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CLEARLY, THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN

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Tracii Guns is working on his autobiography. This is easily the best news you’re going to hear all day and possibly all week or even all month, for the following reasons:

  • Tracii loves to remind everyone that he’s the “Guns” in “Guns N’ Roses,” even though he left the band before they were signed and had nothing to do with the writing of any of the songs on any of their albums.
  • Tracii has overseen approximately 2,384,957 incarnations of L.A. Guns, and often changed the band’s sound drastically from album to album to address current trends. Unlike Axl Rose’s revolving GN’R line-up, all of these incarnations have released (generally terrible) records and toured. There are currently two versions of the band in existence, one of which doesn’t even feature Guns.
  • The reason there are two versions of the band right now are because Tracii quit L.A. Guns in 2002 to join Nikki Sixx’s Brides of Destruction. When that band inevitably sold five copies of their album and Nikki even more inevitably returned to Motley Crue, Tracii had to start a new L.A. Guns in order to feed himself. He accomplished this feat by hiring a singer who was to L.A. Guns as he was to GN’R – which is to say, had been in the band originally but never released an album with them – so that he could claim his new L.A. Guns was the real original L.A. Guns, even though the old L.A. Guns, which now tours and records without him, features more original members. (Got all that?)
  • Tracii is going to have to try and find a way to explain all of this that doesn’t make him seem like a fame-chasing douchebag, which is pretty much impossible, or be honest and admit that he’s been chasing fame, which he’ll never do.
  • Fewer people in the world today care about Tracii Guns than will attend your average Metallica show, which means this book is going to sell terribly.

Put more simply: I wanna read this book, and I wanna read it yesterday. I cannot wait for this thing.

-AR

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