Editorials

SEVEWORD HAS GRIEVANCES TO AIR

600

An e-mail I received from long time reader Seveword earlier today:

And air them I shall. I’ve thought this over, and after careful consideration I’ve
decided that the only way for me to go about this is by annoying the hell out of
you, and potentially ruining any chance I have at getting this read. So. Okay.

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FUCK YOU. JESUS CHRIST. DO YOU FUCKERS EVEN LISTEN TO METAL? I’M SERIOUS. WHAT DO I
SEE WHEN I GO TO YOUR STUPID FUCKING SITE? SOME SHITTY FUCKING ATREYU VIDEO? REALLY?
DO YOU HATE YOURSELF SO MUCH THAT YOU’D DO THAT TO SOMEONE ELSE? AND THEN I SCROLL
DOWN AND WHAT THE FUCK DO I SEE? IWRESTLEDABEARONCE? I SAY THIS WITH AS MUCH
SELF-RIGHTEOUS FURY THAT CAPS-LOCK ALLOWS ME TO MUSTER WHEN I SAY

FUCK

YOU

I’VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT YOU NO LONGER KNOW WHAT THE FUCK GOOD MUSIC SOUNDS
LIKE. YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES YOU UPDATE EVERY DAY? LIKE 8 OR 9 RIGHT? THIS SITE HAS
BEEN AROUND FOR WHAT, TWO, THREE YEARS? YOU KNOW HOW MANY POSTS THAT MAKES? A WHOLE
FUCKING LOT, THAT’S HOW MANY. SO I, LITTLE OLD ME, FIGURE THAT I’LL TYPE IN SOME
GOOD BANDS INTO THAT LITTLE SEARCH BOX ON THE SIDE AND SEE HOW MANY THINGS COME UP.
SHOULD BE A LOT RIGHT? I MEAN YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT GOOD METAL IS RIGHT?

WELL FUCK MY SHIT

YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? I TYPED IN “rotting christ” AND GOT 4 FUCKING RESULTS. JESUS
TAPDANCING TITTYFUCKING POGOSTICKING CHRIST ON A GRIZZLY BEAR. THEY’VE BEEN AROUND
FOR LONGER THAN YOU’VE HAD HAIR ON YOUR BALLS AND YOU TAKE TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY TO
TALK ABOUT ATREYU?

FUCK

YOU

I THOUGHT IT WASN’T THAT BAD. YOU KNOW, THEY AREN’T VERY WELL KNOWN, MAYBE I’LL TRY
A DIFFERENT BAND. I FIGURE, “HEY, MAYBE THERE’S A LOT OF STUFF ABOUT THIS BAND” AND
I PUT IN “dark tranquillity” AND YOU DECIDED TO JUST FUCK UP THE REST OF MY DAY.
ELEVEN? FUCKING ELEVEN? THEIR FUCKING KEYBOARD PLAYER JUST TOOK A SHIT WITH A BETTER
HOOK THAN ANYTHING IN FLAMES HAVE EVER WRITTEN AND THERE’S 11 FUCKING POSTS ABOUT
THEM? HALF OF THEM DON’T EVEN FUCKING COUNT, THEY’RE JUST ABOUT AT THE GATES AND
FFFFFFFFFFFFUCKING IN FLAMES!

FUCK

YOU

SWING AND A MISS. ALRIGHT. I CAN DEAL WITH THAT. BUT THEN I MADE A MISTAKE. I HAD TO
GO AHEAD AND SEARCH FOR “bloodbath” LIKE SOMEONE WHO GETS OFF BY HAVING A FAT GUY IN
A GIMP SUIT HIT HIM IN THE DICK WITH A TOASTER. COME THE FUCK ON. DO YOU KNOW WHAT
EVIL IS? DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT EVIL SOUNDS LIKE? PUT THIS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znQ7NK8YIF4 INTO YOUR FJUCKING JINTERNET SJEARCH BJAR
AND FUCKING LISTEN TO IT. YOU HEAR THAT FUCKING GRUNT? YOU HEAR IT? YOU HEAR THAT
GUY GRUNTING INTO YOUR FACE LIKE A FUCKING SERIAL RAPIST? THAT’S FUCKING METAL. WHEN
THIS FUCKER ISN’T BUSY DOING HIS LITTLE “lol i’m a fairy” THING IN THAT FUCKING
OPETH BAND, HE GOES AROUND FUCKING PEOPLE UP LIKE A GODDAMN SERIAL KILLER, FUCKING
SHIT UP. YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHY.

DID METAL EXIST BEFORE IWRESTLEDABEARONCE? I DON’T FUCKING THINK SO, LOOKING AT THIS
SITE. TWO FUCKING PAGES OF SEARCH RESULTS COVERED IN JIZZ DEVOTED TO THESE LOSERS.
IJIGEJGRKRIGJPAEJHBGPT’BJ’TEJRIHJ FUCKING HELL. GET YOUR THUMBS OUT OF MOUTHS, YOUR
HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES, AND STOP BEING SUCH WHINY LITTLE BITCHES. WHEN’S THE LAST
TIME YOU LISTENED TO SOME AMON AMARTH. GODDAMN.

….

I love the site. Keep it up! :)

-AR

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