toolAnyone who reads this site regularly knows that we perpetually masturbate to Tool. Matter of fact, I just walked in on Kip whackin’ it in the MetalSucks Mansion Port-a-Potty with “Aenima” blaring out the iPod dock speakers. Ordinarily any news that may delay the creation of the next Tool would be cause for alarm — but when I saw a post on Blabbermouth today with an update that Tool’s Maynard James Keenan is is busy with yet another side-project called Jubilee (you may remember last year’s Puscifer project as well), I thought to myself, “Yes!!!” Without a doubt, like Puscifer, Jubilee ( also featuring Aaron North of Nine Inch Nails / The Icarus Line and Michael Shuman of Queens of the Stone Age) will not be very good, and will sound nothing like Tool, as is the case with most side project in the history of ever. And this is a great thing.

You see, you fools who get angry about side-projects not sounding anything like the “main” project… and get frustrated that the main project’s next album will be delayed… You have it all wrong. When you’re in a mega-popular band like Tool (or System of a Down, for example) you get kind of locked into what your main band’s music can sound like. If Tool came out with a record that sounded like Puscifer, Maynard would be nailed to a stake (your comments about Puscifer prove this). Naturally, he wants to try other things besides what is considered “Tool” music — but his main monetary vehicle can’t be the place to experiment with that stuff, nor would the record label allow it.

Side projects allow musicians to branch out a bit and explore their artistic side in ways that they can’t with their “day job.” So in the case of any potential new Tool record, this means that once it finally becomes time to make one, Maynard won’t have all this pent up musical angst that could potentially water down the Tool sound; he’ll have gotten out his funk and soul willies with these various side projects. And when the time comes, he’ll be ready to make a fucking TOOL record that sounds like the Tool we all know and love.

So, side projects? Yes, please. More of ’em. For every band. Then get back to business when it’s time to kick ass.


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