Tour de Force



AVENGED SEVENFOLD TOUR: TO ATTEND OR NOT TO ATTENDI had a math tutor in high school who was, to put it mildly, way creepy. He spent as much time trying to get me to talk about the hot girls in my class (many of whom he was also tutoring) as he did teaching me anything, and he was always excited to attend events he was way too old for — like this one time he somehow wrangled a ticket to the MTV Video Music Awards, and it was like, “Dude, you are old, gray, and bald. You should not be at the fucking MTV Awards. I’m sixteen and I don’t wanna go to the MTV Awards.”

I mention it because the last time I saw Avenged Sevenfold, when they were touring behind their self-titled album, I felt like that dude. I freely admit to being an A7X fan, and the band put on a good show and I was happy to see them, but I looked around and Vince and I were the oldest people there by, like, a lot. It was fucking embarrassing. I could practically hear the scene kids whispering, “Hey, who invited the fucking olds?”

So. The band has announced a new tour, and I kinda wanna go, ’cause Sevendust are also on the bill, and I also enjoy Sevendust, and I haven’t seen them since Clint first returned to the band after the release of That Last Mediocre Album Clint Wasn’t On, or whatever it was called.

On the other hand, I really might be getting too old for this shit. Also, Three Days Grace and Bullet for My Valentine are playing the tour, and fuck that noise.

While I continue to neurotically debate these wholly unimportant issues, here are tour dates (via SMN), so those of you who haven’t found any gray hairs yet can go whether I do or not:

Apr. 22 – Bossier City, LA – Century Tel Center
Apr. 23 – Little Rock, AR – Edgefest @ Arkansas State Fairgrounds
Apr. 25 – Cape Girardeau, MO – Show Me Center
Apr. 26 – Peoria, IL – Peoria Civic Center
Apr. 27 – Rockford, IL – MetroCentre
Apr. 29 – Wilkes-Barre, PA – Mohegan Sun Arena
Apr. 30 – Newark, NJ – Prudential Center
May 03 – Springfield, MA – Mass Mutual Center
May 07 – Charlotte, NC – Carolina Rebellion @ Metrolina Expo
May 09 – Orlando, FL – UCF Arena
May 10 – Pensacola, FL – Pensacola Civic Center
May 11 – Lafayette, LA – Cajundome
May 13 – Oklahoma City, OK – Zoo Amphitheater
May 14 – Wichita, KS – InTrust Bank Center
May 15 – Des Moines, IA – Lazerfest @ Ntnl Balloon Classic Launch Field
May 17 – Lubbock, TX – Lonestar Amphitheatre
May 18 – San Antonio, TX – Illusions Theater – Alamo Dome
May 21 – Columbus, OH – Rock on the Range @ Crew Stadium


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