Editorials

ALICE COOPER, GOLF MONSTER

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Alice Cooper(In addition to the highly wily ganja,) I’m pretty partial to ppppillz myself, but if alcohol was my vice (oh wait — it is too!) I would now know how to quit. Umm…golf??? According to spiderweb-cellar master darkman Alice Cooper ( Vincent Furnier), “more guys need to be addicted to golf.” Apparantly when Cooper got out of rehab and needed to figure out a way to get over his bottle-of-whiskey-a-day (and then some) drinking habit, he occupied his time by playing a lot of the world’s most boring sport.

“I used to get up in the morning, drink a beer, then another one, and watch The Price Is Right…but when I would wake up puking blood I knew there was something wrong” he explained to Craig Ferguson the other night on a rerun of The Late Late Show, “…and when I got out of rehab, there was just nothing to do. So I started playing golf, and I would play 18 holes in the morning, take a lunch break, play 18 more holes, and then practice for a few hours. I played 36 holes of golf every day for a year.”

I’m proud of Alice for kicking the habit of booze, really I am, but for the record — golf is much more fun when you drink. Seriously.

-KW

Visit Alice Cooper’s website

Visit Alice Cooper on MySpace

Buy Alice’s book — Alice Cooper, Golf Monster: My Twelve Steps To Becoming A Golf Addict

Alice Cooper portrait

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