F-F-F-Feudin'

WE CALLED IT: COREY TAYLOR PUBLICLY CONTRADICTS JOEY JORDISON AGAIN

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So it was just yesterday that I was commenting on how Joey Jordison keeps going around saying there’s gonna be a new Slipknot album despite the death of Paul Gray, and how Corey Taylor keeps basically saying he’s not sure yet, and how maybe these two should call one another and, y’know, discuss it before making any more comments in public — especially now that  Jordison is promising that plans for a new Slipknot offering are “already in motion,” and that all the other members of the band are “really involved in the process.” In fact, I even predicted that Taylor would say the exact opposite very, very soon:

“That sounds pretty definitive, and saying that ‘everyone’s really involved’ in the creation of a new record more than implies that Taylor is now fully onboard. But I wouldn’t be at all shocked if next week Taylor says he knows nothing about continuing on with Slipknot. I hope that doesn’t happen, ’cause it blows to keep yo-yoing the fans’ excitement like this… I’m just saying that, as always, past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior.”

Well, hey, guess what? I must be psychic or something, ’cause mere hours after my post went up, Taylor tweeted the following messages:

So what the fucking fuck is going on here? I have a few theories:

  • HOLY SHIT, COREY TAYLOR AND JOEY JORDISON SERIOUSLY DO NOT HAVE ONE ANOTHER’S CONTACT INFO. I was totally kidding in my headline yesterday, but at this point, one has to wonder. The lack of communication here is startling. Truly.
  • JOEY JORDISON IS A TOTAL ASSHOLE. He’s just saying whatever he wants in the press ’cause whatever.
  • COREY TAYLOR IS A TOTAL ASSHOLE. See above.
  • JOEY JORDISON AND THE OTHER SURVIVING MEMBERS OF SLIPKNOT ARE WORKING ON A NEW ALBUM AND HAVEN’T TOLD TAYLOR. This would be weird, and it would strongly suggest that Jordison doesn’t understand what the word “everyone” means.
  • THIS IS ALL A PUBLICITY STUNT. I’m not even considering this one yet because it means these guys are being seriously manipulative, and exploiting Gray’s death, and I’d like to believe that they’re not major league scumbags who would do such a thing.

I appreciate that Taylor took to Twitter to try and provide something resembling clarification for the fans, but it really doesn’t matter when we all know that later this afternoon Jordison is gonna give an interview in which he claims that the new Slipknot album is already written, recorded, mixed, and ready to ship, and that the band will be starting a headlining tour next week.

What really needs to happen now is for the band AS A COLLECTIVE UNIT to MAKE A UNIFIED!!! STATEMENT* in which they clear up all this bullshit. And if Jordison really is just pulling nonsense out of his ass, well, that needs to be addressed, too. Yes, we will make fun of him for being a chronic liar, but we’ll also respect him for manning up.

-AR

*Not written by Clown. The whole point is that we need to be able to understand what the fuck you’re saying, not that colors make the heavy sad liger computer belch splintered cotton candy, or whatever the fuck Clown is blathering on about this week.

Thanks: Nickweiser

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