Hair Metal Happy Hour

CHRIS HOLMES: STILL CLEVER

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As much as I love (most) hair metal and loathe (most) nu-metal, I do have to admit that there seems to be some unspoken ongoing competition between the two genres – not to see which one can sell the most records (I suspect that hair metal wins in that regard, given that those bands’ reign lasted longer, and occurred in a purely pre-internet error), but, rather, which genre can ultimately embarrass itself more. And while you’d think that any genre that routinely invited DJs in the fold would pretty much win in a cakewalk, some days I really do think that, nope, hair metal has more idiots.

For example: remember when some former members of Snot tried to re-form that group even though Lynn Strait is dead, and then, when that didn’t work out, they decided to reform under the name “Tons,” which, all you Einsteins will surely notice, is just “Snot” spelled backwards? That was pretty dumb, right? It would be hard to imagine a stupider scenario in which former members of a famous band try to re-form under a different name, but are sure to choose one that lets everyone know their point of origin.

But if you can’t imagine a stupider scenario, it’s not because you’re lacking in creativity; it’s simply because you’re not stupid enough. But Chris Holmes is stupid enough. He some other former members of W.A.S.P. have formed Where Angels Suffer, or – yep yep! – W.A.S.

They named their band “W.A.S.” Just let that sink in for a minute.

I almost feel bad for these dudes who are so desperately clinging to the glories of their past just to put food on the table, but then again, this:

-AR

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