OZZY REALLY IS NEVER GONNA STOPAccording to The Gauntlet, Ozzy Osbourne has told reporters that he will return to headline Ozzfest ’08.

Our initial reaction? “Who gives a shit?!” Every year it seems like there’s a rumor that Ozzy will finally retire and Sharon will try to keep Ozzfest moving without him – and every year he returns, his voice a little less strong, his ability to answer the questions “Where the fuck am I? And who the fuck are all these people?!” a little weaker.

Seriously: seeing Ozzy on Ozzfest is, at this point, pretty much just a bonus to the day’s activities – not the reason you go to the concert. I don’t mean to be disrespectful to what the Wizard of Ozz has accomplished in the past, but seeing an aging, semi-senile man who’s barely able to warble through his catalogue while occasionally stopping to do the frog-hop isn’t exactly my idea of an electrifying live performance; the poor guy is, at this point, almost entirely dependent on Zakk Wylde to give his stage show any presence whatsoever. As a matter of fact, I’d be curious to see how many people actually ask for refunds for those (very many) Ozzfest tour stops when the Prince of Darkness cancels his appearance ’cause Sharon doesn’t understand that someone his age probably can’t sing five nights in a row. I’d bet the number is pretty low, actually.


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