The older I get the last attached I become to material possessions. It all started when I moved three years ago and had the epiphany that lugging multiple gigantic boxes of CDs around with me for life was pointless when I could enjoy all that music just the same on one device the size of a small book. Since then, getting rid of shit has become something of an obsession; it’s gotten to the point where I’m actively and constantly trying to get rid of all but the stuff I really need in my day-to-day life. Only problem is that I’m way too sentimental and can’t bare to part with certain items (like the signed Brian Schneider baseball that’s sitting on my desk! wtf do I need this thing for?). But I’m getting there, slowly and surely.

Back in my less curmudgeonly days I surely would’ve drooled all over my keyboard at the news of the above Ziltoid puppet, available through Devin Townsend’s UK webshop. I admit, it IS pretty fucking cool, so while I don’t feel like I need yet another item that’ll sit on a shelf collecting dust that won’t stop me from buying it as a gift for a fellow DT lover and item collector. If you’re a girl, maybe this would make a great holiday gift for your metalhead guy; imagine all the sexy-time role play fun you can have with this! Actually… yuck.

-VN

[via Heavy Blog]

I’ve never been to Australia, but everyone I have ever met from there — literally, every single Australian I have ever known in my life (and I’ve known a surprising amount of Australians) — has been cool. I know it started as a penal colony, but at some point the prisoners must have just, like, smoked mad doobs or something, because Australians are awesome people.

That being said, I do not give enough of a fuck about Australia to post about shows in Australia… normally. I’ll make an exception for this video promoting Devin Townsend’s upcoming appearance  on the Aussie’s Soundwave Revolution festival, though, because Ziltoid (the real Ziltoid, not Zilty Wilty) is in it.

And that’s it. If you don’t like this, you’re a spazz.

-AR

Everyone knows that a band’s first album is always their best and everything thereafter sucks. It is not possible for a band to get better with time, especially if they’ve signed with a record label. Just ask Ziltoid, everyone’s favorite Interhole metal troll.

Ziltoid was all over the nuts of Cormorant just last year and first brought them to our attention when he interviewed Arthur Von Nagel on the day he took over MS. Now, I’m not spiteful (ok sometimes) and I’ll give credit where it’s due; Cormorant are a good band, and Ziltoid definitely made us aware of them. Metazoa was a rockin’ album, fer sure, and I’m quite impressed that it was completely self-funded and entirely DIY.

So now it’s a whole year and three months later — which in Troll Time is like an eternity — and Cormorant have announced that they’ll be entering the studio in early 2011 to record a new album.

Click to read more…

Graphic for the Rock Band Network Ziltoid by Rohan Voigt, who is also doing the Ziltoid comic

I haven’t picked up my colored-button toy guitar in some time, but here’s something which may very well motivate me to play Rock Band again. From Devin Townsend’s official Facebook page:

Good news, right? But wait! It gets even better!

Click to read more…

We at MetalSucks shed a collective tear when Devin Townsend announced he’d shaved his trademark skullet a couple of years back, but rejoiced when he announced this past Fall that he’d soon be working on a new Ziltoid album and that the next generation Ziltoid puppet would inherit Devy’s locks of nasty grease love.

In a video posted over the weekend by the aptly named “poopynuggeteer” (aka Devy himself) Devin unveils the skullet from the box in which it had been resting in peace, and affixes it to Ziltoid’s putrid skull; and I gotta say, it suits Zilty extremely well! He looks ravishing. We also get a sample of what we can assume is new music from Z2; and it sounds likes it’s going to be as cooky and brutal as the original.

-VN

Thanks: Pink-croc fashion model Metal Mykee

The REAL Ziltoid has arrived on earth from Ziltoidia IX and left a message with us in the form a video on Devin Townsend’s YouTube account!

Devin told us there’d be a new Ziltoid album on the way when he took over MetalSucks for a day last Fall, so we can only assume work on Z2 has begun… or at the very least is on Devy’s brain.  I’d imagine (and hope) that he’ll finish up Parts 3 and 4 of the Devin Townsend Project suite before moving on to the next Ziltoid record, but who knows; Devy’s mind works in mysterious (and brilliant) ways. Said Devy about Z2 back in November:

In the new record, it’s real drums, orchestra, choirs etc… a REAL doozy…

And the hair I used to have? The skullet?

It’s in a box and Ziltoid, the next generation puppet, gets it.

Watch him rock folks, there’s nothing he won’t do.

I’d love to be a fly on the wall when Devin records these things. Think there’s any kind of loose script or he just completely wings it?

“I hate your balls! They swing pendulously like two ostrich eggs in a turkey skin!”

-VN

For those who may’ve missed the constant plugs in our comments section over the past few weeks, everyone’s favorite hater-for-the-sake-of-hating Ziltoid is now lending his scribbling skills to the MS Maniac GroverXIII-helmed metal blog The Number of the Blog.

Let me repeat that: Ziltoid is blogging. Get your haterade out, Suckalos and Suckalettes.

Apparently the day we let Ziltoid run MetalSucks was just the tip of the iceberg as far as learning about ridiculous bands he thinks are cool such as \\\Maytag. Since it’s a slow news day today, I decided to mosey on over to Number of the Blog to see what old Zilty is up to. The very first Ziltoid-penned post I stumbled upon is about how the Pokemon video games are metal.

Let me repeat that: Ziltoid thinks Pokemon is metal. Pokemon is the tr00est of the tr00, the kvltest of the kvlt, the ultimate standard of metal superiority (because Zilty only listens to the very best music) to which we should all aspire.

Lap it up, kids.

-VN

I am working on my first, full blown musical… and yes (much to some folks’ chagrin), it’s a new Ziltoid record. It going to be called Z2, and I’m taking it to the moon.

Click to read more…

Thanks to Mike H. for sending this in.

-AR