Upcoming Bullsh*t



While Anso was running the site last Thursday and Friday and Axl and I were away coordinating our next shipment of Maldovan prostitues on a business trip, we somehow had the good fortune of ending up on a limousine-style party bus with a bunch of metal industry cohorts. Some whiskey, beer, and a [new, fake] can of Four Loko later, DJ duties on the bus’s decked-out but impossible-to-operate sound system fell into my clearly incapable hands. Black leather seats, champagne glasses, black lights, big screen TV… what better party music that I happened to have on my iPhone than the almighty CHROMEO???

Picture the scene! I had some booze in me and was GROOVIN’, maybe even dancing, and shit was BANGIN’!. Party time! Pass the joint! Rob from Metal Injection was all over that shit and backed my DJ pick. A couple of other folks nervously nodded along, putting their very metal cred on the line in favor of some fuckin’ disco JAMZ, son! Bold!

“What is this crap? Fuck this bullshit! Don’t we have some band’s demo CD or something we can put on?” These words rang through the air from the mouth of a high-up metal industry dude and cut through my heart like that time I found out the super-hot girl in my 9th grade gym class was only into other girls.

Cue the scratchy record slow-down effect you hear in movies when someone says something awkward and the music stops. In my haste to find a more, ahem, suitable musical selection for our ride the best I could come up with on the fly while I contended with ear-numbing silence was this:

Headbanging! Resumption of chatter! Metal exec greatly enjoying! Even better, he’d never heard Insomnium before… double-win for Neilstein!!! Crisis averted, mission accomplished, pride restored. Insomnium 4evr.

I tell you this story because apparently Insomnium have a new album on the way, or so sayeth a post yesterday at Metal Underground:

The fifth Insomnium studio album is beginning to take shape. We had a three-day training and songwriting session last week and we can now say that we have about eioght [sic] songs more or less ready. We are entering the studio in April so we should have enough time to finish everything. Some observers commented that the material sounds surprisingly ready taken that this was only the second training session for the new album…

All bands that aren’t as awesome as Insomnium please take note: if “training sessions” are what make Insomnium so great, all bands should henceforth be required to partake in them.


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