Editorials

BLACK DAHLIA MURDER TO TEAM UP WITH THE SHINY BROWN TURD

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ZuneYesterday evening a press release arrived at the MetalSucks Mansion that looked a little something this this:

MetalBlade Records act The Black Dahlia Murder(sweet, those guys are cool, what are they up to?)is both Zune’s… — and then I stopped reading. Seriously, someone is actually doing a promotion with that piece of useless crap? After the jump, the rest of the press release in bold, with our own commentary, natch, in plain text.

Michigan-based melodic death metal band The Black Dahlia Murder, one of the most influential artists in the death metal scene today (damn right!) are the latest band to join Zune’s (aka “The Shiny Brown Turd”) “Ignition” and “On The Road” programs (this news is sure to excite the approximately 17 Zune users nationwide). These programs are efforts by Zune to provide extra exposure (through attempting to co-opt a music genre) to the band across multiple Microsoft properties (like the craptastic Internet Explorer) as well as support the band’s upcoming tour schedule.

As part of the Ignition program, The Black Dahlia Murder is offering free and exclusive material on the Zune Marketplace, the newly restocked and redesigned online music store, for the month of January (this must be REALLY exciting to this guy.) These features include:

Zune “Freebie” – free audio track download of “What a Horrible Night to Have a Curse,” from their 2007 release Nocturnal. (gee, that’s nice of them, offer a free download of something that’s been out for months already.)

Zune “Breakdown” – exclusive track-by-track commentary of Nocturnal by vocalist Trevor Strnad. (as in “ima break this piece of shit mp3 player down”)

Zune “Guestlist” – an exclusive audio playlist personally constructed by the band. (consisting of music over the heads of 99% of Zune owners)

Additionally, Xbox Live currently features exclusive video of a BDM fan autograph session at last year’s Summer Breeze Open Air Festival in Germany (I don’t know about you guys, but I personally LOVE watching videos of bands signing autographs.) and a free video download of “What A Horrible Night to Have a Curse.” MSN is also streaming the video for the same track right here. (great, something that’s already available for free!)

Gotta hand it to the Microsoft folks; your innovative marketing techniques are no doubt to thank for the Zune’s smashing success. Oh wait.

-VN

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