LIGHTNING SWORDS OF DEATH BRING NOTHING ALONG WITH THEIR KVLT ON THE EXTRA DIMENSIONAL WOUND
I’ve never really understood the whole “modern raw black metal” trend. I mean, I do understand where the original “kvlt tr00” bands like Darkthrone and Mayhem were coming from… in the 90s. After all, it’s fun to dress up in ridiculous costumes, paint faces, and make hilariously bad quality metal – it’s like Halloween. But I don’t understand how it’s persisted until now. It’s 2010, and I have to ask – WHY IS THIS TREND STILL GOING ON? I appreciate bands like Ihsahn, Lyfthrasyr, and Sear Bliss, who use black metal as a base for their music, a guide so they can later inject more experimental, unconventional aspects into their albums like saxophones, trombones, and lots of other musical stylings that are really fairly unblack. But can somebody explain to me the allure of creating music that sounds like three guys jamming it out in a broom closet in Brazil into an 8-track tape recorder?
Fine, I’m exaggerating. Lightning Swords of Death‘s The Extra Dimensional Wound doesn’t quite approach Brazilian bedroom quality — the production has quite improved from the band’s last album. But it still sucks, and the instruments – particularly the drums – are mixed really poorly. Thrudvang’s (Really? Thrudvang?) drums are clicky, tinny, and obnoxious, Autarch/Farron Loathing’s vocals get staticy and distorted as they get louder, Roskva/Jeremy Stramaglio’s guitar tone is trebly and screechy, and Menno’s bass is, of course, inaudible.
But the worst part about this album is, of course, that the music is shite. Utter shite. I mean, they picked quite possibly two of the worst trends in modern metal (rethrash and tr00 black) and blended them together. I’m just glad there aren’t any random breakdowns.
There is little to no substance or power in any of the riffs or progressions. Get this straight, guys: major third intervals strummed repeatedly with lots of distortion aren’t interesting. They’re repetitive, simplistic, and sound really bad. The so-called thrash elements in this album sound like a sloppy, haphazard attempt by the band at becoming a “blacker” Skeletonwitch. Endless blast beat patterns mixed with equally endless tremolo picking to create what is quite possibly the most boring new release I’ve heard this year.
I just simply can’t tolerate bands that make music this simplistic for no purpose. Simple music does have its place! Industrial bands like Nine Inch Nails have pretty simple beats that are used to create an atmosphere geared towards generating a “pumped” feeling. Even some death metal songs, like Morbid Angel’s “God of Emptiness,” simplify the material to make a heavier sound. But Lightning Swords of Death do neither. Lightning Swords just make simple music because, as far as I can tell, they’re not good enough musicians or songwriters to do otherwise. So their simplicity translates into nothing but boredom.
The best I can say about The Extra Dimensional Wound is that it has badass album art. The rest of it sucks, plain and simple. Stay away from this release at all costs. Even the most kvlt and tr00 will find this album to be a severely lacking release.
Oh, and their live show is terrible as well – it’s like a half hilarious, half completely sickening parody of black metal, complete with an ear-raping bass rendition of EVH’s “Eruption.”
(1 apricot out of 5)