Cinemetal

THE TEN BEST METAL VIDEOS FOR HALLOWEEN

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I hate Halloween. I mean, I guess I don’t mind it in theory, but here in NYC, there’s this huge parade every year that makes it virtually impossible to cross Sixth Avenue all night, which is a real bitch, ’cause I live on one side of Sixth but work on the other – so, sooner or later, I’m gonna hafta try and find a way across. Basically, my evening turns into the most irritating game of Frogger, like, ever.

ANYWAY, here’s ten metal videos that, for whatever reason, strike me as Halloween appropriate. Enjoy.

10) ILL NINO, “HOW CAN I LIVE”

“How can I suck this bad?” is the question this band should be asking. ANYWAY, this song first appeared on the soundtrack for Freddy Vs. Jason – a movie I found pretty hilarious – and takes place on Elm St., natch. So that’s pretty Halloween, I guess.

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9) GUNS N’ ROSES, “SINCE I DON’T HAVE YOU”

What’s scarier – Gary Oldman playing the role of “Misery,” GN’R doing a doo-wop song, or how fucking bloated Duff McKagan looks in this video? You decide.

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8) KISS, “LICK IT UP”

I know what you’re thinking: “Why would you choose a Kiss video where they’re not wearing their make-up for Halloween?” ‘Cause they look way scarier without the make-up, dude.

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7) CANNIBAL CORPSE, “DEATH WALKING TERROR”

Cannibal Corpse. Zombies. ‘Nuff said.

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6) STRAPPING YOUNG LAD, “LOVE?”

SYL and Evil Dead turned out to be the best combination, like, ever. What this has to do with the song’s subject matter I’m not exactly sure – maybe Devin Townsend is trying to tell us that love is like a horror movie come hideously to life? – but I do love this video.
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5) SLIPKNOT, “SPIT IT OUT”

Whether you love or hate this band, you gotta admit: re-staging The Shining with band members is pretty hilarious. I don’t know who had to be a better sport to make this video: Joey Jordison for using his status as a legal midget to play the kid on the little bicycle, or Jim Root for playing the Shelley Duvall role. Priceless.

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4) OZZY OSBOURNE, “BARK AT THE MOON”

Full confession: I hate this song. And this video is ridiculous. But it’s Ozzy dressed like a werewolf, and you don’t get much more Halloween than that.

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3) ROB ZOMBIE, “LIVING DEAD GIRL”

Of course, any number of videos from the director of Halloween would work, but I’m partial to this one, which is from the Bride of Chucky soundtrack and was clearly designed to be an homage to the German expressionist horror classic The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.

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2) ALICE COOPER, “FEED MY FRANKENSTEIN”

The same way chicks use Halloween as an excuse to dress like sluts, The Godfather of Shock Rock provides this song that seems to be about a monster but is actually about sex. Bonus points for the Wayne’s World footage – will dressing up like Wayne and Garth with a buddy ever get old?

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1) HELLOWEEN, “HALLOWEEN”

As we’d say in the third grade: “duh-hickey.” This one is pretty self-explanatory, no?

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BONUS VIDEO: BLEEDING THROUGH, “KILL TO BELIEVE”

I think I’ve made my feelings about this band pretty clear in the past, but this director has obviously watched a whole lotta Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original – not that shitty remake that came out a few years back), so whatever.

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-AR

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