DALLAS COYLE ON THE GRIND OF THE U.S. PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN

Please, Enough Already!

I don’t know about you guys but I’m getting sick of this presidential campaign. The moment Paris Hilton is giving advice on energy policy is the moment things need to take a ‘Slow Down’. I have an idea. Instead of people forcing Congress to have a vote on offshore drilling let’s have ‘W’ call congress together for a vote to force both candidates to take a month off. Not for them. But for us. The American people need some time off of this fucking campaign.

Now the two candidates are searching for shit to say and do. I’m an Obama supporter but I can’t even watch his speeches anymore. Speeches that once inspired me seem like reruns of a TV show I used to enjoy but now they just kind of annoy me. Why? He HAS to do them. He must stay out there and give these speeches because people aren’t ‘sold’ on him. Running for president is like a long, grueling, shitty job interview. But the people who hire you are mostly uninformed, scared and just plain following what their parents have done in the past. People say they are Republican so they vote Republican. Hey, I’m guilty of that shit too. I voted Democrat.

I would hope that this long process would open up our eyes a little bit. The first thing is: this is politics. Barack Obama and John McCain are politicians. They have to do shit because of their jobs. Speeches, moving to the center, kissing black babies, kissing white babies, etc. I mean, come on, politics is a dirty word but it’s a necessary word. Without politics our country would be fucked. Some of you may think it’s fucked already, some of you may think there is no point to even speaking up because you can’t change anything. I get that. But that’s what politics is for. Anyone can run for public office. In our society, you can be a tattooed, drug addict metal head and you could get elected to any kind of office.

Look at the mayor of Detroit. He looks like a gangbanger in a suit. But he’s the mayor. We live in the best fucking country in the world. He was put in jail today and he’ll probably be elected again. Just like my favorite crack’ smokin’ Marion Barry. Only in America. You have to love this country.

I want the two candidates to give it a rest. I would hope most Americans know that half the shit these two guys say right now won’t be followed through. Case in point, when ‘W’ ran for office he said, “I’ll have a humble foreign policy.” Then those two planes came crashing into the towers and he was like,”Fuck humble, let’s kill us some AYRABS! Terr cain’t exist in the free world!”

The best thing about this long campaign is seeing John McCain have his ‘OLD’ moments. He’s fucking up so much that the news can’t cover it all! He’ll have a gaffe on national TV, the media covers it for a day and he makes another one as they’re still covering his previous blunder. He’s making so many gaffes that people in America can’t tell he’s making gaffes. They don’t mind McCain because they are so used to a president being bad with his words.

Obama may be a little arrogant but shouldn’t we want someone who’s smarter than us leading the country? Why is it such a problem for Americans to admit they may have a weakness. A perfect example is Hillary Clinton’s response to a question in a debate a couple months ago. “Senator Clinton, what would you say your greatest weakness is?” Hillary Clinton: “Well, I’d say my greatest weakness is I love my country too much…” She sat there with that stupid glimmering half-smile. I wanted to bash her fucking face in.

People are literally offended by a presidential candidate who may be smarter than them. What type of backwards thinking is that? If anyone out there is scared of knowledge just stay home and watch reality TV. They literally made it for YOU!

Let’s not get our panties in a bunch about what McCain and Obama are telling us at this moment. If we get attacked again, they will both react differently but I can assure you, what they say now won’t mean shit in January. That goes for both of them. This country still is the best place on earth. I can shit on my politicians and president and not even blink an eye. I’m still voting Obama…

I’m going to steal McDonald’s catch phrase,”AMERICA, I’M LOVIN’ IT!”

Rock!