KEVIN DUBROW IS ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE
Kevin Dubrow is dead, and I think that most of us assumed he would take Quiet Riot (the seventh most-often-miscategorized-as-a-hair-metal-band of all time) with him to the grave. Those of us who did make that assumption, however, forgot that desperate times call for desperate measures, and an empty belly holds no room for dignity.
The line-up features only one member from the band’s “definitive” era — drummer Frankie Banali. Chuck Wright, who seems to be QR’s bassist whenever Rudy Sarzo isn’t available, is back again, as is Alex Grossi, who was in the last version of the group before Dubrow died, and also played on the Bang Tango and Beautiful Creatures albums nobody cares about (I think I also saw him play with Dizzy Reed’s “Hookers & Blow” cover band once).
The real question on your lips, I know, is “Who is replacing Dubrow?” And although Tracii Guns’ version of L.A. Guns have been able to recruit a series of D-level celebrities to fill out their ranks these past few years (some dude who was on television once, Jizzy Pearl), Frankie Banali is no Tracii Guns, and so he had to hire some guy named Mark Huff, who looks like a cross between Glen Benton and the dude who played Paul Reiser’s brother on that annoying Helen Cunt show, and who previously sang for… a Van Hagar cover band.
Not a Van Halen cover band. A Van Hagar cover band. A group of men who went out of their way to learn and perform Van Halen’s catalog without David Lee Roth.
I mean, just kill yourselves. Seriously. Die. Die, die, die.
ANYWAY, if you go to Quiet Riot’s MySpace page, you can listen to some samples of old QR classics with the new singer. To his credit, he sounds pretty Dubrowian. But to his demerit, he used to sing for a goddamn motherfucking Van Hagar cover band.
-AR
