Readers' Choice

ARE. YOU. F*CKING. KIDDING ME???

  • Axl Rosenberg
1000

ARE. YOU. F*CKING. KIDDING ME???

I’ve never personally metal Cody Barrick, but he is the definition of a MetalSucks Maniac – he’s been reading the site for a long time and has supplied us with some really good tips for stories in the past. So when I got a “Reader’s Choice” e-mail from him today, I was curious to listen to the band he wanted to suggest.

But when I opened his e-mail, I saw the following claim…

“These guys by the name of Ennui Breathes Malice are so awesome! Way better than Daath and Slayer if you ask me.”

…and I knew I was in trouble.

And I was right. Ennui Breathes Malice are a slightly-above-average but ultimately incredibly generic deathcore band. They are not way better than Daath and Slayer. They are not a little better than Daath and Slayer. They are not even close to Daath and Slayer. (I also have to assume they’re not that bright; I can understand how ennui might breed malice, but I have no fucking idea how ennui would breath malice, or breathe at all.)

Daath is one of my favorite modern metal bands out there right now, and obviously we have a relationship with those dudes, so Cody was barking up the wrong tree to begin with. But let’s disregard that for now; Daath are still a pretty young band, and it’s still way too soon to say what, exactly, their place will be in the annals of metal history.

But SLAYER?!?! The only time you should say a band is “way better than Slayer” is if that phrase is directly proceeded by the words “Metallica are” or “Megadeth are” or maybe even “Exodus are.” I’m not saying I believe that Metallica, Megadeth, and/or Exodus are better than Slayer – my opinion of which of those bands is superior is wholly irrelevant to this conversation – I’m just saying that Slayer’s contribution to metal is inarguable. Their influence is vast and far reaching. There would be no Ennui Breathes Malice if not for Slayer. Almost none of the music we listen to would exist if not for Slayer.

I guess my point is this: if you’re gonna make a really, really bold claim, make sure it’s not completely ridiculous. Do not assert that a young, unsigned band with one album to their credit is better than one of the most important metal bands of all time. Okay?

-AR

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