MAJOR props to MetalSucks Maniac “jwaal,” who e-mailed me about this wwwaaaayyyy back in October. I always meant to write about it but basically completely forgot to, even though it’s a brilliant observation.

So let’s back it up for a minute. When I was a kid, before I discovered metal, I was a HUGE wrestling fan. I guess I always liked big sweaty dudes with long hair and lots of make-up, I dunno. But my two favorite wrestlers were Lex Luger in the WCW – who we named our family dog after (no shit) – and The Ultimate Warrior in the WWF. I guess that’s why I have no problem with the concept of corpse paint.

The Warrior was a madman, capable of bouts of berzerker rage that would annihilate all in his path. The man beat Hulk Hogan, which, believe you me, was a big, big deal at the time. And because I was a young ‘un, I didn’t really realize that very little of what he said actually made any sense. To wit, this highlight reel of some of The Ultimate Warrior’s finest quotes:

How does all of this relate to metal, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you how: because of the brilliant poetic mind of Guy Kozowyk, front man for The Red Chord.

See, I knew Guy was a wrestling fan ’cause of that Metal Injection interview where he made reference to Koko B. Ware, who was always kinda lame but still insanely memorable because of this stupid bird dance he used to do.

But until jwaal pointed out to me the use of Warrior quotes in The Red Chord’s song “Floating Through the Vein,” I had no idea that Kozowyk shared – and apparently surpasses in passion – my interest in The Ultimate Warrior.

‘Cause The Warrior uses the phrase “floating through the vein” in the above video. He also says “Come on in where nightmares are the best part of my day,” which Kozowyk uses as a lyric in the song. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if almost all of the lyrics to the song were UW quotes.

And this gives the lyrics a whole new dimension (and a wicked sense of humor). Since The Warrior has admitted that he used to use steroids, the meaning, or at least the possible meaning, of the song suddenly seems that much clearer.

And here’s the kicker: what reminded me, finally, that I wanted to write about this, was a friend sending me this link, to a brand new Ultimate Warrior merch store. Some of these shirts are pretty metal; I’m definitely ordering on, and will wear it unironically and with pride. ALWAYS BELIEVE!!!

And in case you don’t know The Red Chord’s “Floating Through the Vein,” here it is. Even if you don’t give a shit about anything I just said, it’s still an awesome song.


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