NO PENIS? NO DIR EN GREY FOR YOU!!!
Thanks to MetalSucks Maniac Amanda Dobbs for pointing us towards this very unusual story on Pollstar. It seems that Dir En Grey will be playing two shows in their native Japan that are “male only,” and have posted a note on their website to this effect:
“We will confirm your sex at main entrance, therefore you will need to bring a public certificate including health insurance card, pension book, passport, resident’s card. In some cases, we will conduct careful checking. If we cannot check your sex on the day, we may have to refuse your attendance.”
We were curious as to how the band is planning to “conduct careful checking” of audience members’ sex, since we can’t imagine any world in which the ticket holders line is asked to drop trou right there in the street. So we contacted them* to get some answers. After the jump, learn six ways the band plans to make sure everyone who attends these concerts is, indeed, a dude.
- If the audience member has an Adam’s apple, he is a male.
- If the audience member checks his own nails by clenching his finger towards his palm as though making a fist, he is a male. If the audience member checks his nails by holding out his hand flat, then he is, in fact, a she.
- If the audience member has facial hair, said audience member is not necessarily male.
- If the audience member has tits, said audience member is not necessarily a female.
- If the audience member is wearing make-up, said audience member is not necessarily a female.
- If the audience member is in line for a Dir En Grey show, said audience member is not a male.
*Not really. They don’t speak English and, besides, we’re far too lazy to do any actual reporting around here, especially if there’s a decent joke to be made.