Horse the bandBack in early January we reported that HORSE The Band were seeking help booking their own “Fuck the Music Industry” world tour. Here we are a month and a half later with a press release in our inbox from the band’s keyboardist Erik Engstrom (who has blogged for us in the past) that Leg 1 of EARTH TOUR — the self-booked, three-month, four-continent, 40-country tour of the world — is almost fully booked. Usually we’d put the press release here and the tour dates after the jump, but this thing is so fucking impressive (self-booked!) that we’re going to post the full routing here and the press release (which is hilarious and you should read) after the jump. Congrats to HORSE The Band for booking such an incredible run on their own with more to follow. Here are the dates so far:

3/02/2008 – Anaheim, USA @ Chain Reaction
3/03/2008 – OFF
3/04/2008 – OFF
3/05/2008 – Sydney, Australia @ The Metro
3/06/2008 – Melbourne, Australia @ Rare Records
3/07/2008 – Melbourne, Australia @ Gershwin Room (18+)
3/08/2008 – Adelaide, Australia @ Nighttrain
3/09/2008 – Brisbane, Australia @ Club 299 (Under 18)
3/09/2008 – Brisbane, Australia @ Club 299 (18+)
3/10/2008 – Hamilton, New Zealand @ Yellow Submarine
3/11/2008 – Wellington, New Zealand @ Valve (18+)
3/12/2008 – Auckland, New Zealand @ Transmission Room
3/13/2008 – OFF
3/14/2008 – Kashiwa, Chiba, Japan @ Redbomp
3/15/2008 – Shimokitazawa, Tokyo, Japan @ Era
3/16/2008 – Shinsaibashi, Osaka, Japan @ Sunhall
3/17/2008 – Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan @ Eggman
3/18/2008 – OFF
3/19/2008 – Seoul, South Korea @ Live Club SSAM
3/20/2008 – OFF
3/21/2008 – Hong Kong, Hong Kong @ Pier Pressure
3/22/2008 – OFF
3/23/2008 – Bangkok, Thailand @ Bangrak Bar
3/24/2008 – Shanghai, China @ TBA
3/25/2008 – Nanjing, China @ TBA
3/26/2008 – Nanchang, China @ TBA
3/27/2008 – Wuhan, China @ TBA
3/28/2008 – Beijing, China @ MAO Livehouse
3/29/2008 – Singapore City, Singapore @ Home Club
3/30/2008 – Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia @ MCPA Hall
3/31/2008 – OFF
4/01/2008 – Dubai, United Arab Emirates @ TBA
4/02/2008 – OFF
4/03/2008 – Ankara, Turkey @ Tunali Golge
4/04/2008 – Istanbul, Turkey @ TBA
4/05/2008 – Eskisehir, Turkey @ Eskisehir Hayal
4/06/2008 – OFF
4/07/2008 – Tel Aviv, Israel @ Patiphone
4/08/2008 – Haifa, Israel @ City Hall
4/09/2008 – OFF
4/10/2008 – Frankfurt, Germany @ O 25
4/11/2008 – Romagnano Sesia, Italy @ Le Piccole Eine
4/12/2008 – Bologna, Italy @ Sottotetto Club
4/13/2008 – Rome, Italy @ Traffic
4/14/2008 – Lasko, Slovenia @ SMOCL
4/15/2008 – Enns, Austria @ Club Hort
4/16/2008 – Dornbirn, Austria @ Schlachthaus
4/17/2008 – Zagreb, Croatia @ KSET
4/18/2008 – Belgrade, Serbia @ SKC
4/19/2008 – Macedonia @ TBA
4/20/2008 – Thessaloniki, Greece @ Street Attack
4/21/2008 – Greece @ TBA
4/22/2008 – Craiova, Romania @ Pistons & Art
4/23/2008 – Cluj, Romania @ Irish & Music Pub
4/24/2008 – Illichivsk, Ukraine @ Golden Lion
4/25/2008 – Ukraine @ TBA
4/26/2008 – Kiev, Ukraine @ DK Himvolokno -ZVEROVISION-
4/27/2008 – Minsk, Belarus @ TBA
4/28/2008 – Kosice, Slovakia @ TBA
4/29/2008 – Budapest, Hungary @ TBA
4/30/2008 – Wien, Austria @ Arena
5/01/2008 – Warsaw, Poland @ TBA
5/02/2008 – Riga, Latvia @ Melna Piektdiena
5/03/2008 – Helsinki, Finland @ Nosturi
5/04/2008 – Jyvaskyla, Finland @ Lutakko
5/05/2008 – OFF
5/06/2008 – Sweden @ TBA
5/07/2008 – Oslo, Norway @ Garage
5/08/2008 – Copenhagen, Denmark @ Stengade 30
5/09/2008 – Germany @ TBA
5/10/2008 – Meerhout, Belgium @ GROEZROCK
5/11/2008 – Plymouth, United Kingdom @ White Rabbit
5/12/2008 – London, United Kingdom @ Underworld
5/13/2008 – Stoke on Trent, United Kingdom @ Sugarmill
5/14/2008 – Glasgow, United Kingdom @ Ivory Blacks
5/15/2008 – Sheffield, United Kingdom @ Corporation
5/16/2008 – Yeovil, United Kingdom @ The Orange Box
5/17/2008 – Portugal @ TBA
5/18/2008 – Paris, France @ La Scene Bastille
5/19/2008 – Bordeaux, France @ L’Heretic
5/20/2008 – Bilbao, Spain @ Santana 27
5/21/2008 – France @ TBA
5/22/2008 – Switzerland @ TBA
5/23/2008 – Trier, Germany @ Ex-Haus
5/24/2008 – Bochum, Germany @ Matrix
5/25/2008 – Karlsruhe, Germany @ Jubez
5/26/2008 – Germany @ TBA
5/27/2008 – Berlin, Germany @ Cassiopeia
5/28/2008 – Amsterdam, Netherlands @ Winston
5/29/2008 – Moscow, Russia @ TBA
5/30/2008 – OFF
5/31/2008 – St. Petersburg, Russia @ TBA
6/01/2008 – Dublin, Ireland @ Eamon Dorans
6/02/2008 – Galway, Ireland @ TBA
6/03/2008 – Belfast, United Kingdom @ TBA
6/04/2008 – New York City, USA @ TBA
6/05/2008 – Washington DC, USA @ TBA
6/06/2008 – New Jersey, USA @ TBA
6/07/2008 – Las Vegas, USA @ TBA

The hilarious press release after the jump:

If this is the first you’ve heard about this tour the original press release can be found at http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=290848. We are still planning a DVD, reality-TV series, and feature length documentary as well as press coverage in National Geographic, Time, Life, People, etc. We’re still waiting on a few shows in China to be confirmed and the one show in Dubai. Dubai has been a nightmare to book. If anyone wants to help us out with Dubai email us at [email protected]. Anything else still TBA will be confirmed in the next week or so.

Leg 2 will include all of North and Central America and will take place this summer, hopefully for the most part on Warped Tour (if Kevin Lyman can fit us in somewhere, evidently it’s “full” but a few tens of thousands of emails, bribery, and straight-up blackmail could reveal an previously overlooked opening). If not we start picking off uni-haircut bands with colorful, whimsical ads in the first 30-40 pages of AP. No one will notice they’re gone anyway. We’ll definitely be hitting the US, Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, and Panama at least.

Leg 3 will be in the fall. We hope to confirm 3 weeks in Brazil on the Vans Zona Punk tour, followed by shows in any other South American countries that will have us. The last show of Earth Tour will be in South Africa. By that time, if we aren’t dead, we’ll have played 6 continents in one year and made the world a much, much better place by making a lot of American Internet experts on various topics who have never done anything of note with their lives (you) insanely jealous and angry.

In other news, we are also pleased to announce that Christopher Lyle Prophet has left HORSE the band and has given a statement to the press outside of his West Hills home this morning, saying the decision to leave came after two other decisions were made up in his mind; the decision to “pursue other interests” and also the decision to have “cereal for breakfast”. Ironically, replacing Mr. Prophet on this tour exclusively will be Mr. Jon Karel, drummer of the Number 12 Looks Like You. We have released this statement to the press: “Mr. Karel is probably like one of the top 10 drummers who has ever lived. It is thus fitting that he should now choose to play with HORSE the band. We are very grateful to him for agreeing to go on the hellish nightmare experience of seeing the world for free with us. We wish Mr. Prophet future endeavors, in general.”

To everyone wondering how we are paying for $50,000 of flights up front, we are using the HORSE the band Visa Platinum Business Rewards Card, which is maxed out at $22,750, as well as Erik’s American Express Blue and David’s CITI Diamond Preferred Rewards Mastercard. Not our parents. Also, we aren’t rich, and we do plan to make all our money back and have extra at the end.

Also Monster, AP, and Hot Topic are sponsoring the tour and they all helped us out a lot in different awesome ways. Thanks! If anyone wants to get in on the sponsorship action we are currently accepting money.


Comments on the original press release from punknews.org:

“as admirable as this is, i imagine this will end up being more like a 12 date tour” – forks

HTB: Maybe your imagination is retarded.

“Doubt it will work, considering they want to get on the road in March…way to short to book worldwide shit on your own.
Plane tickets alone are going to cost $$$$$$$$$$” – ZombieCrush

HTB: Interesting observations. Are you an expert? You really flesh out some subtleties we hadn’t considered. It was a real blow halfway into booking this when we realized “Plane tickets alone are going to cost $$$$$$$$$$”. I wish we would have seen your comment earlier! I’m not even going to get into what happened when we finally looked at a calendar and saw how short of notice it was to “book worldwide shit on our own!”

“I call bullshit. just the plane tickets alone would cost over 20 grand a person” – RattusNorvegicus

HTB: I was reading the American Journal of Mathematics last week and stumbled across your fucking paper with the equations backing up this stroke of inspired genius comment, that was when I knew we were FUCKED.

“I was hoping they’d get lost somewhere in Africa, but since they’re not going there I hope someone kicks all their asses in the Ukraine or Israel or something. Guys are fucking idiots.” – R3vengeTherapy

HTB: You hope things about us in your free time. We didn’t know you existed. A good balance.

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