STRANGER: DON’T LET VALIENT THORR NOT SEE YOU SWEAT
Thorriors of the world rejoice and once more cast off your deodorant. Sweaty eminence Valient Himself and his minions from Burlatia (located inside the planet Venus, in case you’re not up on your interstellar geography) have returned to get feral on the collective ass of the human race.
Not hip to Valient Thorr? Allow me to share the recipe. Start with five guys who look like they escaped the Dawn of Man exhibit at your local museum. Pulverize classic guitar rock (Ted Nugent, AC/DC, MC5), push tempos into the red and sprinkle with Anthrax-style choruses. Of course, it’s not Valient Thorr until you add the secret sauce, which is delivering this balls-out gumbo with the recklessness of genuine article punk and enough perspiration to submerge North Americans in an ocean of their malodorous secretions.
Stranger, Valient Thorr’s latest, is a loose concept record that takes for granted the fact that the world is going to hell in a bobsled and some people need to get their shit together if humankind is going to reach the next rung on the evolutionary ladder. Luckily, Valient Himself knows exactly who the guilty parties are, and goes straight for the jugular from the opening bell with “Gillionaire,” channeling the golden rage of Black Flag and calling for accountability from those in the splashy tax brackets. The big man doesn’t exactly have golden pipes (I keep hearing D.R.I.’s Kurt Brecht), but you have to respect the ferocity with which he delivers his sermons on greed, lies, corruption and just generally being a douchebag.
Do-it-all Jack Endino (Nirvana, Mudhoney, High On Fire) reprises his role from the band’s last offering, Immortalizer, so don’t expect a sonic overhaul. (My spleen almost fell out when an acoustic guitar squeezed into the mix during the outro of “Woman In The Woods.”) Nothing fancy here; Endino clearly understands that his job is to set levels, then take cover while the band does the heavy lifting. A clear standout track, “Vision Quest,” finds the band firing on all cylinders, locking into a Maidenesque gallop and setting the table for guitarists Eidan and Voiden Thorr to get in a little Thin Lizzy worship. Given the band’s devotion to velocity it’s worth mentioning that one of Stanger’s highlights, “Night Terrors,” really locks in when the band pulls back on the reins and churns through what sounds suspiciously like a tip of the hat to The Nuge’s “Stranglehold.”
It’s nearly impossible to dislike Valient Thorr, and their M.O. of getting heavy music fans of all stripes to join together in a dripping, ass-kicking “Kumbaya” is admirable. But while Stranger may be the perfect soundtrack for terrorizing the local country club or your next high-speed chase, the songs are just not as strong as those on Immortalizer. There’s nothing here nearly as satisfying as “No Holds Barred” or “Tomorrow Police,” and by the time you get to the half-assed drum solo track (“The Recognition”) it’s pretty clear the record is running on fumes. Of course, true Thorriors won’t give a rat’s fat dick, because Valient Thorr’s meat and potatoes is their hyper-agitated live show. With that in mind, Stranger is basically Valient Thorr changing the points and plugs in order to get their traveling intergalactic shitstorm back on the road.
(3 1/2 outta five horns)
-UG
