THE WORST NEWS I’VE HEARD IN MONTHS: GUITAR HERO ENCORE: ROCKS THE 80s NOT AVAILABLE FOR THE XBOX 360!

Today is the day. Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80s, the third entry in the already legendary video game series, comes out today. Featuring songs by Poison, Ratt, and Twisted Sister (to name but a few), I’d pretty much planned my entire month of August around playing this game. Seriously. I told my girlfriend we couldn’t hang out for a few weeks and everything. Do you know the vast quantity of drugs I purchased? And Chef Boyardee and Cup O’ Noodles? I was ready, dude. Just gonna lock myself in the apartment and play ’til my fingers bleed.

Well, fuck me naked with a spoon: the fucking thing is only being released for the Play Station 2, and I own a fucking XBOX 360. So now I can’t play the damn thing until some bung hole at Activision comes to his or her senses and releases the game in multiple formats. I can try and console myself with the game’s mixed reviews, but who am I kidding? I want this fucking game so bad, my fingers ache just thinking about it.
Fuck, fuck, FUCK. Does anyone know if you can return Cup O’ Noodles?

-AR