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EVAN SEINFELD IS TOO SMART

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EVAN SEINFELD IS TOO SMART

Here’s a quote from a recent Noisecreep piece on Biohazard’s Evan Seinfeld. I’ve added my own emphasis in bold:

“We are in the studio, finishing our 10th studio album, and we’re working Toby Wright, who has worked with Metallica, Slayer, Deftones, Godsmack, Korn,” Seinfeld told Noisecreep. “The music is the best we’ve ever written. I’m nervous, because it’s almost too good.”

Okay, so one question: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!?!

How could the music be “too good?” What would define “too good?” I know the old cliché about there being too much of a good thing, but I’ve never heard of something being “too good” before. I can’t even wrap my mind around what “too good” might be. Like, if I was talking to Vince and he said “Oh, hey, Metal GF and I tried this new restaurant the other night,” and I then asked “Oh, how was it?”, and he said “Too good,” I’d have to ask, “What the fuck does that mean?” Like, did Vince and Metal GF spit out their food, leave, and head over to Arby’s or something? “We like quality, but come ON — not THIS much quality!”

And why would the music being “too good” make Seinfeld “nervous,” as he states that it does? Nervous about what? That the band will never be able to top it? That the music will be so good it will make all other good music seem shitty by comparison, and therefore ruin the enjoyment of countless classics for billions of people around the world? Like, Wyld Stallyns music or something? Or will it be so good that people will be killing one another in the streets just to get a copy, like on Metalocalypse? Really, isn’t the only thing Seinfeld should be nervous about is the fact that he just way overhyped the new Biohazard album? ‘Cause now if fans hear it and it’s just good, instead of “too good,” they might feel as though they were lied to.”Oh, hey dude, have you heard the new Biohazard album? It’s good, but not too good. It’s really just the right amount of good. Bummer.”

I really, really hate shit like this. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUR’E SAYING, DUMMY. Sheesh.

-AR

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