I’ve always been a crappy band namer. I’m crappy at naming anything, really. I come from a long line of people who were bad namers as well. My parents named me Sacha for fuck’s sake. We have absolutely no Russian in our gene pool. My mom already had a cat named Sacha when I was born. She either really liked the name, or just wasn’t creative enough to think of something else to call her first-born child. Thanks to her, I was constantly asked by my peers if I knew that “Sacha is a girl’s name,” which probably led to me getting into heavy metal, which most definitely led to me eventually writing this blog entry for MetalSucks. So yeah, thanks Mom.

Back to the band name thing. Yeah, I suck at it. I’ve never named a single band I’ve ever been in. God damn it if I haven’t tried, though. And god damn it if it isn’t the most pathetic, embarrassing, and unnecessarily vulnerable experience a group of musicians will ever put themselves through. You spend all week thinking of a name you believe to be unique, and to have meaning, then present it at rehearsal the next day only to have it written off after 15 seconds of consideration with a “nah, man…” while everyone stares away at the ground and/or quickly changes the subject.

Even if the band name you all pick is good, it’s still going to sound retarded to anyone who isn’t in your band. This only worsens over time. Imagine how many times someone who played in, for example, Prostitute Disfigurement, had to explain their band name at a family gathering. Or even a band like Killswitch Engage. I can totally picture the banker second cousin going “what does that even… mean?” What does it mean? I guess it really doesn’t have to mean anything. “Intronaut” has a made up definition, but it doesn’t really have any significance beyond that.

I’m bringing this up because I just finished a record with a side project of mine and the band still doesn’t have a freakin’ name. We’ve been writing and recording this thing for maybe nine months now and still can’t decide what to call it. So, I’m hoping to get some help from you fine people. If you come up with a name, I will not only send you a free copy of the album and one free shirt from every design this band ever prints, but I will send you a free copy of the new Intronaut album and a shirt when it comes out in (hopefully) September.

Just to give you a little info on the project, it is made up of Derek Donley and Darin Tambascio, the two members of a band called National Sunday Law (whose latest EP was recently written about on Metalsucks and can be downloaded for FREE here) and me. We basically locked ourselves in a home recording studio twice a week for nine months with guitars, drums, a bunch of synths, and probably close to a pound of marijuana, and now the record is almost done and it pretty much rules. Here is a little sampler thing I put together with clips from a couple of the rough mixes to give you an idea of what it sounds like. Sorry for the shitty youtube quality.

Please post your band name ideas here in the comments section. Even if we “nah, man” your idea, I still love you just for participating.


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