Black t-shirts are as metal as it gets. Since the dawn of time*, metalheads have been donning black concert tees as a uniform; all other clothing, hair styling and accessorizing is pretty much secondary and unimportant as long as you’ve got a black t-shirt on. MetalGF constantly makes fun of my stacks of black t-shirts**; other than my gray Mastodon tee and a white Tool shirt, my entire shirt wardrobe is pretty much black. But you know what? I’m getting damn sick of it. It’s time to bring some color back to the metal palette and there’s no color better or more metal than… WHITE.

Yeah, you heard me, WHITE. Think about it. Black is fucking played, dude. Everyone from emos to goths wears black t-shirts. It’s almost become a joke. If metal is all about rebelling against the norm, how come we all wear the same damned thing? How about a white Slayer tee? Or a white Iron Maiden hoodie with a giant screen of Eddie emblazened across the front? That screams “bad ass” to me. Maybe I should contact Kosher Klothing about doing a limited run to see how it goes.

It’s time to put those black tees back in the closet and go get some sexy, clean, WHITE band t-shirts. Be the first on your block to sport this hot new fashion!


*Seriously, even cave men wore that shit.
**The picture above is not actually my closet. I don’t hang t-shirts.

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