What the...??

IS THERE REALLY SUCH A THING AS GATHERING OF THE JUGGALOS?!?

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The above is a fourteen-minute plus infomercial for what is apparently the 10th Annual (HOLY SHIT) “Gathering of the Juggalos,” which is, of course, an event celebrating the artistry of Insane Clown Posse, who, as you may know, made the Best Metal Album of the 21st Century… So Far. When MetalSucks contributor Dale Croverdale sent it to me, I had to watch twice and visit the official website just to believe that it wasn’t some joke. How the fuck is this happeneing?

In case you don’t have time/inclination to watch all fourteen minutes (and I really think you should make time, assuming you have a fresh pair of underwear to change into when you’re done pissing yourself with laughter), here are some of the reasons the infomercial thinks you ought to attend:

  • It’s a three day event
  • It’s a fucking three day event.
  • There will be free camping with tents of various sizes available.
  • There will be free-style motorcross shows.
  • There will be a “human cannonball”: “This guy is gonna shoot himself out of a cannon, three times a day, all weekend long.”
  • There will be helicopter rides.
  • There will be a wet t-shirt contests.
  • There will be free-style rap battles.
  • There will be pro wrestling.
  • There will be amateur wrestling.
  • There will be magicians.
  • “Yes we will have food, and plenty of it.”
  • Ice Cube will be there.
  • Coolio will be there.
  • Fucking Ice Cube and Coolio will be there.
  • There will be late night comedy “deep in the woods.” ‘Cause that’s where I usually go to check out late-night comedy.
  • Oh yeah: that late night comedy will be courtesy “top comedians” like Pauly Shore, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Jimmy “JJ” Walker, and Upchuck the Clown.
  • The event is promised to be superior to the last nine Gatherings: “Is that even possible? It is possible, and it will fucking happen.”
  • “The feeling in the air…  the feeling of family love… sort of what I imagine the feeling is like for Muslims when the visit Mecca.” – ICP’s Violent J

In conclusion, here’s my question for Oderus: WHY THE FUCK ARE GWAR PLAYING AT THIS EVENT?!?!

-AR

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