Look: it’s winter now, so don’t expect us to be in a good mood for at least five months. The fucking cold, the getting dark ridiculously early… these are prime Cannibal Corpse kittie killing months.

But the spring… ahh, the spring! Warm weather, cold beer, girls in ridiculously inappropriate-for-public outfits… and now, Paganfest America.

That’s right: Uncle Axl pulled a fast one on you last week when he was talking about Turisas “hopefully” touring the U.S. someday real soon. See, he already knew what we can now proudly announce: that this spring, Ensiferum, Turisas, Tyr and Eluveitie will be teaming up to bring lucky metalheads all over the country for what’s sure to be one of the most get drunk, burn the venue down, drag your girlfriend to the bedroom by her hair-fantastic tours of 2008: Paganfest America.

That’s right, motherfuckers: this April, leave your leather in the closet and break out the animal hides; toss away your beer bottles and get ready to drink from a stein, motherfuckers. How do you want your meat? BLOODY FUCKING RAW. We’re talking about four bands that combine folksy, progressive elements with the same get-in-the-pit-and-rip-out-someone’s-jugular-with-your-teeth aggression we expect from our metal bands; and, as we’ve noted before, these dudes don’t tour the US very often. In other words: this tour is special, and you don’t wanna miss it.

Tour dates announced so far are as follows:

4/25 – Toronto, ON @ Opera House
4/26 – Montreal, QC @ Medley
4/27 – Worcester, MA @ Palladium
4/28 – Springfield, VA @ Jaxx
4/29 – Cleveland, OH @ Peabody’s
5/05 – Seattle, WA @ Studio Seven
5/10 – Orange County, CA @ California Metalfest
5/15 – Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX @ Ridglea Theater
5/16 – San Antonio, TX @ The White Rabbit

Lots more dates are coming soon, so keep checking back here at MetalSucks or the Paganfest America MySpace page for updates.

This is gonna be killer…

-Your Pagan Friends at MetalSucks

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