Laugh At Others' Misfortunes

COURTNEY LOVE’S FACE MAKES BABIES CRY

170

The Huffington Post is reporting that Courtney Love and The Wrestler star Mickey Rourke are secretly dating. I find that kinda funny, given that The Wrestler features a line about what a pussy Kurt Cobain was, and Rourke is a known accomplice of Axl Rose, who famously feuded with Love and Cobain back in the day.

But there’s nothing funny about the way Courtney Love’s face looks.

original

Holy shit. What does Mickey say to this chick in bed? “Baby, I love makin’ love to you, ’cause it’s like looking in a mirror?” Or do you think he’s just sleeping with her because she told him if he doesn’t, she’ll look directly at him, and he’s afraid he’ll turn into stone? The way he’s grabbing his junk in that photo, it seems pretty clear Courtney has already given him crabs – or, more likely, something much, much worse.

But here’s a more pressing concern: why doesn’t the government just take Love around from school to school as part of the D.A.R.E program? ‘Cause I can’t think of a better way to scare kids straight than to show them Courtney: “This is what happens when you use drugs.”

Jesus fucking Christ. Someday I’ll tell my kids if they don’t eat their veggies, Courtney Love will visit them. Actually, I can’t do that – I don’t wanna traumatize them too badly.

Goddamn, that is one ugly woman. I’d rather fuck Marissa Martinez. Seriously.

-AR

Metal Sucks Greatest Hits