FEAR, EMPTINESS, DECIBEL: ELECTRIC WIZARD WOULD MAKE GREAT ACTION FIGURES
Before there were blogs there were these things called magazines, and the only metal magazine we still get excited about reading every month is Decibel. Here’s managing editor Andrew Bonazelli…
If you could pick one band that should have action figures, it’s gotta be Watain, right? And I don’t mean those creepy roided-out Todd McFarlane things that are at, like, Spencer’s and Suncoast for fat suburban virgins. Original Star Wars-size is sufficient… although that makes me think #1 should be Immortal, since a Blashyrkh playset would be cooler than the Death Star and Unicron combined. (The actual Death Star playset being total bullshit, of course.)
I never considered Electric Wizard for this dubious, infantilizing honor, but after reading Bennett’s cover story on them, they absolutely qualify as a fuck yeah. Not when they were a trio, but today, seeing as how they’re comprised of a married couple, another dude who the better half of said couple “can’t imagine… in my wildest dreams doing an interview anywhere, let alone on the phone,” and another dude with a full facial tat, which recalls either, well, you know or Fuckface Enigma from the Jim Rose Circus (who my friend and I randomly saw in a downtown Cleveland mall 15 years ago, which prompted him to turn to his dad and remark, completely nonplussed, “Hey… Fuckface Enigma.”) Anyway, whether you’re a Dopethrone head or just catching up/dropping out via Witchcult Today and Black Masses — and come on, it’s all the same (amazing) song — you’ll see these delightful degenerates as collectible plastic after reading the piece, too.
Further incentive: the second-ever Decibel Flexi Series entry — this time a live version of 2008’s “The Watcher” from the mighty Enslaved — as well as the worst cover typo we’ve ever let slip by (other than “Queens of the Stone Age: The Coolest Band of the Year Every Year”). That said, Josh Homme would definitely make a sweet-ass action figure. He pretty much dresses like Han Solo already. Any other suggestions?
The February 2011 issue of Decibel comes with a fully movable kung fu grip, but the only way to ensure you get one of them there flexi discs every month is to get a full subscription!