YES, YES, YES!!! THE BRET MICHAELS BOOK IS FINALLY COMING OUT!
It was over a year ago that we first got the news that Bret Michaels was writing his autobiography (and by “writing,” I mean dictating to some dude named Shane Stanley who had to do all the actual work); the book, Roses & Thorns (nice title, schmucky), will now finally a get a release on June 23, according to People.com.
Granted, this will not be a good book. The chances that it’s as decent as The Dirt are pretty slim; hell, the chances that it’s as good as Slash are pretty thin (and even Slash was only okay). But, there is a lot of room for comedy here, especially if Michaels takes himself too seriously which, chances are, he will.
Here are things I’m looking forward to reading about in this tome:
- Slash auditioning for – and not getting – the lead guitar gig in Poison.
- Fighting off-stage with C.C. DeVille.
- Fighting on-stage with Bobby Dall.
- Finding out that Richie Kotzen fucked Rikki Rockett’s woman.
- Anything involving the words “Blues Saraceno.”
- The making of Michaels’ writing/directing/acting debut, A Letter from Death Row, co-starring… Martin and Charlie Sheen.
- Anything about any time Michaels was under the illusion he was in love.
- The no doubt insanely brilliant artistic process by which he wrote the lyrics to “Unskinny Bop.”
- Any defense whatsoever of Poison’s music as something beyond just glam/hair metal.
Seriously. This is gonna be the beach book of the summer.