Lynott in the Dublin blues-rock quartet Skid Row*. So, Moore was a charter member of the Society of Overachieving Teen Guitarists that would later include Steve Vai (19, Frank Zappa), Zakk Wylde (19, Ozzy Osbourne), and Devin Townsend (19, Steve Vai). Pretty elite company.

After a pair of short stints in Thin Lizzy, Moore again reunited with Lynott in 1979 for the band’s seminal Black Rose: A Rock Legend (see Axl Rose’s Black Rose-themed tattoo here, upper left). More than twenty solo albums followed, including 2008’s Bad For You Baby.

British tabloid The Sun reports that Moore, 58, was discovered unresponsive by medical staff in a Spain hotel suite where there were “definite signs of alcohol.” The Sun also quotes a source at the hotel who has stated that Moore “seemed fine when he left [the hotel bar] around 11 pm.” A post mortem has been scheduled.

After the jump, check out the MetalSucks round up of tributes to Moore by members of Obituary, Opeth, Black Flag, Testament, Black Sabbath, and mo(o)re.

Click to read more…

As promised, last night’s Super Bowl saw the debut of a Best Buy commercial starring Justin Bieber and our favorite sexagenarian celebrity slut, Ozzy Osbourne (whose last product endorsement commercial was released less than a month ago). And the commercial actually turned out to be kinda funny. Not because of the lame jokes about how Ozzy doesn’t understand technology or how Bieber looks like a girl (although I appreciate the acknowledgement that Ozzy has no idea who Bieber is), but, rather, because of the simple but true implication that the Biebers of the world will soon usurp the Ozzys of the world as Lords of Whoring.

“Ozzy’s in the background!” a crew member complains from off-camera, making explicit that which we were all already thinking anyway; even though he’s a sad, dithering old man, the Ozz Man refuses to leave the set, not because he actually has anything to contribute, but because, goddamnit, he’s got crap to hock!

But Bieber nails it on the first take. He’s the guy who’s gonna be trying to sell you shit for the next however many years, until he’s finally out of touch himself, or the sun dies, whichever comes first. Someone thought to toss in the “Bieber looks like a girl” gag to make sure that the Zakk Wylde chapter of Mensa doesn’t get too offended — “Huh huh, yeah, Bieber’s a fag, huh huh!” — but the subtext of the ad isn’t even subtle.

-AR

The once-great Zakk Wylde and has recorded a new version of “Iron Man” with William Shatner, the Canadian sex symbol and star of National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1. Wylde had nothing to do with the creation of the original “Iron Man,” of course, but he does know Ozzy Osbourne, so it’s appropriate. It’s a real thing.

ANYWAY, in-the-studio footage of this blessed event has now surfaced (above). You get to hear Wylde do lots of guitar squeals, but that’s about as uncommon as taking a breath, so it’s not really the good part of this video. No no no no no no no. The good part of this video comes around the :58 second mark, when Shatner tries to direct Wylde’s performance thusly:

Click to read more…

The once-great Zakk Wylde and has recorded a new version of “Iron Man” with William Shatner, the Canadian sex symbol and star of National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1. Wylde had nothing to do with the creation of the original “Iron Man,” of course, but he does know Ozzy Osbourne, so it’s appropriate. It’s a real thing.

ANYWAY, in-the-studio footage of this blessed event has now surfaced (above). You get to hear Wylde do lots of guitar squeals, but that’s about as uncommon as taking a breath, so it’s not really the good part of this video. No no no no no no no. The good part of this video comes around the :58 second mark, when Shatner tries to direct Wylde’s performance thusly:

Click to read more…

Well here’s a pair of tweets from William Shatner — yes, that William Shatner — which will most certainly catch you off-guard:

I don’t even know what to say about this. I’m not offended because at this point I really don’t care what Zakk Wylde does, but I am kinda worried about the guy. I don’t know if he’s really hard up for money or is a just a huge fan of the Esperanto classic Incubus or what, but… I know that this is no less ridiculous than something Ozzy would do, but I think that Ozzy was about ten years older than Zakk when he started embarrassing himself this badly. So I guess I’m just saying that Zakk should slow his roll, y’know? He’s got years and years left yet to convince us that No More Tears was a fluke.

-AR

[via Metal Underground]