The Webernets

VAPID POP STAR DEEMS HORSE THE BAND “TOO EMO,” MEGADETH “DOPE”

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Full confession: until about an hour ago, I had no idea who the hell Ke$ha was. I think I’ve read some shit about her on Stuff You Will Hate, or maybe she just looks like someone I’d read about on Stuff You Will Hate (she’s collaborated with SYWH favorites 3OH!3); in any case, I didn’t really know any of her music.

Then I saw on The Number of the Blog that Metal Hammer played her a bunch of metal songs – including selections by Slayer, Megadeth, Horse the Band, Atreyu, DevilDriver, Steel Panther, and Kiss – to get her opinions, and decided I had better check out her music so I knew how seriously to take her reactions.

Holy shit, is this bitch ever lacking in talent. It’s like she looked at Brittney Spears and Lindsay Lohan and said “Nah, those chicks are too classy and prude for me.” If I ever caught my daughter listening to this garbage, I’d probably send her to a convent. And given that I’m Jewish, you should know if I ever send my daughter to a convent, I mean business.

But as it turns out, Ke$ha (I assumed it was pronounced “kee-sha” but apparently it’s “keh-sha,” which sounds like a dish my mom’ll be making at Passover next week) does not have terrible taste in metal – just kinda mediocre taste in metal. Her assessment of Atreyu pretty much hits the nail on the head, and it’s hard for me to talk too much smack on anyone who has good things to do say about the recent output of Slayer and Megadeth. But Horse the Band, “too emo?” Seriously? How about a nice cold glass of go suck a dick, Ke$ha?

-AR

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